Panda's First Smile

Panda's First Smile
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Thursday, April 14, 2011

A brief, precious, sweet Message to The Tribe of SchM'aGooglites: LISTEN UP!

Dear SchM'aGooglites,


As we approach Passover, please bear in mind how the Egyptians
were smitten (smitten real good, I tell ya!) when Pharaoh refused the
demands made of them by Charlton Heston, former President of
the NRA,  to "Let Our People GO!" You gonna mess with an APE?


Have you young billionaire tykes never seen the awesome epic,
"The Ten Commandments?" or whatever it was called. 


So! You refuse to connect Google to Blogger, you continue to
defy the Guinea Pig Nation with your impertinent indifference!


Which insults us! We may be small, mind you, but so was that
slingshot with which David slew Goliath! We are small but be
forewarned: The Guinea Pig Nation of Blogging Cavies plans
a potlatch meeting in the War Tent as we approach these
Holy Days, SACRED for so many...


And if ever we have felt ignored, insulted, belittled, minimized,
bullied, pushed over, slighted, THESE BE THE DAYS!
Your condescending indifference of our Need To Blog vexes us,
we are confused...it has been a month! You think we have nothing
worth saying, nothing worth showing? Hmmmm...well, mom has
come home (O.K. she had a headache and never actually left!)
BUT! let's say she has come bearing our Guinea Pig BIG-BOY 
PantZ which we are puttin' on while issuing forth this ultimatum: 
FIX THE alleged "Broken Link" you admit exists between Google,
Picasa, and Blogger...
OR BE SchMITTEN! ("Smitten" to you goys out there.)


oh, and puh-LEASE don't throw any of that "What happened to all 
that "non-violent - Be Kind to All - stuff?" we espouse so earnestly:
Ever consider that we write after an indescribably foamy latte with just a 
sprinkling of vanilla and subtle hint of cardamom, ever think of THAT?
Or, maybe we should print a retraction: Be kind to all beings with the
NOTABLE EXCEPTION OF -


{EDITOR: YumYUM?!}


"FINE! Mom, just writing thank- you notes for all the Passover cards
we've been getting! No worries. You go on back to sleep. We love you."


{EDITOR: O.K. guess I didn't notice the Passover cards, note to self:
notice the Passover cards. How thoughtful of our friends to send them.}


Whew! Back to business:
SchM'aGooglites,
You take us for furry little fools?! 
BESIDES: We ARE kind... Kind of! 
MAYBE YOU ARE THE EXCEPTION, HUH?!"


Our line hath been drawn in the sand...O.K. in our cage-litter,
but NONETHELESS DRAWN! Do not underestimate the Power
of The Guinea Pig Nation of Righteousness for we know where the
locusts dwell...and if you don't fix things so we can start blogging pictures
of our magnificent selves STAT, EXPECT VISITORS OF THE
SEVEN PLAGUES genre...just sayin' we hope you like frogs...
GOOGLE you  dwell on your High Horse at MOUNTAIN VIEW, 
CALIFORNIA: WE HAVE YOUR ADDRESS AND SO DOES THE 
LOCUST KING! (and, just between you and me, he is NOT
an attractive locust, either... not to knock locusts, but ZOWZA-Wheeek!)
Wouldn't want HIM over for dinner. Knowing we WERE THE DINNER!


Have a nice day.
love,
YumYum


P.S. WE have our menorah handy and will be lighting one candle for each
night you choose NOT TO fix "The Blogger Debacle of 2011"...we're feeling 
kind of Holy, Righteous, and DECIDEDLY in the mood for a Regime Change in
Silicon Valley!


Thus, YumYum hath spoken!

6 comments:

  1. Whoa! That outta do it, by cracky!

    ReplyDelete
  2. O.K. now tell me how you read this
    before it was even finished? We are
    beginning to suspect you have hidden
    powers. Would you, by any chance, have
    the address of any hungry locust families?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You silly goof! I just catch it as it comes up on my dashboard. It must have been finished.

    ReplyDelete
  4. oh my, i bow down...knowing nothing, will you
    accept me for an apprenticeship, knowing that
    nothing you do may make a difference?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Of course I will. Aren't you supposed to be in bed?

    ReplyDelete