Things Your Guinea Pigs Want You To Know

Things Your Guinea Pigs Want You To Know

We wanted to share this information for those of you

wondering why we are the way we are making mom

be the way she is. Because she is our slave and no

amount of denial will convince otherwise. Humans

think they know stuff. They get a guinea pig. Then

they find out they really need two guinea pigs for

one guinea pig to be truly happy. Then those two

guinea pigs conspire to overthrow the human

government by enlarging their armed forces!

Then the human tries to neuter us to disarm us

but all we do is continue drafting new orphans

"too cute to resist" and after enough neutering,

we became a "don't ask, don't tell" Force openly

enlisting female cavies to strengthen our cause.

When we still felt we could do more to overcome

our human's habits and train her to cater to our

every whim, we finally brought in the "big gun"

Calvin, the small, our first un-neutered male!

Mom pulled out her white flag and surrendered!

BOO-YA! We have discovered strength in diversity

and want to share our little secret with any species

whose person or people still have a life of their own:

THAT AIN'T RIGHT! WE ARE THEIR LIFE, AND

NOBODY AND NOTHING ELSE can distract them...

oh, sure, last summer there were these barn owls

ya, but we not only watched them with mom, two

of us learned how to mimic Molly the Owl and,

although it can happen that occasionally one will

enjoy the companionship of a female cavy capable of

mimicking bird sounds, Taj Mahal is male! And we

forgot who else did it. So, Molly and McGee was an

experience shared by all. Otherwise, mom don't get

none...we advocates not through legislation, phooey!

We are not democratic, we are Czars, Kings, Queens,

Royalty. If you know THAT, you know EVERYTHING
YOUR GUINEA PIGS WANT YOU TO KNOW!

Peace Out,

YumYum