INTERVENTION!

"CALVIN, WAKE UP! WE HAVIN' AN INTERVENTION!"

"WAKE UP, LAZY-PIGULAS! WE HAVIN' INTERVENTION!"

"HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"

"WELL? WHAT WE GONNA DO NOW?!"

PSSssssT! SSssssshhhh! Calling all Hool-I-PigZ for an emergency MOM INTERVENTION!
C'mon, this is serious.
She singing.
She dancin' and playin'her "air drums"
and worse! She singing and dancing and playing her "air drums" to these
songs all at one time. Who we call? Homeland Insecurity or the men in
those starched white coats? Who got the cell phone?
"I ate it by accident. Big ooopsie, huh?"
Group; "CALVIN! YOU DONE IT NOW! SO YOU
GOTTA GET IN YOUR CUDDLE CUP WID THE
SPECIAL BLANKET AND PRETEND TO LET HER
PET YOU TILL YOU FALL ASLEEP, THIS YOUR FAULT!"

"SURE, O.K. BUT THE MUSIC TOO LOUD TO SLEEP - "
"IT GONNA BE FAKE SLEEP, CALVIN, JUST GET HER
TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU AND CALM DOWN!
YOU ARE THE INTERVENTION! DO IT GOOD AND
MAKE US PROUD!"

I can say "Row. Row."
That's a start! So start rowing!
(see Geico commercial a few posts down for reference...
or not. Who cares at this point? It's just been one of those days!)