HE'S WEARING ME OUT AND THEY HAVEN'T EVEN DESCENDED YET!

YA know, mom's been bellyachin' a lot lately and we've all
been soooooo sympathetic, blah, blah, blah. So maybe I've
been thinking it was VinnyGuinea, the streak o'fur that is
always in motion...he can wear a guy out, y'know? He even
wears me out when YumYum asks me to take him for 
Runabout so he can get his beauty rest...And I got a LOT
o'Energy myself, so it's been great, but VinnyGuinea?

WHADDA-WHADDA-WHADDA wid that one? extreme pig?!

WELL, I gotta tell ya the truth, now I think it ain't VinnyGuinea,
it mom! Like, if she makes us sit through one more episode of "Boston Legal" on NETFLIX or takes me to bed "to cuddle" when

I'd rather be running around laughing as VinnyGuinea swooshes up and down his CARROTUS GIGANTICUS...well, all I'm sayin' is sumpin's gotta give here! And maybe it ain't all Vinny, after all?

I mean, mom, we love you, but...oh Bloody Barn Owl Hork, 
here she comes for "lovey lap time" and HEY, Vinny, YO! 
VINNEY'S...SEE 'IM, mom? HE'S BACK THERE! DON'T 
COME

KNOCKING ON MY FRONT DOOR...OH DEAR, NO DOOR...

HEY, Bhindi tricked me! There's no door! I'M A NINJA!
I'M A NINJA! SNEAKING OUT THE WINDOW. YOU
DON'T SEE ME! I'M A NINJA, INVISIBLE ASSASSIN
OF THE NIGHT, NOT A MOM-CUDDLER, A LETHAL
AVENGER OF...MOM, LOOK OVER THERE, I THINK
SWIRLY, SOFT BHINDI'S OVER THERE! AND IF NOT,
THERE'S ALWAYS YUM-YUM UP FOR A LOVE CUDDLE!
BUT I'M A NINJA!

THAT VinnyGuinea gotta lotta nerve betraying me like that,
wid all his "ninja" mumbo-jibber, so I'm gonna eat his NinjaHouse!
Yup, gonna eat it, gonna eat it good!

AH, look at us, both worn to the quicks of our toenails with all this NinjaJibberWocky...and for what? We all know who's wearing us

out - MOM! She don't belong on the floor wid us is what it is!
The nurse said it's her blood pressure being too low, needs more
fluids and salt, so we've ordered a small ocean to be installed in the kitchen for her to swim and drink! Get her moving. Also, no more looking at pictures that make her sad. Not for a little while or even a long while. And get that carcass OUT O'THE HOUSE!
FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK IS THIS FRIDAY AND ARE YOUR CARDS AND ARTWORK READY, MOM? (WELL, OF COURSE, THAT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION!) NOT TO MENTION WE DEMAND MORE COVERAGE OF OUR EXTENDED FAMILY, WE ARE SO CURIOUS ABOUT OUR ADVENTUROUS FAIRY AND OUR BAVARIAN MEERI COUSINS! TALK ABOUT MOUNTAINS...LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO US, MOM! YOU HAVE WORN OUT "THE UNWEARABLE-OUTABLES"! NOW, get up and go straight to bed like the rest of us because we have a brand new cage with lots of toys (thank you, you know who you are!) for you to put
together tomorrow not to mention your art not to mention whoever comes over to make sure you washed your hair! Now that was even making US GAG! SERIOUSLY, MOM? YOU COMB US BUT WE HAVE TO LOOK AT THAT RAPTOR
NEST ON YOUR HEAD? AND YOU JUST PUT ON A BALL
CAP AND THINK WE ARE NOT...WELL, IT'S LIKE HAVING OUR EYES PUT OUT, FRANKLY! We are all sad. But YOU have become disgusting! You didn't share what ELSE the nurse put down, did you? uh-huh...didn't think so...about the personal hygiene? about maybe you needing assistance? hey, we may eat our poohs but we're supposed to! fine, we'll stop. maybe we've said too much.

(YumYum: "You have NO idea? You said too much about a foot above this sentence! Just wait and see... Can you spell TRUBBLE? CUZ YOU IZ IN IT NOW!!!")

OOPS: Did the thoughts actually come out of my mouth? Uh-Oh!

YumYum, you know Bhindi started it! I didn't say a thing!
You know that, right? Right? Of course you do. Whew!

Hey, YumYum, notice how much I'm growing, and how much
I resemble a little guinea pig? (Not a ninja?) A little guinea pig?

Just an innocent baby guinea pig growing up, waiting for his
man-parts, waiting for his bits, eating his breakfast, playful,
loving life, loving his friends, bringing consolation to his broken-
hearted, precious mom, the one he holds so dear. The one he'll
console tonight...just a little baby guinea named Vinny, yeah,
that's me all right! Eating so I'll have more strength with which
to love the ones I hold so dear to my heart, yeah, that's it, that's
me, VinnyGuinea, Prince of Peace, Bringer of Consolation,
Everybody's Favorite Guinea Pig, role model, Exemplar Emeritus!

       OH, PUH-LEASE! I CAN'T TAKE IT!

JUST wake me up when the next NETFLIX comes. I'm
starting to like "Boston Legal." Until then...
ZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................

And mom climbed Mt. Everest and everybody played happily
together with all their new toys and treats and popcorned
like bright, red balloons in the deep azure sky shape-shifting
into shapes of billowy, white clouds like giraffes and
hippos, and lions, and zebras, and guinea pigs GALORE
RIDING BRIGHT ORANGE AND GREEN
CARROTUS GIGANTICUSSES
UPON WHICH WERE WRAPPED
OCTOPI WITH NAMES LIKE
Bean and Bop and Pip and Pop!
~the end~