WARNING FROM THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE!

WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED
A WARNING FROM THE
NATIONAL WEATHER
SERVICE THAT AN
IMPENDING WIND AND
SNOWSTORM IS DUE TO
HIT US TONIGHT AND
INTO TOMORROW WITH
WIND GUSTS AND SNOW...
Vinny: "Bhindi, we already know that."


I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED!
MOM HASN'T GAINED
ALTITUDE IN TWO DAYS,
SHE THOUGHT TODAY
WAS SUNDAY, SHE CALLED
EDWIN, WHO SAID IT WAS
SATURDAY...

Vinny: "Bhindi, we already know that, too. Pip-pip
and out with it!"

I AM THE EMBODIMENT
OF LOVE PERSONIFIED,
AS YOU CAN SEE...HOW MANY CAVIES
CAN FIT "INSIDE" BUT BECAUSE MOM
COULDN'T "GAIN ANY ALTITUDE" FOR TWO DAYS SHE HAS BEEN HOMEBOUND WHICH MEANS SHE CAN SEE EVERY LITTLE THING I DO AND SHE HAS A VERY BIG BAND-AID ON HER FINGER BECAUSE...

Vinny: "Go on, please, Bhindi. The court is waiting."


FINE. I ATTACKED VINNY THEN 
YUM-YUM COULD SMELL MY BITEY-SMELL ON VINNY'S FUR WHEN MOM SNATCHED HIM UP AND AFTER LOVING HIM AND CHECKING HIM FOR BITE-MARKS AND CALMING HIM PUT HIM BACK IN WITH YUM-YUM, WELL, THEN
YUM-YUM SMELLED "THE SMELL
OF MY MANHOOD DOMINANCE
MUSK" (available in department stores everywhere) BUT HE MISTOOK IT FOR
VINNY'S (LIKE HE EVEN GOTTA PAIR!) SO 
YUM-YUM ATTACKED VINNY SO THIS MORNING MOM LET US OUT TO JUST "RUN IT OFF"
BUT THEN EVERYBODY ATTACKED
EVERYBODY, SO SHE TOOK THE
RAMP OFF MY CAGE DIVIDER AND USED THE "DIVIDER" DIVIDING MY CAGE IN HALF FOR YUM-YUM AND VINNY, THEN PUT ME AND VINNY IN IT, MOVING YUM-YUM BACK "HOME" SINCE ME AND VINNY ALREADY PLAY IN MY CAGE EXCEPT NOW THERE'S A DIVIDER - ARE YOU FOLLOWING ALL THIS? MOM'S NOT... SHE IS STARING INTO SPACE WONDERING HOW COLORFUL EXPLODING STARS ARE...SO NOW SHE CAN EITHER GET THREE CAGES 
OR DO THE "SNIP-SNIP-I-FICATION" 
SO SHE CALLED EDWIN WHO AFFECTIONATELY CALLS ME
"MANGOSTEEN" AND THEY GET INTO WHETHER OR NOT IT'S SATURDAY OR SUNDAY BUT EVENTUALLY MOM GETS 'ROUND TO OFFERING HIM A CHOICE:
1-THREE SEPARATE (BUT EQUAL) CAGES OR...2-AND HE SAID, "WHEN YOU'RE WELL ENOUGH."
AND MOM SAID, "I'm not gonna do it!"
AND HE SAID, "NO, TAKE HIM
TO THE VET, I GOTTA GO."


AND THAT WAS THAT.


AND NOW MOM CAN'T GAIN ALTITUDE AND MY TOENAILS MADE HER BLEED BUT SHE HAS LOTS OF FIRST-AID IN CASE THE EPIC, GREAT PACIFIC NORTHWEST EARTH-SHATTERING KRAKATOA OF MODERN TIMES EARTHQUAKE, TSUNAMI, VOLCANO, PIPELINE EXPLOSION ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT CATASTROPHIC GEOLOGICAL EVENT WE SUPPOSED TO GET DOES HAPPEN, WE HAVE LOTS OF BAND-AIDS, JUST NO TAPE FOR THE GAUZE PADS...?
SO SHE PUT THAT ON HER "Things to do when Vertical" list and now I'M even on the list, gettin' snipped even though YumYum and Vinny are both calm and getting along just fine. See how powerful my musk is?
Why I gettin' punished for just bein' me, huh?


NO RESPECT FOR THE WELL-HUNG!
THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE BEAUTIFUL.
And the windy, the snowy, the altitude challenged.
(she'll never really be well enough to take me to the vet, so who's worried?!)
Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow...