Dear Reader,Have you ever woken up on a sunny day, stretched, climbed out of bed, slipped into your
favorite slippers, put on your favorite free trade, bird friendly, shade grown, organic coffee
and asked yourself, aloud or silently (it doesn't matter), have you really asked yourself:
"Why, how in tarnation did that guinea pig get named Bear the BeaverPig?!"
We don't know what tarnation means.
Mom is from the deep South. She suggested I put it in because she said that's how Southerners talk; they say, "How in Tarnation?!"
Or, "What in Tarnation?!"
Perhaps there is a Tar Nation populated by Tars? Dunno.
Southerners...well, they're different. I'll leave it there. Mom's
friend, Jerry, still lives in the South and he wants a dormouse to
live in the owl box currently being checked out by squirrels. Mom loves Jerry, we all do. But we don't get his predisposition towards dormouses.(He even saw "Alice in Wonderland" movie- just for the dormouse!)
Southerners! Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. Even WE live with one: mom!
READERS: We aim to please! Since your favorite PandaPig is an obliging fellow, I have hereto-forthwith illustrated in living color just How in Tarnation Bear got the moniker,
"BeaverPig!"
Ever seen something like that in YOUR house? Of course you haven't!
He rattles those cage bars so loudly that mom can no longer stand the noise and reluctantly gives us extra treats to calm him. (Read: to calm her!)
We do not encourage this undignified behavior. Frankly, we consider it ill-mannered, ungentlemanly,
and extremely unrefined! How DARE he?!
So we whisper: "Hey, Bear, do it again: more treats!" He obliges because he's so proud of those
pearly-whites! Win-Win. Maybe not for mom, but who cares, because everything isn't about her!
It is good throughout the Land to have Bear in our herd! Go Bear! Go Tars! Go in Peace, with Good Manners. All of you, git! (another Southern expression: "Git! Git on, y'all!") It's past our bedtime, so git!
PANDAPIG OUT!
