Princess Beatrice Intervenes

Raj, darling, it's me, Bea...not Millie Bea, silly, PRINCESS BEA OF Millinery Fame!
Darling, I've seen my share of bad bums, believe me, with these hats, I attract them!
Which places me in a particularly special position to help you get your lady, particularly since she's from This Side of The Pond...Look, let's have tea and cucumber sandwiches
on Friday at 4...say, Harrod's? NOBODY will see us there! Don't give up on Fairy
yet just because of you're an American PiratePig:  Even Fairy Princesses want their mates viral, strong, handsome, charming, lovely in that manly, bad-boy way, we just have to
refine a few details is all, so is it a date then, darling? Shall I see you then?
What? Have Harrots shave the cucumber, don't you care for the skin?
Well, THAT'S OUR FIRST CLUE THEN, NOT CARING FOR THE SKIN.
Until Friday, Ta-Ta, Pip-Pip, off you go now...
(OMG! HOPE THE TABLOIDS DON'T GET WIND OF THIS.)

The Village Playground - YouTube

The Village Playground - YouTube
^^^WARNING: SPEW ALERT HIGH!
We already guessed who the Shovel
man of Appleby was before Fairy leaked

his secret identity, and I, Raj, shall appeal to him for a Shovel'Ntervention

since I am not a GrovelingPig, no, not
at all: don't hate me because I'm beautiful.


What is a bath, actually? Even mom -


"Raj, sweetie, whatcha doin' hon?"


"BLOODY OWL HORK! Now I must tell a fib and it comes so UNnaturally
to me: Nothing, mom, just um, not much, sitting idly, inactive, inert, motionless, unoccupied, gathering
dust, to tell you the truth!"


"Awww, Sweetie, see now THAT'S REALLY NICE, using those unwashed tailfeathers of yours as a duster so I can get more rest...you're the Best Pig Ever!"


"Thanks, mom, you know we do all we can to help YOU OUT around here."


"And that is why I love you. Back to
my nap, before you know it 'twill be
First Friday ART GALLERY HOLIDAY EXTRAVAGANZA and 
Lord knows I need my beauty rest..."


"Mom, is your art ready then? Ahead of time? Have you practiced that "art of preparedness, the most practical of all the practices of Art?"


ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.................

"As the Key Turns, Episode 2"

My own true love is demanding my bum be freshly done before she will even consider my Magic Carrot proposal...I'm an American cavy, we don't have manners, if we had manners, would we have thrown all that wunnerful tea off the Tea Party Ship in Boston?
Of course not! Methinks cultural and social differences need be moderated...hmmm, who to do it? Who? Who? Must think.Ommmmmmmmm....

(At least for now, having taken Eeyore's advice, I am hiding so Fairy can't even SEE my bum whilst I ponder.)

She looks pretty happy in hers...hmmm.

We have heard rumors from the Garden Elves of a
Shovel-Man who appears magically in one
of Fairy's videos on YouTube...
Perhaps HE WOULD be able to help,
'im bein' a bloke and all that.

Will you all Join me, please, to the tune of
"Have You Seen the Muffin Man" my version
called "Have You Seen the Shovel Man Who Lives in
A-Pel-Beeeee?"

{Portrait of Fairy in her bath swiped, of course,
without permission}...and the "Shovel Man of Appleby" can be seen using a link from Fairy's blog.
Please Appleal to him on my behalf of my American bum...many gracious thanks!

P.S. yes, mom really IS offline, she let me write this
up real quick now the Clamshell is SHUT again...so please don't let that discourage you.
It shall re-open!