THE SOLUTION!

'NUFF SAID!

VINNY-GUINEA DRESSES LIKE MEERKAT TO FIND A MATE!

 

{PHOTO from "Meerkat Manor" T.V. Show}

VinnyGuinea has sewn hisself a fine
meerkat costume and gone out 
-ALONE-
to do what nobody else will do
for him: find him a friend.
That he will only find a wild
meerkat who will not return
with him, well, wee-widdle tykes
don't have fully developed brains,
and we know that once he finds
true love it will only end up in
more disappointment because,
C'MON, SERIOUSLY,
how long is that taped-on
tail gonna last?
We just received another
weather alert, woke up to snow
this morning and mom HAS TO GO
OUT RIGHT THIS MINUTE TO
GET OUR FRESHIES SO
WISH VINNY-GUINEA
"HAPPY TRAILS AND
MEERKAT-TALES"
knowing we'll get back to ya
once Aunt Connie calls and 
the YAK-YAK-YAKKIN'
STARTS UP AGAIN ABOUT
THE FREAKING "ADVENTURES
WITH MEERKATS!"
Never a dull moment.
Windstorm # 8,567...and not counting.
That tale ain't gonna last long in70+mph winds...
~

MEERIS IN BAVARIA HAVE FOUR BUNNIES!

 

OPEN LETTER TO AUNTIE CONNIE: 
OUR AUNT INGRID JUST SENT US A PICTURE
OF WHAT A BUNNY IS. 
THEY ARE NOT MEERIS.
THEY ARE NOT CAVIES.
THEY ARE NOT GUINEA PIGS.
THEY ARE NOT HEDGEHOGS.
THEY ARE NOT CAMELS.
THEY ARE NOT KOALA BEARS.
THEY ARE NOT LAMBS.
THEY ARE NOT FLYING SQUIRRELS.
MOM SAID I CANNOT TALK TO YOU
IF YOU EVER, EVER TALK ABOUT
BUNNIES AGAIN BECAUSE SHE
SAID YOU HAVE "SPESHUL POWERS"
AND WHEN YOU AND ME TALK ON
THE PHONE "THINGS COME TO BE"
AND WE ARE AFRAID OF BADGERS
AND THESE ARE NOT BADGERS.
THEY ARE NOT MEERKATS.
THEY ARE NOT ANTEATERS.
THEY ARE NOT GOLDEN LION TAMARINS.
THEY ARE NOT MONKEYS.
THEY ARE NOT BEAR CUBS.
THEY ARE NOT FOOTBALL PLAYERS.
THEY ARE NOT SOCCER PLAYERS.
THEY ARE NOT PUMPKINS.
MOM IS NOT GOING TO LAUGH,
AUNT CONNIE, NOW THAT AUNT
INGRID HAS SHOWN US WHAT
BUNNIES ARE. OH! AND THAT
EASTER IS COMING UP AND
THEY WILL BE EVERYWHERE
FOR SALE FROM EVERYONE.
AND LITTLE AND SOFT
AND WARM AND LOVABLE.
AND IRRESISTIBLE.
AND THEY ARE NOT TEDDY BEARS.
AND THEY ARE NOT HUMMINGBIRDS.
AND THEY REPRODUCE
AT AN ASTONISHING RATE.


NO BUNNIES.


MOM, NO BUNNIES.


THANK YOU, AUNTIE INGRID,
PLEASE TELL MOM NOT TO
LISTEN TO OUR CRAZY AUNT CONNiElfPie,
THEY ARE NOT ELVES.


LOVE,
YOU NEVER SAW THIS.

DETENTE

 

WHAT are we gonna do about Vinny?
Dunno.
Me, neither.
Ask mom?
Eat hay?
Eat hay.
O.K.
Yeah, eat hay.
Vinny's getting his 
own BIG CAGE.
Let's eat hay,
mom's got Vinny
and he's talking to
Aunt Connie in the
bedroom so we can't
hear him...just overheard
something about being
lop-sided...bunny ears,
some kind of Easter thing?
mini-lop-bunny-Easter...hat?
But mom's Jewish. Just not practicing it.
So, let's eat hay.
Maybe it's a Passover thing?
She don't do that.
Matzoh rabbit ears?
Honest, just her name Hebrew, that's it.
She don't do nothing else.
Mainly goes to India to write and stuff.
and meditates and does yoga and listens
to Sufi music and reads mystic poets
translated from Persian...why she and
Vinny talking about lop-sided Passover
bunny-hat is beyond me! Bet that
Aunt Connie behind it, she always
behind the mischief, always!
Like they say in New Jersey:
"Ah, fuggetaboutit!"
Yeah, chomp, chomp.
Good hay, though.
Yeah, good hay. 
~
THE END.