AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR: CAVY-CARROTS-FOR-LOVERS, INC!

Something is missing from my life...

I wonder what it is as I wander in search of what I wonder about...

I dream of what my life is missing, even with my eyes open, exspecially with my eyes open, so if it comes, I won't miss it! Even my dreams are lonely...

I know what he's missing, but I ain't tellin' cuz me gots me my lady and my big, fat belly, and one HAPPY PIG is this NutPie!

Are you in here? Hello? Hello? Where are you?

Would someone please help me out?

See? Can I even eat, I ask you? Can I even eat? In Canada, you know what they would call this? They would say: "Eh, look at him! He's got "the pip!" 

Well, if he left his "pip" in my favorite snowflake hut, I'll give his pip what for! Spreadin' his pip like an infectious disease...we all know what "it" is but him!

AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR,
FAIRY-GROWERS OF THE SECRET GARDEN.
GOT "THE PIP?" WE PLANT MAGIC IN YOUR GARDEN, A SURE-CURE FOR PIPPIN' WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN GET YOUR POPCORN ON!

OUR LOVE CARROT: Universal Symbol of True Love BETWEEN CAVIES TOO DEMURE, SHY, OR DISCOMBUMBULATED TO SAY TO THE OTHER...

FAIRY, IT'S TRUE! THE MAGIC CARROT FROM THE SECRET GARDEN...

WILL YOU BE MINE?
I WANT TO SHARE MY CARROT WITH YOU AND SHARE MY HUT WITH YOU AND SHARE MY LIFE WITH YOU.
I WOULD EVEN BATHE FOR YOU...

HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!
HO!HEE-HO-HA-TOO FUNNY!
"I would even bathe for you!"
"Ah, no worries, mates, she'll never fall for it! She's a magic one, knows all the tricks o'the trade THAT GIRL DOES!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next episode of "As the Key Turns" brought to you by Cavy-Carrots-for Lovers, Inc.
Stay tuned...will Raj find Fairy receptive to his orangy overtures?
Will Fairy forgive Raj for being a cavy who refuses to take a bath?
Will they reach Perestroika?
STAY TUNED!