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Monday, January 23, 2012

Guinea Pigs Cause Massive Solar Flare

Solar flare could briefly disrupt communications
Oops, think we rowed in the wrong direction...
If your computers go down tomorrow, at least
take a look of this spectacular picture of WHY
before your jaw drops in awe at our Cosmic Powers!

THIS IS SOME SERIOUSLY COOL STUFF!

And "YES WE DID!" but it's a secret only
we can share...let the scientists argue all they
want, once we learned to "row" and generate
power, we began to recognize the massive
potential for MAYHEM and so...
Let the Games Begin and:
GO GIANTS! WHEEEK!
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

WHY MOM GOES TO INDIA



We realize you can't really see the faces or names of some of our new friends (mom in orange cap second from bottom row) in India, but when mom is stuck (and we really mean STUCK-STUCK in bed) and needs to remember that instead of falling into a depressive state of hopeless despair (i.e. needing hugs and lap time and affection from every single one of us > NOT A LOW MAINTENANCE MOM, SEE?) we encourage her to visit a site, called The Speaking Tree, where other, like-minded seeking souls are asking questions like:

*Why am I here?
*What is the purpose of life?
*Why do good people suffer? (laughing: that's her BIG favorite...oh, HELP US, we're gonna pee! Why mom suffer > She so good? OH NOW WE IS REALLY GONNA PEE, WAAAAH, CAN'T STOP GIGGLING! SOMEBODY help us!)
*Why is Oprah in India? (huh? apparently she is, as someone - oh, right, Deepak Chopra, wrote a blog interviewing her)
*Why am I on the same site as Oprah (now we are all getting lost) "MOM, TAKE YOUR MEDICINE, EAT, ST!AY HYDRATED, IS YOUR HEART MONITOR TURNED ON? HEY, GO TO BED! IT'S WAY  PAST BEDTIME!

Anyway, here are some of her friends, we don't know everyone here, but those we do know we enjoy very, very much... and have actually learned much from!
Some are serious.
Some are fun and funny.
All seem quite sensitive.
Some are young, modern, and challenging cultural traditions.
Some are traditional but understand the questions and even offer answers.
Some are quite mischievous - but you always know that once they switch from English to Hindi, mom's in BIG TROUBLE! QUITE A LOT OF TEASING GOES ON IN SEARCH FOR LIFE'S BIG ANSWERS! ELSE A SEEKER COULD GO QUITE MAD! (not anyone we know or live with, of course, just anonymous people could go mad, anonymous people we don't know and never will meet.)


No one believes mom's a girl. No make-up. No sari. Not noticeably "fem."
Many have offered a dizzying, dazzling array of "what Chana means in Hindi, Punjabi, Urdu, Sanskrit, and in cooking and military language"...(seriously, WHO KNEW?) but at least this past week while we enjoyed having "company" dismantle the apartment and life as we once knew it, mom had a place to go and friends to be with whom to discuss the T.V. Show "Lost" so she announced the new show by J.J. Abrams called "Alcatraz" which promises to be less confusing...please don't make us pee because we laugh too hard, it's not dignified.
Indeed, mom has contributed profound wisdom here...dispensing "knowledge of the ages" selflessly, such as what night "Alcatraz" debuts, info on the cast (one was on "Lost") and things that  answer THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS...
Do you readers know what the expression "Epic FAIL" means? You need to!

Mom, we know you  really, really miss Calvin and so do we... but MUST we spend THIS MUCH TIME comforting you when we all know LIFE IS REALLY ALL ABOUT US, WHAT YOU NEED TO GO TO INDIA FOR? WHEEK and DOUBLE - SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE (what say ye NOW Oprah?)
MOM, WOULD YOU LIKE A NEW, BABY GUINEA PIG TO CUDDLE?

Uh-Oh! See, now THAT question: even THINKING IT > EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF A DESPERATE GUINEA PIG'S
EPIC FAIL!
RUN! YOU NEVER SAW THIS, WE WERE NEVER HERE AND IF YOU TELL ON US WE MAY NEVER BE BACK! LOVE YOU, GOOD BYE, BEHAVE, WOMBAT, WE'RE IN FOR IT NOW!
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