Panda's First Smile

Panda's First Smile
PandaPig's First Smile!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

GIFTS...(still in editing...21st Edition now...)

 
Today was extraordinary.
Woke up and got out of bed: check!
Fed the piggies: check!
Let piggies out on Runabout, starting
with Yum-Yum and Squirrel: check!
Peter didn't destroy his rabbit pen (for once)
while Yum-Yum taught Squirrel how to 
taunt those not on Runabout 
when you ARE: check!
Breakfast, treats, lap-time: check!
Mom to walk again for first time in...
(the Crumbling Begins.)
No, no walking. A drunken stagger.
Uh. Hmmmm....then,
Yum-Yum has his first seizure since his
Joyful, Unbridled, Embracing of 
Squirrel's Arrival:
"The Crumbling" Rumbles Louder.
Mom walking? Mom stops trying,
hides under covers, weeping.
NOT GOOD. 
ANNOYS GUINEA PIGS:
"Mom, GET A LATTE AND YOUR
POLES AND GET THE ^$* OUT OF
HERE, YOU ARE 100% BUMMING
US OUT! BE GONE, WE SAY,
BE GONE, PATHETIC WOMAN!"
mom slinks out with her walker. "FINE! But if I come
home to one dead guinea pig..."
"OUT!!!"
mom leaves. goes to waterfront cafe. downs latte.
takes walker to dock, all drunk-like then the
bump-bumpity-bump of  gravel, the dock:
Annoying!
returns to Forester, gets ski-walking-poles, figures
only place to fall is down, so threatens
Gravity to not get in the damn way,
she in NO MOOD!
WALKS WITH POLES; Gravity behaves: check!
Getting better again. Doesn't rain like forecast, either.
Goes to Village Books, is handed the funniest book ever written
in the history or the world by an employee (not book's author)
who finds mom (possibly, ya think?) MORBID, then mom cannot
eat at Book Fare for laughing so hard after every sentence.
Has to actually carry food back, for first time ever.
Book Fare owner/chef so awesome an Epic FIRST not to complete
  meal, but book wins. Chef sympathizes. Said wife read book, too.
Book: Let's Pretend This Never Happened
(A Mostly True Memoir)
by Jenny Lawson.
Killer Funny.

Oh, remember that otter up there? Sees four!
Everyone is watching the river otters, quite
unusual, for they are out in the saltwater Bay,
swimming, playing, fishing, eating, and delighting
all who gather along the boardwalk dock to gape
at this unusual site! Mom discovers a group of
otters (sea or river) is called a "raft of otters"
strangers speaking different languages all gather
with eyes OPEN WIDE to enjoy The Raft play,
leap from water's surface in perfect arcs punctuated
by long tails that slap water's surface as if to say:
"HEY-HEY-HEY! IT'S RAFT-O'OTTER DAY!"
Check! Day turning to dusk and improving still...

 
A magnificently dressed woman in her eighties appears
on the dock and asks mom about the otters. She is wearing a
formal bright red hat accented by bright red lipstick, gold
earrings, stunning jewelry, and appears ready to attend a high
society ball one might read about in a Jane Austen novel.
SUDDENLY, she points to a site even more unexpected than 
rafts of otters and ladies-in-waiting:
THE SCHOONER!
It's the Galaxy, sailing from a port south into
Bellingham Bay before turning West towards
the San Juan Islands at dusk and her deck is
filled to capacity!

 
She's breathtaking! The otters disappear
into secret hidey-holes as all eyes turn
longingly towards the Zodiac while the
sun sets behind her, leaving pink streaks
across a pale blue sky beneath which calm
waters and the San Juan Islands await
her arrival.

Mom returns home and everyone is like,
"Mom, FEED US!"
DOUBLE-CHECK.
YUM-YUM is nonchalantly chewing his 
cardboard-box house which is Triple-Check 
Why? Because he is alive and happy:
It is Good.*

*Piggies however, have censored ALL INCOMING MEDIA other
than mom's funny new book and watching "The Daily Show" with
Jon Stewart and "The Colbert Report" if she behaves.
Can you blame them?
~~*~~

{No photos taken by author and publishing them may
be an unlawful infringement of Copyright Law.
Sorry.}
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An Unexpected Turn

 
YES! 
You have seen this photograph before and will undoubtedly see it again.
Yum-Yum just began seizing again.
I will write from the bone of my Pain about this
Journey so I invite those of you who don't want to
take it with us to stop reading...We can only express genuinely what feels real and authentic to us, we're not a "feel good, inspirational seminar" I promise, so only those dear ones reading here willing to witness the grief of a human who is also struggling with her own demons at this time (the drug withdrawal, the daily migraines, how to keep food down, how to stay hydrated? should I throw up in the bucket or can I make it into the bathroom? what position helps most when my stomach is screaming like a starving wolf? how to remember the need to get out of bed every day?) we are going There Now and if it hurts to read, dear friends, we do understand. (O.K. not really, until Kestra sweetly explained that I underestimate how painful it can be for those who love us to watch this and for me not to think we are suddenly alone and that nobody cares...) Thank you, Kestra.
Just one thing, let us Be who we are and Feel how we feel. Because I am no saint and losing Yum-Yum, even slowly,  really hurts. 

On my other blog "Honeyantdreaming" you can read about suddenly remembering my unborn son yesterday; I try to separate the blogs, but that line is blurring now...even I cannot always tell the difference.
~*~

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WE GOTZ A DREAM TOO: MOMMY, STOP SINGING! PLEASE...

 
DEDICATED TO EVERY GUINEA PIG WHO IS A 
SERVICE ANIMAL:
WE FEEL YUR PANE!!!

Yum-Yum: "Lil'bloke, now look here. You're doing a great job as my Blog Apprentice, but
we're an "uptown" blog and we use proper spelling and correct English when we vent here, so I hope you understand that I will be teaching you to blog like HemingPigWay, not a street urchin. Capiche?"

Squirrel: "Yes, Yum-Yum, I capiche."
YY: "O.K. Let's try it again. From the top."

Squirrel: "MOM DOES THAT!
MOM DOES THAT, SHE SAYS,
'FROM THE TOP' BEFORE SHE STARTS SINGING AND -"

YY: "Squirrel, you realize she has put my bed next to hers. You think I don't feel your/our pain?"

Squirrel: "oh. yeah. true, that."

YY: "Little grasshopper, blogging is storytelling. Just tell our story truthfully and you will have mastered the art. We all have faith in you: You Have a Dream. Just use the five W's: What, Why, When, Who, Where. O.K. now, from the - 
Just begin again with your story."

Squirrel: Nobody knows what we are going through and i duzn't know how to use periods but nobuddy knows all she does when she can't get out of bed is listen to Les Mis and try to memorize the words when she can't even spell my name because she doesn't even know "does the Q go before or after the U? I can't remember, she says" then she sings all the parts and act them out even using a dustbuster and other things like plants and she done cut her hair with sewing shears like Fantine last Janrary so her hairdresser cut in HALF how much she got to pay her now to GET HER HAIR CUT PROPER cuz that lady you KNOW THAT HAIRDRESSER don't want NOBODY seein'  mom walk in dat place and sittin' in dat chair with dat Fantine hair (cuz, seriously, she don't look like no Anne Hathaway, either) so hairgirl pleads with mom NOT TO CUT HER OWN HAIR AGAIN so we put duct tape on her art supplies if they gotz scissors and then now she trying to learn the words and have i forgotten to mention the drumming? OH, YEAH! dat what we get on a GOOD DAY WHEN SHE NOT IN BED and can sit on her yoga ball cuz her physical therapist said to but now so she singing and you know why? YOU KNOW WHY?
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH? SHE GONNA GO WATCH THE MOVIE ON CHRISTMAS cuz that what Jews do then have Chinese food (at least we sure jon stewRt said that once) and they put her in the back with the gimpy people and SHE GONNA SING WITH DA MOVIE!!!  anyone see "Inglorious Bastards?" well, it was violent but the whole movie theatre TOTALLY EXPLODES AT THE END IN AN INFERNO wid all them bad peeps and that what it gonna see m  like   if , if..."

Yum-Yum: "Do I detect budding 'James Joyce' thing happening here? We may actually have a literary genius in my wee, widdle apprentice!"

EVERYBODY TOGETHER FOR THE REPRISE:
"Tomorrow is another day and only God knows what we eat today...one more hay...one more hay....ONE HAY MORE!!!!!!!"
~*~

(the blog below contains the Trailer from the film
where, for the first time in Cinematic History, the
actors sang each part LIVE on film, while the
orchestration was added later. this gave them,
forced them, to be as real and authentic in
their roles as possible.)
Apologies Ms. A, we just discovered how unreadable green is. It will never happen
again we promise!
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Anne Hathaway Sings Like Broadway as Fantine: First Look at Les Misérables Trailer [PHOTOS & VIDEO] - Entertainment & Stars

Anne Hathaway Sings Like Broadway as Fantine: First Look at Les Misérables Trailer [PHOTOS & VIDEO] - Entertainment & Stars
^^^^^^^OMG! WE IZ IN SO MUCH TRUBBLE NOW!
YUM-YUM, TEACH ME HOW TO BLOGGER, THE WORLD MUST KNOW
WHAT WE DREAM, TOO: THAT MOM WILL STOP SINGING!