UH-OH-NO!

What happened? Who was guarding the skates?

That not mom, crazy-cavy! That's Olympic champion Bonnie Blair!

Oh, the one with the funny voice?

Yeah.

Look at the size of those quads! WHEEK!

Yeah.

Man, she ROCKS!

Yeah.

You right, LOL! That not mom! Wah, how I evah think that?

Duh! She found everything but the racing suit, though.
So, we still gotta guard things, and I may be taking a little

vacation to Wisconsin to -

TO HUMP BEA? THAT WHAT YOU UP TO & EVER-MODY KNOWZ IT,
TOO, YUM-YUM, YOU AIN'T FOOLIN' NOBODY!

So? She just got her Dream House and needs to make it a HOME!
Stud gotta do
whatta stud gotta do.

Yeah. And Bonnie Blair from 'round those parts too, huh?

Yeah.

STOP THE MADNESS!

Whatcom Speed Skating Club

Mom already downloaded team and public skate

practice schedules. We can't wheek:

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR HORKIN' MIND?"

since that train left the station a long, long

time ago.

Our only hope? That her boots won't fit.

A more realistic and sure-fire DreamKiller:

that she moves the towel from in front of

the full-length mirror and sees herself in

the "skin suit" she designed during the

Olympics in Salt Lake City in TURQUOISE.

(anybody familiar with short-track speedskating?

have you EV-AH seen ANY-ONE racing in

TURQUOISE?)

This might not be as hard as we feared.

We rest our case.

(the peeps who sewed her design must

have been ROTFL their A**'s off!)

We gonna be fine, just MOVE. THAT.

TOWEL!