Panda's First Smile

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Thursday, February 16, 2012

KD Lang sings "Hallelujah" LIVE at the Winter Olympics 2010 - YouTube


Raj is doing his best to climb onto the bed and into my lap. I am listening to kd lang sing "Hallelujah" LIVE from the 2010 Opening Ceremonies of the Vancouver, B.C. Winter Olympics because it best embodies the moment but I have posted it here many times before and they removed the video anyway.

Edwin waltzed in that afternoon without a ticket and got in. He actually heard her sing it. LIVE.

I am choking back tears.

And the meds are all in the car. I forgot to bring
them up.
And Raj chokes now and again, as if there are
goldfish swimming in his lungs...


Thank you, kd, you express what I will never
be able to. Tonight will be a long night after a 
long day following a long week in the beginning 
of a new year. Is he asking to be taken to the vet
now? Because he climbs on my lap for awhile,
waits, chokes, then slides off the bed returning
to his pigloo only to continue struggling to breathe.
I want to be sure these aren't social visits, that they
are his pleas to be released from more suffering...
One thing's for sure. I am not capable of listening
to him choke all night, perhaps not even for five
more minutes. Hallelujah. We are but imperfect mortals trying to love divinely. May that be our
worst flaw.

Anita, I am surviving on your hand-made marmalade, sent to us from England. On english
muffins and soy milk.

And the love of you all. 

Now we must go to the vet.

Good bye, Fairy. Raj loves you.

We ALL Visit The Vet: Our Last Hope For RAj

Three of us are packed into our Fancy Fleece Dinosaur Tunnel
and we are not happy about it because we have a feeling something we do not like is about to happen...although we do not know what.
Just that it is Not Good.

O.K. Now we have gone inside the elevator and we know that is not a good thing. So we have Clue #1 of the Not Good Thing.

Now our carrier is being seatbelted into the front seat of mom's 
car and we have Clue #2 of the Not Good Thing. VinnyGuinea,
our little rocket scientist, is squealing "VERY NOT GOOD! VERY NOT GOOD!" We agree and he melts in between me and Bhindi,
pretending to be invisible. We realize that is his plan and he is going to stick to it during the Very Not Good Thing because both Bhindi and I are Abyssinian with swirly fur. Raj has been at the vet all day receiving treatment...he was doing well until early last night when symptoms of severe pneumonia presented and his breathing became rapid, shallow, his eyes became crusty, and he refused his carrot juice. Mom asked him why? Did he miss his brother too much? Did he miss his herdmates too much? Had his will to live simply succumbed to his grief? He just let her hold him. He was physically the strongest he had been...he even scrambled off her bed and back into the pigloo he had shared with Taj for so long!
But his breathing was labored, and she became unsure he would last the they communed as he asked her to let him go and she listened, crying. So, today, he went to the vet for an exam and
X-Rays confirmed the worst, he was given a cocktail of the strongest possible antibiotics and some dried food to mix with water which - if he was unwilling to begin eating tonight - would cause him to die of malnutrition, for while the carrot juice had indeed kept him hydrated and alive this long he HAD to get food or would not have the strength to survive what the vet saw in his lungs and even now mom hears him struggling to breathe and may need to take him to the 24 Hour Emergency Vet by cab...

We are really, really scared for Raj...Vinny is hiding between us.

Just because I'm the new kid on the block doesn't mean I deserve
to be squooshed! But it's O.K. if this is how we "cuddle" when we are scared for Raj and one another. And we are today.

YumYum, you can give me "the eye" all you like but I'm a 
boy, know...

Today there was an unusual ad in the Bellingham Herald
classifieds that read: "LOST. MY MIND. LAST SEEN
VETERINARY HOSPITAL." So far, no one has found it.
Mom just...poofed!

Now that we're home I'm going "free range" and nothing
gonna fence me in.
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Today brings mixed news: the good news is
how much strength he has gained. He can
scurry and walk across my bed and around
his new floor area. Not to play, though,
just to get from wherever I put him down
back into the Pigloo he once shared with
his beloved brother, Taj.

The other news is worrisome. His breathing
is rapid and shallow. He is now refusing to
be bottle-fed, and despite a quiet evening
cozying up with Bhindi (which I will not
do again as I can see now that it places
not only Bhindi, but the entire herd at 
risk) he still showed no interest in
anything. I hoped watching Bhindi
chow down on the many types of
food place in his new area, 
particularly the pulp from his
carrot and wheatgrass juice,
would pique his interest and he
might join him...nada.

He is now strong enough to be taken 
to the vet to have his mouth and teeth
inspected for possible malocclusion
and we need to find the reason
for his rapid, irregular heartbeat.
He is well enough now that the
trip itself would not kill him
but if I cannot feed him or
diagnose his heart disease...

Hopefully, they can squeeze him
in today. I have yet to take a piggie in
to the vet and walked out whistling.

The good news is that Bhindi showed no
signs of having caught whatever Raj has,
thank God, and I pray he won't!
That wasn't the best call in the world,
it was a desperate attempt on my part
but not a wise one by any means
and not one that anyone - myself included -
should ever do.

Your prayers...

Many gracious thanks,

Anita, we have the buttons you made us out
and your box arrived yesterday! Will open
tonight during quiet time unless weeping.
Thank you so much, Fairy, we have never
needed your Magic more!

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