FECAL IMPACT!

Guinea Lynx :: Impaction

^^^W.H.A.T. the ^^^?!

Or, the "We Is In Trouble NOW Event of 2011."

This what mom think she gonna do, her very

first Do It Yourself project...couldn't she just make

a popsickle-stick-puppet or something artsy?

Nope, she gonna clean up places never meant
for cleaning...All 'cause YumYum got an infarction -

{EDITOR: "Impaction, an anal impacation, dear."}

Dear Lord:  RAPTURE US - NOW!

Nothing Good Can Come From This...

"Psssst! Taj, is it safe to come out?"
"She gonna get ya one way or the other, so you may as well.
Or, better yet, stay in the pigloo; more hay for me."
"No, seriously, is she around?"
"She's lying down. But it's only to gain the strength and
energy for the You Know What!"
"This is all YumYum's fault, y'know, him and his stupis
anal impactions...always had 'em, why can't she just take
him to the vet like she always does?
"Ain't got the energy, this gonna be a genuine DIY project..."
"We are in SO MUCH TROUBLE NOW!"
"Ya think? It's gonna be nasty. Worse than what she got
growing in that fridge! Even all those flies can smell it...
hasn't emptied the thing in how many days?"
"You're in denial, Taj, this isn't about the fridge. This is
all the Internet's fault, that she thinks she gonna be able to
Do This Herself!"
"Ain't gonna let her, that's all."
"How you gonna stop her?"
"I dunno yet, thinkin' about it, though, gonna find a way."
"Until you do I goin' back in. Lemme know when she AWAKENS."
"No worries, it'll be awhile."
"YumYum gonna get it now, gonna get it bad, real bad, he know yet?"
"Nope."
"Good."
"Yup."
"Nothing good can come from a Do It Yourself Fecal Impaction Procedure
at home with warm water and mineral oil, she don't even know the difference
between our...y'know...and our...y'know."
"Nope, she don't."
"She gonna find out real fast, though, don't ya think?"
"Yup! REAL FAST! YumYum loves her like crazy, but he ain't goin' for a home
fecal impaction oil & lube, know that f'sure!"
"Yeah, think he'll bite her?"
"Dunno, that was an accident. He was gunnin' for Bear the Beaver Pig and she
stuck her hand between them and got it! But he didn't mean to bite her."
"What you think he gonna do?"
"Dunno, depends...ain't gonna be nice, ain't gonna smell nice, ain't nothing nice
gonna come of it, especially cuz she read she needs to keep all our bums clean and
free of poo pieces, hay, litter, and stuff...with warm water and mineral oil and -
sigh...we is in big trouble."
"Roger that, big, smelly, nasty trouble, cuz she gonna find things back there they don't even
mention online...I know cuz I can feel 'em!"
"And that why she doin' it, my BROTHER, THAT WHY WE ALL GETTING A BUTT BATH,
likes it or not, our time is nigh."

oh my.

What Gets Me Through a Day

Dear Friends,

It's the Editor posting tonight, or early this morning, to thank all of you for your love and well-wishes here at Panda Pig's Peace Sanctuary. You probably know that I am not feeling well and that things appear to be weakening over time...my new awesome doctor is thorough and we will be doing tests a little at at time since they are pretty uncomfortable and I have only so much energy for, well, ya know:
INCOMING - ICK FACTOR TEN!

The fact that I really cannot be on the Stream is being offset by so many of you beginning your own blogs, share sites, and stuff that gives me a chance to still feel connected to each and every one of you...hoping always to at least make it to Molly Movie Night in my owlie pj's, yes, we can still wear flannel here at night - just wanting to tell you that however we continue to stay in touch means the world to me because I really need your support. And wish equally to extend the same to you. We are all in this together: MODS for Life!

I am attempting to start up two new businesses: one to support the Guinea Pig Sanctuary through cards and photographic gp art; the other to sell my own whacky "animurals" although learning my way around a website is as much fun as a colonoscopy! SQUEEE! NOT THAT I HAVE HAD ONE...but the cards come first because the guinea pigs do, so the art will just have to take a back seat until we are earning our keep at the Farm Store.

There's a weakness, pain, and utter lifelessness in my body that just makes me want to cry when I wake up in the morning only to find I am not going to be getting out of bed, the day is cancelled, but there are still six guinea pigs, four extra large cages, eight water bottles, four food bowls, hay, litter, cuddle cups, and more to clean that I can even wrap my mind around, and precious little physical strength...yet, our new ritual of cuddling in bed together at dusk, one pig at at time: man, it's so good! For all my MODS enduring the trials and tribulations of Job right now, let's stay together, laugh like the madwomen and madmen we know we really ARE, and keep the faith!

Any old way you wanna fly-by the PigPen and give us a Rosie the Riveter thumbs up is fine by us!

Love you all, each and every one o'ya's wise guy mooks in black sheep clothing.

Hidey-Ho, and away we ain't going!
Editor-in-Captivity of Pigs Gone Wild and the sequel: PigZ Gone WildeR!
(((Horks&Hisses&GuineaPigKisses)))
1Skatr