What to Get Mom for Mother's Day?

Cafe Press - featured here in a design found on a T-shirt, has a gizillion guinea pig thingies so now all
we gotta do is get into mom's wallet, find her credit card, and commence "Operation: SHOPPING WHEEEK-SPREE!"

love,
YumYum

So, maybe some of the presents WILL BE FOR US! Like, we care? Mom'll get what's coming to her, in a good way, O.K. so maybe not, whatEVAH, she loves us no matter what we do!

YumYum commencing "Special Ops Search for Credit Card!" at Zero hundred minutes and counting. Need Intel, Calvin-the-small: "Whatcha got for Headquarters, lil'SneakySmall PiggieSpy?"
Prepare to be de-briefed! (Ooooh, I just LOVES sayin' dat!)

Calvin the small: "YumYum she keeps it frozen in an ice cube in the freezer to keep from impulse shopping."

YumYum: "OH, BLOODY HORK!"
Calvin: "Roger that, Yummy, Roger THAT! But, YumYum, found a frozen cache of Kit-Kat
bars! All is not lost, nor in vain!"
YumYum: "SquEEE! I shall knight thee, Chief of Intelligence Officer for Stealth Scan of Freezer!"

Calvin the small is crying he is so happy. And small. But what is that on his lips, looks like...
chocolate?!

"Oh, That Is Too Funny To Be True! Right?"

O.K. YumYum here. Just to clear the air, y'all. We initiated Richard into the herd with a little teasing, like having
Stephen Colbert interview him - not about anything political, we're guinea pigs, who cares? - but to congratulate
him on his recent nuptials and Coconut giving birth to 10 million baby guinea pigs all named after him, but with
numbers: Richard Engel the First, Richard Engel the Second, get it?

At first he laughed in disbelief...but then Colbert had to "go to break" when they both slam-slumped upon the table sobbing...and we feel bad for our misdeeds...especially in front of a live orchestra. Audience, right.

Richard, please forgive us! We don't feel bad at all, in fact, we was laffin' till our little toes wUZ wavin' in the air IN GLEEFUL MERRIMENT!
You have married into a family of bad piggies, bad, bad, piggies and we punked ya, punked ya GOOD!

{EDITOR: ONE bad piggie does not define a herd, YumYum. Please clarify!}

O.K. FINE! I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP SINCE I GOT BORED WITH YOUR STUPIS MIGRAINE AND WE ALL NEEDED A GOOD LAUGH!

{EDITOR: Thank You, YumYum, I think...?}

WHO LOVES YA, RICHARD?
YOU KNOW!

YumYum OUT (to plan our next scandal! Woot! Woot till Toes in de'Air from laffin' so hard!)