Pigs Lie - Guinea Pig Today

Pigs Lie - Guinea Pig Today

^^^^^ THIS ENTIRE
ARTICLE IS A LIE.
WE DON'T LIE, WE
DO SOMETHING
ELSE THAT DOESN'T
HAVE A NAME. BUT
IT ISN'T A LIE. AND 
DON'T LAUGH IF YOU
DO READ THIS BECAUSE
FALSE ACCUSATIONS ARE
NO LAUGHING MATTER.
(hee-hee.)

WHAT BATH? WHO NEEDS A BATH?

Dear Fairy...yes, I sent these photographs to you in an email. Still...


We thought it might help my case to post here and solicit opinions from the United Onion of SpaPig Aestheticians of America. If anyone sets trends in cavy couture and personal hygiene it's the UOSPA! (Thinking of it as
"YourOwnSpa" makes it easier to remember.)

So...HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THIS, I ask you

EuroSpaTopians? You also like my coronet?

Oh, now you're just making me BLUSH!
STOP THAT! (not really, keep gushing until Fairy has been tucked in and then I'll pay you in
carrots, spinach leaves, cucumbers, and crunchy, peeled fresh Washington honeycrisp apples) just keep it on the "down low" if ya know what I mean...shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........

WHILE MOM IS TUCKED IN...WE SHOP!

We love mom and want to get her a special present for Chanukkah!
"Mebbe you could teach the world how to pronounce it then they would know how to pronounce her name, too?!"
"I'm just one humble guinea pig...not Moses! And I am nothing if not all about buying "stuff" lots of fun, fun STUFF!" We are spiritual pigs living in the material world and we LIKES IT!!!"

OMG! NO WAY!
COCONUT PIE, LOOK, COCONUT, LOOK,
LOOK EVERYBODY, COCONUT LOOK,
LOOK! LOOK! LOOK!

"IS IT FOOD?"

"Better than food: it's CocoNutPie, the Pie you can look at in this CALENDAR and all the money goes to help support guinea pigs! Better than food, it's -"
"Thanks, dear, you lost them at 'Better than food'...good try, though."
"Tough crowd to please, sorry."
"It's O.K. When mom feels better, she'll get me one...in fact, I think they gave her a free one thanks to me, but she's finally getting her "beauty rest" and Lord Have Mercy, we all know how good THAT is for EveryCavy!"

~WHEEEEEEEEK!~

You are all cordially invited to join us for our next installment of "How the Key Turns" which may feature a glimpse
into a certain
"Box o'FairyMagic!"
But ya didn't see it here, got that?
We ain't snitchin' cuz mom wants to surprise Fairy and her mum and her dad, the "shovel-man of Lincolnshire!"
We love our Cross The Pond friends,
so special Saturday night shout-out
to Fairy, her sisters, and her mum and dad and just so's ya know, Raj had finally agreed to the bath thingy...until he discovered that getting wet was involved.

Back to square one.

!