PSSssssT! Hey, Calvin, Hear the News?

YumYum and Calvin the small, good buddies, share the secret that Coconut and MacNutPie have decided not to have a Pirate-themed wedding after all.  Normally, they would chase one another around and around with joy together, our senior and newest herd members, but YumYum has a reputation for showing the "new kids on the block" who the Alpha Male is when mom's back is turned; so until he mellows out and experiences a RAPTURE,  Calvin and Yummy still have to share gossip and hay between their little hamster fence...turning out they's the most gossipy pigs we ever met, though, who knew?!

Well, when the world wakes up to the news, everybody gonna know!

Sincerely Yours,
Raj and Taj Mahal tattlin-- NO! telling you a story, sharing.
(Note to Self: yeah! sharing! good one...sharing.)

EVERY NIGHT...

Every night Calvin the small gets all bundled up in his special warm, fuzzy fleece blanket for bedtime stories and
snacks with mom. They lay in bed, Calvin in his blanket, mom under the covers, until mom is almost asleep, and
Calvin already IS asleep with mom's hand usually under him or holding his bum or snuggled beneath his long,
tubular snout...he fusses because mom wakes him up when returning him to his cage but soon settles back down
into his cuddlecup while mom returns to hide under the covers with the memory of his warmth soothing her to sleep.

While Their Owners Sleep...

...nervous little Guinea Pigs prepare for their day. Nice job with the white-out, Jerry!
And that looks exactly like our kitchen: How DID you know? LOL!

P.S. if you ever visit The Great Pacific Northwest(ern Washington State) nevah,
EVAH call it an EXpresso machine! Or an EGGspresso machine, you birders out there.
To our utter mortification, a person visiting from Eugene Oregon did that and thus,
to this day, we have NEVAH, EVAH visited Oregon.  Nor will we.

Thank you.
P.S. also we don't use umbrellas, which we call "bumbershoots" dunno why, really.
Oh, but you CAN wear un-matched wool socks with sandals in the winter.
Dunno why, really, dreadful on men. They betta already be married cuz only
a banana slug would date THAT. And mo-

{EDITOR: "DON'T. YOU. DARE!"}

Meant, and Maggie our fave-oh-fave Airdale Terrier.
Not ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, MOM, HOW MANY TIMES WE GOTTA SAY IT?

(whew, close call, that!)

UH-OH, GLAD WE ISN'T WEDDING PLANNER...!

DEar MerryFanny,

{EDITOR: "COCONUT?!"}

Dear MerryF-

{EDITOR: "COCONUT!"}

DEER MARXIST M---

{EDITOR: "COCONUT?!"}

Hey You WeedNplanR,  Whaddya mean @#$^%*^?

{EDITOR: "Coconut, sweetie, look at this beautiful, fresh yellow bell pepper!"}

SQUEEEEEEE! nom-nom-nom...nom-nom-nom...ommmmmm.

note to mariFUN: we doesn't have tails, sometimes it gives us
a wee, widdle attitude...what can we say? Thank you for the dignified,
genteel chupa wedding you planned for them. Please do not feel
discouraged! We LOVE YOU.

Since I WAS NICE,
P.S. please send all carrot-top accoutrements Fed-X for us to ea-
NO! what i meant was "in case they change their mind!" yeah, right, THAT.
in cASe they change their mind.

sincerely YOUR biggest FAN,
YumYum

Pirate Career Counseling

You will have to enlarge the image of the Pirate designated as Captain Marry-Us because if he chooses another career we are back to Square One, Take 3: Just keep LIVING TOGETHER ALREADY:   AARRRGH!