"Hey, Pssssst...Calvin! We got it all figured out, see, well, YumYum did and then he told us to spread the word! We gonna do a "Guilt Surge" like remember "strategerie" from the Bush II War Planning Days? Ya, see it goes a little something like this: if she don't get outta bed today and clean our cages we all start whining in our most pathetic: "Don't cry for us, Argentina" voices and she feels so guilty we get her into the fridge and out with more sumptuous treats! Gotta give that YumYum his props, he can really work that mom!"
COMMENCE SPECIAL OPS PHASE 1:
Calvin: "Squeeee. Squeee. Nobody loves me..."
Raj and Taj: "Can you bring it up a few notches?"
Calvin: "How about a song to the tune of Don't Cry for Me, I have Mommy?"
"They eat guinea pigs in the Andes...
But we are so lucky to be here...
Our mommy loves us so,
Her actions tell us so...
And when she FEEDS US...
WE KNOW SHE NEEDS US..."
Raj and Taj: "Yeah, that good! Yeah, keep it up, lil Calvin, maybe a higher octave..."
Calvin: "That'll really hurt her head, guys."
Raj and Taj: "Oh. We would NEVAH want you to do that!"
Raj and Taj scurry off giggling and pointing to naive Calvin with their front toes,
and he hears the rest of the herd (except Coconut) rolling over on their backs in
maniacal laughter.
Which also means their new comb-outs will contain more dirt that resembles mites...
This could backfire on them. STAY TUNED TO "When Bad Pigs Go Badder!"
