MEET YOUR EDITOR: PANDA-PIG!

"AFTER A HARD DAY'S WORK: CUDDLE TIME FOR PANDAPIG!"

Hard at work, writing, editing, doing all the photography: it's only me in the newsroom and much to do!

               Mom gives me a surprise foot massage because I've worked so hard on the blog this week!

                 Now, just melt into the warm embrace of a soft, fleece blanket while mom lulls me to sleep...

PANDA PIG MOST DEFINITELY OUT! SWEET DREAMS, DEAR READERS...SWEET DREAMS.

WE GLIMPSE YUM-YUM'S SECRET DREAM

YouTube - Kung Fu - grasshopper dialog

YUM-YUM, CLOSE YOUR EYES, WHAT DO YOU HEAR?

"I hear...
the  refrigerator door...
opening.

I hear
a plastic bag...
containing fresh, sweet carrots.

I hear mom placing them on...

the cutting board to slice for me,
I mean, us.

I hear myself,
break the Silence:

"WWWHHHHEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkKKKKKKKKKKKKK! CARROTS NOW!"

PANDA OUT. why bother?

YouTube - Bruce Lee in Kung Fu

YouTube - Bruce Lee in Kung Fu

Dear Readers,

Before we politely embark upon our newest journey, "KungFu -YumYum"
and get all philOsOphical on you, please consider this video: We offer it with sincerity.
(OK. Not really, but it's hilarious.)

It is an imaginative look at what the 1970's series (created by Bruce Lee in real life)
would have looked like if Bruce Lee, rather than David Carradine, starred in the lead role.

We place this before you as our interpretation of YumYum's earnest desire
to embark upon his own Kung Fu journey, using Jackie Chan's remake of "The Karate Kid"
as his inspiration, so that he will become - hee, hee, sorry, this is sooo hard to take
seriously - a Kung Fu master who Only Uses His Power for Good. (Keep in mind the
coincidental timing: he saw me blog about mom's secret plan to have him neutered for
continuing aggressive behavior towards Bear. Good timing, Bucko!)

Excuse me just a moment, please.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: BURSTS OF LAUGHTER APPEAR IN BACKGROUND, SQUEALING, AND BEAR's EYES APPEAR TO BE TEARING UP FROM LAUGHING SO HARD. BEAR, WIPE YOUR EYES AND PIPE DOWN! I'M WRITING!)

Gentle reader, we invite you along as we journey with our little herd-mate on his quest for perfection.

We will begin posting videos, photographs, and flashbacks from YumYum's memories of his
past life as an un-neutered Shaolin Guinea Pig under the venerable masters Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee,
and Master Po.

The truth is, only Pink Mouse, who lives next door with Chin-Sun-Kitty, could teach our little brother.
But, since we may have to move, YumYum is reluctant to begin a memorable apprenticeship that
has little chance of lasting a lifetime. That part, we admit, is sincere and most noble of him.

So, please enjoy the links to very short episodes in the life of "The Littlest KungFu Guinea Pig."

Thank you and we wish you all a pleasant evening.

PANDA OUT.

(STOP LAUGHING, BEAR, WE NEED TO BE SUPPORTIVE! HA-HA!)

YUM-YUM DREAMS OF REAL KUNG FU

YouTube - Watch the new THE KARATE KID Trailer in HD

"Everything...is Kung Fu," says YumYum's idol, Jackie Chan, in this upcoming release of the new
"Karare Kid" remake.

"Life will knock us down. But, we can choose to get up!" Wisdom from One Who Knows:
Jackie Chan TOTALLY ROCKS! Always has, always will. He's the Real Deal.
Seriously. In real life, not just movies,  Jackie and Kung Fu are One.

WHAT UP? you ask.

YumYum read the blog I wrote this morning on the possible future of his manhood.

"If I was a Shaolin monk! But not this! Not NOW! NOT YUM-YUM!" he proclaimed
(albeit, somewhat squeakily) his voice saturated in a conviction we never knew he had.

Mom took notice.

She used to practice kung fu. She and Edwin once trained with Bruce Lee's first student
in Seattle, Jesse Glover. She listened.

"Yum-Yum, does this movie represent your secret dreams?
Dreams we never knew you had?"

"Everything is Kung Fu!" he squeaked.

"Then learn the lesson, which is when NOT to use violence, and I will reconsider the
neutering," she quietly told him in front of us.

"Learn from Jackie. I'll give you time, Little Grasshopper, I understand. Ok, well, maybe
I don't really understand since no one has ever threatened to neuter me before, but --"

"MOM!"

Oh, right, this is about you.

"BUT,  kung fu is a way of life, not a way of fighting! Jackie knows it. Bruce Lee taught it.
YumYum, have you ever watched "Kung Fu" on TV? I met the actor who plays Master Po,"
mom continued. "Back when I was just 17 years old, and maybe a little bit runty,
like you. In real life, Keye Luke (Master Po) appeared poised, lovely, and gentle,
yet one sensed the internal power of one who had spent a lifetime cultivating his Chi.
Cultivate yourself,  Little Grasshopper. Stop acting like a  runt.
Flow like water, and your manhood may remain intact!"

BOY, WAS THIS NEWS TO US! Mom really surprises us sometimes.

Will Jackie's new film turn Baby-Rambo into a Kung Fu expert?
(EDITOR'S NOTE: we took a vote. uh, maybe not.)

Well, we don't know where YumYum came up with all this Kung Fu stuff.
But the movie looks like a whole lot of fun, and we know mom has always
adored Jackie Chan and watched all his early Hong Kong kung fu movies
maybe, like 50 times!

What we did not know was that she has respect for even
YumYum's capacity to learn. To Learn Anything, Much less kung fu!
He knows what opening the refrigerator means.
He knows what "No, YumYum, DON'T! LEAVE BEAR ALONE!" means.
The refrigerator he respects.
Mom's threats...not so much. Until the "neuter" word came up
this morning.  He's selective, that YumYum, about what he appears to understand.

Bear and I will be accepting wagers: keep it clean. organic produce only, please.

Let the fun begin!

PANDA OUT!

CONGREGATING AND CONVERSATING

Dear Readers,

Have you ever seen a group of elderly men at a coffee shop, just sitting
around the table, talking about things
on their mind?

Back in Iowa, mom said the men would be farmers, in overalls, wearing John Deere hats with the slogan "Runs Like A Deere" (mom even had one) and they would say:

"Humid out."

"Yup."

"Could rain."

"Might."

"Gonna rain tomorrow, weatherman says."

"Yup."

"Maybe not."

"Humid, though."

"Yeah it is!"

Then each man would sip his coffee, lean back in his chair, and sigh, knowing a long, hot, humid day awaited him in the fields.

Well, mom said we remind her of that. Because "certain pigs" still cannot get along without supervision, yet we all  love herding together, mom has configured our cages so we have a "meeting place" to gather, eat, and conversate amongst ourselves. In truth, we plan Mayhem. It unites us to have a Cause.

"Looks like lettuce today."

"Maybe.

"Could be a carrot, or a yellow pepper."

"Nah, had that yesterday. Gonna be apple."

"I don't like apple skin." (NOTE FROM EDITOR: Panda's apples must always be peeled before they are deigned Worthy.)

"Doesn't matter, mom always peels yours anyway."

"I like apple peel."

"Yeah, think we'll get a Runabout today?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe not."

"Dunno for sure."

"If we want, we could get one. Yum-Yum, you could start ripping your cage apart in a fit of mania. That always works. Mom worries you've gone Postal and lets us out so you can discharge all that energy..."

"Could do that, Panda. Might. Ya think?"

"Yeah, we think," said Bear the Beaver Pig.

"O.K. Just as soon as she gets home, "Operation Crazy-Pig" takes effect. YumYum, you be the CrazyPig."

"Why do I always have to be the crazy pig?  I don't even get credit for being the Crazy Pig."

"We support your efforts, YumYum, always."

"Yup!"

And thus, plans are hatched democratically by the "Herd that Hears."

AND, WHEN WE HEAR Mom, we deploy our mischief with gusto, glee, and feigned innocence.
Like: "Poor mom, having a piggie like Yum-Yum. Now she's gonna have to let us all go Runabout!"

Yup. And she will, too.

We love each other and mom.  And we love scheming together as one herd in our special gathering place!
It Unites Us to have a Common Cause: FOOD, FUN, AND MAYHEM! Then snuggling with mom.

Even when it's humid out.

See Ya! Mom's peeling apples in the kitchen, gotta go!

PANDA PIG OUT!