Ever since mom's buddy-pal Susan had her first grandson one year ago and then
Eric had his beautiful baby girl last month, mom has been on this "maternal
mental health breakdown" where she suddenly wants to hold a baby in a blanket
in her arms on the bed and just snuggle. Who gets to stand in as the baby?
Will give you ONE guess...
HOLY HORK-CHOPS, ROBIN, WHERE'S BATMAN? I am, admittedly, one stunning golden
swirly beauty of a piggie and definitely the gentlest, most considerate snuggler,
given my heroic efforts not to pee on mom or the "swaddling blanket" but I must
fulfill my destiny as a LionessPig by roaming the apartment stalking elusive
migratory heads of crispy romaine lettuce, bright orange carrots, fresh wheatgrass,
cucumber, yellow bell peppers, kale,... because I am a hunter, a discoverer
of the most hidden sweet and juicy fresh, organic vegetables! For the herd...
all for the good of the herd. I am not only gorgeous and Oh-S0-Soft, but heartbreakingly altruistic at heart.
Please, won't you support my efforts to "be me" and send mom something, anything, that is warm, cuddly,
and
will not pee or hork on her. ("Vote For Molly" straight jackets will also be considered.)
MoSt GrAtEfulLy yOuRz,
Erica
