NO! NO! NOT GUINEA PIRATES?!

Dear Sir Dominic, we are sincerely sorry that the following link frightened you so! Your mom, Ann, never told us you had a
"GIANT GUINEA PIRATE" phobia or we would never have shown that. (yes we would) and we are all contrite with shame (no we're not) so please ask your mom for a glass of warm milk with honey and a dash of fresh cardamom, then to tuck you in with her tonight and play some nice music like Wagner's Ring Cycle, especially the Valkyries. That'll soothe you. Meanwhile, please come back to visit us again because we need to give your mom back all your "Glee" dvd's...we're "Gleeks" too and are so happy to have you on our team. Dom, again, we will not display anything resembling Giant Guinea Pirates ever again, we promise (no we don't)
















PANDA PIG APOLOGETICALLY OUT! (no i'm not)

WHAT MOM'S NEW BOOK SAYS: DEBUNKED BY FOLLOWING DOCUMENTARY

South Park Episode Player - Pandemic 2 - The Startling

Today mom got a little booklet from the farm store about guinea pigs while stocking up on all our supplies, plus a few new toys. The first sentence:

"Guinea pigs, also called cavies, are the most gentle of all household pets. They are very placid, and almost
never bite or scratch."
by Bradley Viner "All About Your Guinea Pig"

Although I posted a few excerpts from "South Park" yesterday, after reading
that sentence aloud to us, bursting into laughter, and throwing down the
book, mom requested I post the episode in its entirety. I have complied: Watch and learn.

GUINEA PIGS, GUINEA BEES, GUINEA RATS, GUINEA RABBITS! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!

(just don't tell anyone) We have a placid reputation to keep up.

PANDA OUT!

NAUGHTY LITTLE THING

This may just appear to be an innocent photograph depicting YumYum
watching Bear walk away. And a gentle reader might assume YumYum
misses his friend.

WRONG!

Read on to learn the ugly truth behind this innocuous photograph
because I am finally ready to expose secrets of the herd you have
never read before: This is the beginning of YumYum's Great Revenge.

And it isn't pretty.

Bear just doesn't know that yet. But he will. Oh yes, he will!

PANDA OUT (AND ONLY WARMING UP!)

REVENGE OF THE LITTLE PIG!

Gentle Reader, take a good look. You see YumYum climbing intently into Bear the Beaver Pig's cage.
WHY?
THE NEXT POST EXPOSES THE UGLY TRUTH BEHIND WHEN GOOD PIGS GO BAD!

WHEN GOOD GUINEA PIGS GO BAD!

Gentle Reader,

For months I have honestly tried to portray our herd as one blissful,
loving family.

But, frankly, I have HAD IT WITH THESE TWO!

You may as well know that these photographs illustrate a hostile
standoff between the alpha-male by virtue of size and age, Bear
the Beaver Pig, and the little upstart with a big attitude, YumYum!
This is dangerous behavior: chattering loudly with their teeth, getting closer and closer to one another, until one will actually charge the
other, ready to do some serious damage.

YumYum appears to have lost this standoff, but what you do not
know, dear reader, is that he climbed immediately into Bear's
cage, carefully dismembering Bear's favorite boxes and toys with
attention to being as destructive as his little teeth and toes would
allow. He broke Bear's favorite "turtle box" (the low box with
holes that he pokes his head through then walks around carrying
the box on his back like a turtle) and then YumYum peed his own
"house blend" of scent, marking Bear's cage as HIS! He peed, he
pooed, he sprayed the scent of a vengeful little punk ALL OVER
Bear's Favorite Things. No accident, this behavior!

Then YumYum ate his food, drank his water, and made a mess of
Bear's favorite hay pile, the one Bear likes to hide under while he
grazes contentedly at bedtime.

Mom had to completely clean, wipe and wash down Bear's cage to
remove YumYum's vengeance. Although, admittedly, it beat the
last few times when she stuck her hand between them...and bad
things happened. Now she uses a dish towel or oven mitt to break
up their Stand-Offs. So, even though it appears Bear won this
round, one has to wonder: did he? Did he really?
Can't we all just get along?
Sigh...
PANDA OUT!