Things Your Guinea Pigs Want You To Know
We wanted to share this information for those of you
wondering why we are the way we are making mom
be the way she is. Because she is our slave and no
amount of denial will convince otherwise. Humans
think they know stuff. They get a guinea pig. Then
they find out they really need two guinea pigs for
one guinea pig to be truly happy. Then those two
guinea pigs conspire to overthrow the human
government by enlarging their armed forces!
Then the human tries to neuter us to disarm us
but all we do is continue drafting new orphans
"too cute to resist" and after enough neutering,
we became a "don't ask, don't tell" Force openly
enlisting female cavies to strengthen our cause.
When we still felt we could do more to overcome
our human's habits and train her to cater to our
every whim, we finally brought in the "big gun"
Calvin, the small, our first un-neutered male!
Mom pulled out her white flag and surrendered!
BOO-YA! We have discovered strength in diversity
and want to share our little secret with any species
whose person or people still have a life of their own:
THAT AIN'T RIGHT! WE ARE THEIR LIFE, AND
NOBODY AND NOTHING ELSE can distract them...
oh, sure, last summer there were these barn owls
ya, but we not only watched them with mom, two
of us learned how to mimic Molly the Owl and,
although it can happen that occasionally one will
enjoy the companionship of a female cavy capable of
mimicking bird sounds, Taj Mahal is male! And we
forgot who else did it. So, Molly and McGee was an
experience shared by all. Otherwise, mom don't get
none...we advocates not through legislation, phooey!
We are not democratic, we are Czars, Kings, Queens,
Royalty. If you know THAT, you know EVERYTHING
YOUR GUINEA PIGS WANT YOU TO KNOW!
Peace Out,
YumYum
