Panda's First Smile

Panda's First Smile
PandaPig's First Smile!

Thursday, February 16, 2012


Raj is doing his best to climb onto the bed and into my lap. I am listening to kd lang sing "Hallelujah" LIVE from the 2010 Opening Ceremonies of the Vancouver, B.C. Winter Olympics because it best embodies the moment but I have posted it here many times before and they removed the video anyway.

Edwin waltzed in that afternoon without a ticket and got in. He actually heard her sing it. LIVE.

I am choking back tears.

And the meds are all in the car. I forgot to bring
them up.
And Raj chokes now and again, as if there are
goldfish swimming in his lungs...


Thank you, kd, you express what I will never
be able to. Tonight will be a long night after a 
long day following a long week in the beginning 
of a new year. Is he asking to be taken to the vet
now? Because he climbs on my lap for awhile,
waits, chokes, then slides off the bed returning
to his pigloo only to continue struggling to breathe.
I want to be sure these aren't social visits, that they
are his pleas to be released from more suffering...
One thing's for sure. I am not capable of listening
to him choke all night, perhaps not even for five
more minutes. Hallelujah. We are but imperfect mortals trying to love divinely. May that be our
worst flaw.

Anita, I am surviving on your hand-made marmalade, sent to us from England. On english
muffins and soy milk.

And the love of you all. 

Now we must go to the vet.

Good bye, Fairy. Raj loves you.


  1. Just wanted to let you know that if there is ever a comment you want to delete, (from anyone) just go to the little trash can icon with that comment and click on it.

  2. sending love ...
    much love ...
    more love.
    only love.
    raj, dear raj ...

  3. We all send our love too, I am sorry . . . . dear Raj, you did you best . . . we love you so much and Fairy is whispering her love right into your little ear xxxxxxx