GIFTS...(still in editing...21st Edition now...)

 

Today was extraordinary.
Woke up and got out of bed: check!
Fed the piggies: check!
Let piggies out on Runabout, starting
with Yum-Yum and Squirrel: check!
Peter didn't destroy his rabbit pen (for once)
while Yum-Yum taught Squirrel how to 
taunt those not on Runabout 
when you ARE: check!
Breakfast, treats, lap-time: check!
Mom to walk again for first time in...
(the Crumbling Begins.)
No, no walking. A drunken stagger.
Uh. Hmmmm....then,
Yum-Yum has his first seizure since his
Joyful, Unbridled, Embracing of 
Squirrel's Arrival:
"The Crumbling" Rumbles Louder.
Mom walking? Mom stops trying,
hides under covers, weeping.
NOT GOOD. 
ANNOYS GUINEA PIGS:
"Mom, GET A LATTE AND YOUR
POLES AND GET THE ^$* OUT OF
HERE, YOU ARE 100% BUMMING
US OUT! BE GONE, WE SAY,
BE GONE, PATHETIC WOMAN!"
mom slinks out with her walker. "FINE! But if I come
home to one dead guinea pig..."
"OUT!!!"
mom leaves. goes to waterfront cafe. downs latte.
takes walker to dock, all drunk-like then the
bump-bumpity-bump of  gravel, the dock:
Annoying!
returns to Forester, gets ski-walking-poles, figures
only place to fall is down, so threatens
Gravity to not get in the damn way,
she in NO MOOD!
WALKS WITH POLES; Gravity behaves: check!
Getting better again. Doesn't rain like forecast, either.
Goes to Village Books, is handed the funniest book ever written
in the history or the world by an employee (not book's author)
who finds mom (possibly, ya think?) MORBID, then mom cannot
eat at Book Fare for laughing so hard after every sentence.
Has to actually carry food back, for first time ever.
Book Fare owner/chef so awesome an Epic FIRST not to complete
  meal, but book wins. Chef sympathizes. Said wife read book, too.
Book: Let's Pretend This Never Happened
(A Mostly True Memoir)
by Jenny Lawson.
Killer Funny.

Oh, remember that otter up there? Sees four!
Everyone is watching the river otters, quite
unusual, for they are out in the saltwater Bay,
swimming, playing, fishing, eating, and delighting
all who gather along the boardwalk dock to gape
at this unusual site! Mom discovers a group of
otters (sea or river) is called a "raft of otters"
strangers speaking different languages all gather
with eyes OPEN WIDE to enjoy The Raft play,
leap from water's surface in perfect arcs punctuated
by long tails that slap water's surface as if to say:
"HEY-HEY-HEY! IT'S RAFT-O'OTTER DAY!"
Check! Day turning to dusk and improving still...

 

A magnificently dressed woman in her eighties appears
on the dock and asks mom about the otters. She is wearing a
formal bright red hat accented by bright red lipstick, gold
earrings, stunning jewelry, and appears ready to attend a high
society ball one might read about in a Jane Austen novel.
SUDDENLY, she points to a site even more unexpected than 
rafts of otters and ladies-in-waiting:
THE SCHOONER!
It's the Galaxy, sailing from a port south into
Bellingham Bay before turning West towards
the San Juan Islands at dusk and her deck is
filled to capacity!

 

She's breathtaking! The otters disappear
into secret hidey-holes as all eyes turn
longingly towards the Zodiac while the
sun sets behind her, leaving pink streaks
across a pale blue sky beneath which calm
waters and the San Juan Islands await
her arrival.

Mom returns home and everyone is like,
"Mom, FEED US!"
DOUBLE-CHECK.
YUM-YUM is nonchalantly chewing his 
cardboard-box house which is Triple-Check 
Why? Because he is alive and happy:
It is Good.*

*Piggies however, have censored ALL INCOMING MEDIA other
than mom's funny new book and watching "The Daily Show" with
Jon Stewart and "The Colbert Report" if she behaves.
Can you blame them?
~~*~~

{No photos taken by author and publishing them may
be an unlawful infringement of Copyright Law.
Sorry.}