Panda's First Smile

Panda's First Smile
PandaPig's First Smile!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

An Unexpected Turn

You have seen this photograph before and will undoubtedly see it again.
Yum-Yum just began seizing again.
I will write from the bone of my Pain about this
Journey so I invite those of you who don't want to
take it with us to stop reading...We can only express genuinely what feels real and authentic to us, we're not a "feel good, inspirational seminar" I promise, so only those dear ones reading here willing to witness the grief of a human who is also struggling with her own demons at this time (the drug withdrawal, the daily migraines, how to keep food down, how to stay hydrated? should I throw up in the bucket or can I make it into the bathroom? what position helps most when my stomach is screaming like a starving wolf? how to remember the need to get out of bed every day?) we are going There Now and if it hurts to read, dear friends, we do understand. (O.K. not really, until Kestra sweetly explained that I underestimate how painful it can be for those who love us to watch this and for me not to think we are suddenly alone and that nobody cares...) Thank you, Kestra.
Just one thing, let us Be who we are and Feel how we feel. Because I am no saint and losing Yum-Yum, even slowly,  really hurts. 

On my other blog "Honeyantdreaming" you can read about suddenly remembering my unborn son yesterday; I try to separate the blogs, but that line is blurring now...even I cannot always tell the difference.

Posted by Picasa


  1. Seizures may be unexpected where pigs are concerned, but Yum Yum is no spring chicken... er... pig. I would think problems would be expected as he ages? I know I sure have more problems as I get older, some expected, some not.

    Good luck, Yum Yum.

    1. Thank you. It just means that he is "only a seizure away..." and that is something i have to now adapt to...your kindness is appreciated. In me they have not been fatal, in guinea pigs they quite often are, yet he STILL continues going about his business once it is over, even chasing lil'Squirrel after breakfast! Maybe he just wore himself out or felt scaring the * out of me, who knows? He does have a sense of humor. Otherwise, one would never know he is ill! Quite amazing, resilient, and frankly, more like Buddha than I will EVER BE!

  2. I wish there was more that I could do, but I can only send healing energy, & tell you I love you.

  3. tHANK YOU, that's always a welcome gift, Catherine, we ACCEPT!