Bear's Beaver Teeth

Whenever mom opens the fridge door, we all run out of our houses squealing for whatever is in it but the loudest one of all is Bear, who grabs the bars with his big old teeth and shakes so hard his whole cage rattles! One time he pushed his snout so hard in between the bars it actually got stuck and mom had to stretch the bars apart so he could pull his head out. Relieved, he did the exact same thing again.

Mom asks us sometimes exactly how much of a learning curve we have? We became silent, thought about it, then squealed so loudly and insistently she fed us double kale plus carrots! Whose learning curve isn't very curvy NOW?!

MEET PANDO: NOT JUST ANOTHER PRETTY FACE

Dear friends,
This lovely gent is my twin cousin, Pando, an international correspondent for NPR (NoPigsleft to Rescue) or something...they shared an office with NPR in Philadelphia and one day he was to be interviewed by the indomitable Terry Gross, who we consider the finest interviewer in the world, NOBODY SHAKES UP TERRY GROSS, NOBODY!

Usually, Terry interviews her subjects by phone. But since they share office space, her interview with Pando was in person. Terry showed up, sharp as a tack, unflappable, ready to hit Pando with some tough issues facing guinea pigs in the world today, controversial questions she hoped would reduce him to helpless stammering. On Air!

Pando took his seat opposite Terry and, with 30 seconds before air time, casually turned around, plucked a fresh, moist poo from his bottom, and began sucking on it loudly in front of her. With 12 seconds left, he swallowed the poo with a satisfied grunt, then gave Terry a "READY TO RUMBLE?" look.

Terry gagged, started having dry heaves, then, let's just say what she did next short-circuited the soundboard she sat poised in front of.

He remains the only interviewee ever to drop a "shock and awe poo-bomb" ruining Terry's composure only seconds before a live interview.  NPR  pulled out an archived talk with Quentin Tarantino while Terry regained her composure and changed into clean clothes before returning to her now spoiled, stinky soundboard.

Pando leaned back and said, "I've got just one word for you, doll, just one word: COPROPHAGY. Do it all the time, look it up, smartypants."

Pando has been transferred to an obscure hamlet in the British Isles where he was to report on conditions for cavies "Across the Pond" in his commentary entitled "Across the Pond."  Unfortunately, he and Dylan Moran met in a pub (we'll definitely save THAT story for later) and have been best mates ever since, which cannot be a good thing.

Nonetheless, we will publish Pando's salty commentaries and even give up space for Dylan,  the human equivalent of Pando (have you seen the guy's HAIR?!) in future postings.  So, that's all for now.  We never know exactly where Pando is or what he's up to.  And that's a good thing.

ONE OF OUR FAVORITE PLACES

These beautiful waterfalls and old stone bridge are about 20 minutes down the trail through the woods past the beaver pond and the salmon stream from where we live. We are lucky piggies to live in the Pacific Northwest! Know what's really funny? When we hear songbirds at our feeder during the day or a barred owl hooting at night, YumYum starts giggling! Seriously, then he tries to conversate with the birds and makes lots of giggly sounds because they make him so happy. We listen and it makes us laugh, but quietly, so as not to disturb him or the birds.

We're just simple, natural pigs who love it when mom goes for walks because when she comes home she is hungry, opens up the refrigerator,  and it's all "WHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEK! WHEEK! WE WANT! WE WANT!" from there. We know the specific sounds of her fridge, the veggie bin drawer opening, the plastic bags rattling and what's inside of them, and because guinea pigs have such acute hearing mom can never pretend she is knitting once that fridge door opens. And, she cannot knit. We love nature!

rECYCLED DRYER DOOR: GREETING TO 3 BABY ORCAS, 2009

Mom's Art

Sometimes when mom gets a real bad migraine and starts drawing she can't stop. She calls it "migraine art" but it helps her feel better. She was told by a gallery curator that she was an "Outsider Artist" and he showed her work. She later discovered that it meant she was probably insane, obviously self-taught, quite likely from the deep South, and had no formal exposure to mainstream art in Western culture. Since we love mom and won't reveal how many of these are true...you can decide for yourself! When she draws she gets real quiet and we usually just take a nap, but sometimes we watch, then chew new designs on our cardboard boxes. Art is FUN!

EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER!

The other day, mom's best art/spiritual friend, am, observed that she had always imagined that guinea pigs were just little animals who sat in bare cages doing nothing. We love am and when we heard this we realized how many other people must think the same thing-- HORROR OF HORRORS! And we know why...that is how we are depicted in the media and in petstores and on boxes and bags of pet food, the image of, oh, I can't go there again. Much can be said about today's media and how we guinea pigs are depicted, but my cousin, Pando, is an editorial commentator for NPR (NotEnough Pigs Rescued) and he gets pretty worked up about the subject so we'll save that for him. He will be featured in the near future.

Meanwhile, get a load of YumYum's digs: a loft with a ferret sleeping bag, a soft square house, a cardboard box to play with and chew on, his water bottle, food bowl, salt lick, tons of fresh timothy hay, and behind and beneath his loft is his special hiding place that nobody knows about except him. One day mom put a nice microfleece fabric in his soft house since it was cold but when she looked for it later it had disappeared. That's how she discovered the "Secret Garden." YumYum had pulled the microfleece out of his soft house and secretly stashed it in his Luxurious Secret Hiding Place. He has an image to keep up as a "tough guy" with the mohawk running down his back and that top notch on his head and he cops an attitude that he's Big & Bad. But secretly he's still a baby who loves to cuddle and he made his secret garden soft and cuddly -- and SECRET!

As you can see, however, he defies the common misconception that we sit, unmoving, poker-faced, staring into space in empty cages. And we hope that if you have a guinea pig his cage will be full of enrichment to stimulate his wildest imagination! AND that's just the cage...wait till you see our "Runabout" area - it's FUN on top of FUN!

YumYum Yummy!

YumYum lucks out getting all the wheatgrass to himself!  Life is good, even for a little piglet.

3 Guinea Pigs: One Wheatgrass - UH OH!

When a runabout includes one wheatgrass and 3 pigs...a little skirmish is bound to happen because Bear the BeaverPig wants the whole crop for himself. He's already got a big butt (he's the one with the big butt) so we  protect him from himself by standing our ground. Or... let him chase off Wee Willie Winkey (my nickname for YumYum) so I can jump out of my box and claim it all for myself, wheeking "PandaPig the Conqueror! King of the WORLD!"

We Create Abstract Art!

Our favorite thing to do is play together outside our cage, especially when food is involved. Sometimes we get carried away. O.K. we really don't care. We run, play tag, turn our boxes upside down, race through our "Pigloo" (Mom cut an extra hole in it so we can run through it and if anybody is resting in it they get run over.) We really don't care. Runabout is a carefree time and we think this is reflected in the careful composition of our latest masterpiece, "We Really Don't Care." Why should we? MOM cleans it up, not us!

"The Love for All Living Creatures"

"The love for all living creatures is the noblest attribute of man."

Charles Darwin said this and we pigs all know it's true. What he did not say is that being loved BY unwanted little furballs (US!) is the greatest joy in mom's life. She was very lonely before we came along to keep her amused, laughing, giggling, and loved!  She calls us "The Pigolletos" when we play so hard she stops whatever she is doing to join the fun!  Which will THEN include FOOOOOOD, too! We don't call the littlest one "YumYum" for nothing! 


"wheeeeek!" And there goes mom to the fridge!


We share everything with her and she often whispers into our tiny, floppy ears: "Well now, it appears that the one who really got rescued here is ME!"

So, now may we introduce the newest pigolleto:  "Bear, the BeaverPig," rescued on Christmas Eve, 2009. Given up by his owners for being old, fat, unhealthy, and simply not worth caring for, Mom came home on Dec. 23rd and told us, "An old guinea pig smiled at me today. But he is already 5 and your lifespans are only 5-7, and he is sick and has been neglected for a very long time, maybe always. What I mean is, he might not live long. What do you think?"

YumYum wheeked: "SAVE HIM! WE WANT! WE WANT!" and I hopped up and down with glee.
"This might be more like guinea pig hospice, y'all, he really isn't in good shape. But he does deserve to experience love before he goes, especially over the holidays and New Year, I suppose..." mom mused.

"ARE YOU KIDDING WHY HAVEN'T YOU ALREADY BROUGHT HIM HOME?" YumYum and I squealed: "GO GET THE LAD!"

Mom called her rescue friend and asked if she was crazy or should we bring a dying pig into our home. "He smiled at me," mom explained. Her friend kindly said, "Then it sounds as if he is already in your heart, sweetie."

Mom sighed, brought him home Christmas Eve, and then there were 3.

And she was not alone during the holidays. And SHE did not feel sad. And Bear grew silky and healthy and affectionate, and taught us all really fun tricks to do with boxes and hay and stuff he had taught himself during his lonely life to keep himself amused and hopeful.

He saved us all. And now we are 3. We love Bear, the Beaver Pig and he loves us all right back!

Until One Has Loved an Animal...

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." - Anatole France

Townwend and Chai, my best friend, did lots of cuddling until Chai finally found the perfect spot next to her on his favorite blanket and the two became one.

THIS IS THE ORCA THAT LOVES TO DRAW WHEN MOM IS NOT LOOKING!

CLOSE-UP OF MOM'S ART

Did we mention YumYum wants to Speedskate in the 2010 Olympics?

Mom said only to say nice things about each other so I mean this in the nicest way EVER,  but YumYum has freakishly long feet; that's how he can climb and jump in and out of his (AND OTHERS') CAGES!

THIS AFTERNOON, YumYum speaks in his outdoor voice:

"I WANT! I WANT!" he's screaming in glee that his long rabbit-feet and toes might fit into mom's speedskates and he could represent the Guinea Pig Nation at the 2010 Winter Olympics.  So, he's begging mom for a chance to try them on!

"You'll just eat the laces," said she, pointing to OtherThings Bitten which destroyed her electric blanket and the strings that makes the blinds go up and down and- well, you get the idea.

"WHEEEEK! WHEEEEEEEEK!" he insists. His voice can get shrill and hysterical if he feels unheard.

"Dear Yummy, you little funny thing, the sun has gone down and I am tired and don't much feel like playing anymore with your long feet or those long teeth (that story we'll save for later, real real later)...so, why not ask me again in the morning, OK?"

"What? What? What did she say? What does that mean?" he is chatting and chutting up a storm.  I better go chew my cage bars now and distract him.  Bear is playing turtle with the low-lying cardboard boxes in his cage and I'll tell you all about the "Turtle Game" when I introduce Bear, the BeaverPig.  Meanwhile, keep your long toes and teeth away from mom's skates, Yummy, because if you eat her laces she might get menopausal and we'll never hear the end of it then!

Did we mention YumYum wants to Speedskate in the 2010 Olympics?

Meet YumYum! Youngest member of "The Herd that Hears"

Gentle Readers,
In time, you will be meeting all those who belong to the "Herd that Hears"...because we are deep listeners with acute hearing.  Meet young YumYum learning a new thing.  Mom helped YumYum by encouraging him between giggles, "You can do it, Yummy, YOU CAN DO IT!"  finally he did and now he can get in and out of his cage all by himself and he is so proud to be YumYum!  We love him.  He has a top-notch and a mohawk running down his back so he thinks he's "all that and a bag of chips" and acts all cool until he gets nervous and scared then starts squealing like a baby pig...not yet a Big pig, no longer a Little pig, he's in that awkward phase. Bear and I tell "Yummy" stories and giggle when we think he doesn't hear us.

The Rainbow Inside

Dear Kind Readers,

Today the sun came out and we piggies went "WHEEEEK!"  all morning for attention, love, and food!  Bear the Beaver Pig is the only one who actually loves lying in that warm sun but we love it because mom gets happy and plays music and dances and it's when we get to have our way, that's what we do when mom is happy.  So, sun="WHEEEEEEK! WHEEEEEK!" and mom danced to Rufous Wainwright singing "Hallelujah" from "Shrek" and she cried feeding us because sometimes she feels God smiling when she tends to little ones and then she just bawls her eyes out in joy.  Sumpin' wrong wid dat lady but she's mom!  And we love our sunny days! Blessings to all and may the sun light the way for all your little feets and toesies as we journey through Life, so beautiful.  Thank you, artist/spiritual friend of ours with the blog TALKING 37th DREAM WITH RAINBOW (RUMORS OF PEACE) for playing "Hallelujah" because that's mom's favorite song and "Shrek" is OUR favorite movie! WE ARE ALL OGRES: "WHHEEEEEK!"

How I Looked at First Rescue

When I first came to my forever home, everyone called me a "rasta pig" and they'd ask: "WHAT IS THAT?" and mom would say, "a guinea pig!" but nobody believed the hair so she gave me a haircut one day and now she loves haircuts and I don't mind as long as she keeps a carrot in her lap on the haircut towel.  I was one wild piggie back then, hangin' with one wild cat, and we had crazy fun together!

Missing my boy, Chai, a Bengal!

Today I missed my first friend here, Chai.  He's a Bengal cat and used to try to lick my wild coiff but my fur was so long he didn't know what to do, so he'd just hang out and tell me how to get what I want from Mom.  He lives down in Seattle now with his girlfriend, Sami, a wildish she-devil princess tortoiseshell.  He can't lick her hair, either, or she'll hiss at him.  I like YumYum and Bear and we hang out and wheek together, which is cool, but you can't beat a Bengal and Chai was my first real friend.  I miss him and know Mom does, too.

Mom communing with clouds at Artist's Point on Mt. Baker, WA.  We like clouds.  Wheek!

U.S. Speedskating Finds Savior In Stephen Colbert : NPR

U.S. Speedskating Finds Savior In Stephen Colbert : NPR

Follow the US Speedskaters on their journey to victory at the Winter Olympics where guinea pigs will not be allowed to compete but we're good sports, we are, and would look a bit strange in lycra and will eat our hay while cheering! 

US Speedskating

US Speedskating

STEPHEN COLBERT MAKES U.S. OLYMPIC TEAM!

GOOD EVENING FROM CAVY OLYMPICS COVERAGE COMING DIRECTLY FROM MY CAGE NEAR VANCOUVER,B.C. in another country

Who are we? you ask.

We are: CAVIES FOR COLBERT!  

Mom was a short-track speedskater once, actually a short-track slow skater, but she tried.  Honest.  Her coach could never think of a nice thing to say, so he told Mom that she was "an elegant skater" which she always thought was really reserved for figure skaters and she was definitely not figure skating...so she wondered.  And skated. Very, very slowly.

During the Salt Lake Olympics she was inspired to design her own speedskating racing skinsuit and she did and someone made it for her.

But it is turquoise because that is her favorite color.  It did not look very sporty, but then, she wasn't very fast.

Which brings us to NOW.  Mom is too sick to skate but Stephen Colbert saved the U.S. Speedskating Team and in this episode races long track superstar Shani Davis for the last spot on the team after Shani called Stephen "a jerk" and mom said none of us can call each other that word.  She also said I can't tease Bear for being constipated.

So, in this link, Stephen Colbert races Shani Davis (the fastest speedskater in the world) and you can see for yourself that he should have raced Mom instead.  She said Bear is not constipated but that older guinea pigs can get impacted, which is why she had me neutered, but since we just adopted  Bear on Christmas Eve and he's already five we will cope somehow.

In the meantime, we are counting down every day until we go to the Olym- WHAT?

We aren't GOING? Mom said we'll have to watch it on the laptop because the border will take so long for humans we don't know how they would do a full body scan on Bear since he's constipated, I mean "impacted" and they might not want to let him poo in Canada, even at the Olympics.  That does not sound fair but we are all rescues and used to life not always being fair.  We believe in love and affection no matter what, and cheering for our superSkaters, and for Stephen Colbert, new assistant psychologist for the US Speedskating Team! Go Shani! Go Stephen!  And Bear, please go on a regular basis so Mom doesn't have to do "helpful" things to make it easier.

No one ever wants to discuss these things.  That's why I have a blog of my own.  GO TEAM! GO BEAR!

 







 

Hulu - The Colbert Report: Wed, Jan 20, 2010 - Watch the full episode now.

Hulu - The Colbert Report: Wed, Jan 20, 2010 - Watch the full episode now.

Help Support Animal Rescue in Haiti

Look up Best Friends Animal Society!

Animals Need Rescuing in Haiti, too.

When I worry, my hair looks like Mom's. She said people are good and will help the guinea pigs and all the animals in Haiti. The good people, like at Best Friends Animal Society are getting ready and waiting to go! Please send love and prayers to every animal in need of rescue so that we will have a world where no one is forgotten, no matter how large or how small, whether furry, feathered, scaley, slimy, swimmy, or maybe no one has ever even discovered some of our species, like in the rainforests! We all need love and love you, each in our own special way. Some of us might look scary (like me on a "bad hair" day) but we have beautiful souls inside.

Please Help Animals in Haiti

Dear Readers, Mom is helping me write this. I am thinking there must be guinea pigs and lots of other animals in Haiti waiting to be rescued. Best Friends Animal Society is organizing rescue as soon as possible.  There is need for volunteers and donations.  There is a backlog of aid waiting to enter the country but they are preparing.  I feel very sad for all those suffering and ask you, dear reader, to consider what you can do to help.  A prayer is always a good start...

Haiti has Animals, Too

www.followapolo.com

gentle reader, today mom discoveredmy blog! she has been sik since Yum-Yum bit through her right hand an it go so infected day almost put mommy in the hosptal so i thought she wont know i got her laptop but BIG OOPSY!

SHE CACT WRITE WID HER HAND IN A CAST but she say "Panda, my boy,you have done a goog job here, now i don't know how to do this but our art friend doed. would you mind if we ask her to help?"
"I goin' to da OlympiS! I gwon to day Olymps! WheaK! WhhhEaaaK" shouted YumYum.
mom not mad at Yummy for bitin her but still she take a verrry deep breath before esplaining for the ten thousanth time, "no, YUMyum, you are not going to the Olympics. The Olympics are coming HERE, but,  actually they are going to be in 
Vancouver, Canada,dear, across the border where little furry ones cannot go.  We don't have tv but we'll watch "The Colbert Repor" because he'll be there."


Mom used to speedskate.She likey Mr. Colbert.  She got us hats. pins, and speedskating magnets!  She only show the pins but WE LIKE! WE LIKE! 


sHE said,"So, Panda, When my hand out of cast let's learn how to blog, ok with you?"


"I LIKE! WWHHEEEEAAAK! WHEAK! OLYMIS! wNNER oLIMPSES!"


nOTe from Edtor; SINCE THIS IS pANDA'S blog, do nOt expect any better ThAn this."  I give him full artistic freedom for his own creative self-expreession ands0 that is DAT!"


"OLYPISES IS COMIN AND WE LOVES APOLO ANTON UH-OH!"

 (reference:Ohno,American short-track Olympic speedskater)


mOM gwon see surgeon now so we gonna train for 2-pig luge and make umiforns for skeltom-slide, cavy-stle!)

"Wheeeeek!"