PIGGIES SCREAM "OH, NO!"

Slideshow | Apolo Ohno over the years | NBC Olympics

SO, we're all hacked into the final 1,000 meter men's short-track when the screen goes blank and mom starts saying naughty, naughty things to whoever keeps blacking out the hackers right before the premiere races start.

Seriously, naughty words.

She's on the phone with Edwin because he is in Seattle in front of a television and, because NBC is gaga, he cannot watch the race live, even though he is only hours away, in the same time zone.

Mom's naughty words work, and the screen flashes back on as they are introducing the skaters. Two Koreans, two Canadians, and our hero, Apolo.

She watches the race with Edwin on the phone and it starts out with Ohno in gold-medal position behind the two Canadian brothers, Ohno starts passing, and it appears the two Koreans are going to be left in the dust.

Not.

Then a melee on the screen and mom starts SCREAMING "NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo!" as the two Koreans pass everybody, one of the Canadians pushes Ohno, and it looks like a melee, an imminent crash...

Then mom says lots more naughty words.

Then her friend Ann calls, watching it live on Camano Island and mom takes the call, loses Edwin, whose cell phone battery has died, and the two scream and shout that at least Ohno got bronze and made Olympic history.

Personally, as a guinea pig, I think Eric Heiden's performance at Lake Placid is Epic. Not to mention Bonnie Blair, and especially the heroic story of Dan Jensen! But Ohno did good, he did real good. And all those other things happened before we were born. We just heard about them on  GPSN (GuineaPigSportsNetwork.)

People can be inspiring. We might share the other stories with you later. Mom might let Yum-Yum see her skates and sit in them if he promises not to chew the laces, the leather, pee, or poo in them.

Mom just changed her mind.

Humans can be inspiring.  And they can baffle us.  It's all part of the fun, I guess.  Panda Out!