Panda's First Smile

Panda's First Smile
PandaPig's First Smile!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Guinea Man WHA?!


Mom: I am very disappointed in almost all of you for teasing YumYum about having GuineaManBoobs because I expected us to all celebrate that, without certainty, we were at least informed they don't think he has cancer! Deeply disappointed. You know who you are.

MacNutPie: Mom, we know you are also on a nutritious diet to help regain your own strength and a renewed sense of well-being so, just outta curiosity, what did you eat yesterday to stop crying and calm down that was healthy?

Raj: SHE GOT TWO SLICES OF PIZZA!
Taj: "TO GO!" ONE FOR LUNCH AND ONE FOR DINNER, WE SEEN 'EM!
Coconut: "I thought she was eating gluten-free vegan chocolate cake with berry frosting?"
Raj & Taj: "THAT TOO! MOM YOU IZ SO BUSTED!"

Calvin: If I may...I was there when the biopsy was done on YumYum and never saw any GuineaManBoobs, he has tumors in his mammary glands and his lymph nodes and aspiration biopsies are never 100% so let's be kind, shall we?

Raj: What color came out of the mammary gland thingy they did?

Calvin: It was an unusual white, milky substance - "

Taj: Unusual for a GUINEA MAN cuz that breast milk! He..like ready to nurse! WAAAHHH!
TOO FUNNY, OMG, i just kill myself i so funny sometimes...sigh...
i iz too funny even fur me, ha-ha! ah, sigh, guinea-giggle-giggle.

Mom: STOP IT! It was NOT milk, it was fluid and they didn't even biopsy his lymph nodes
so STOP IT and be nice. He is in a lot of pain and the pharmacy is creating a special gel to
rub on his ears to relieve his pain...which, by the by, is prednisone which, by the by, has a
reputation for making patients aggressive, like The Incredible Hulk, so y'all might wanna
put a lid on it, cuz he could GET YOU AND YOU KNOW IT!"

Calvin: Mom?

Mom: Yes, dear?

Calvin: Can we watch "Iron Man" again tonight on your computer? I lurved it!

Mom: Sweetheart, I sent it back to Netflix already but we could watch the new
"Star Trek" movie, well not really new, but we haven't seen it.

Raj: Cuz William Shatner's man-boobs so big they wouldn't even let him BE IN IT!
Taj: That true. Leonard Nimoy got a cameo but not William Shatner and he got real mad.
Maybe he had a prednisone patch on his ear, too.

Calvin: Whose ear? Mr. Spock's ear? The pointy ones? He got an Incredible Hulk patch like YumYum getting?

Taj: Yeah, to fight the Klingons!

EnTIRE hErD: "Ooooooooooh."

Mom: "So, barring any extraordinary ambient downtown crime sounds and police in the building chasing criminals, tonight we will celebrate all of us and watch "Star Trek" and be happy, no more teasing, O.K. guys and  Pretty Miss Coconut?

Coconut: Mom, what did you have for breakfast?

Play time over, back into your cages for naps!

guinea-man-boobs, guinea-man-boobs, guinea-man-boobs...

Mom: STOP THAT!

Everybody but Calvin and YumYum: "We are chanting."

Mom: that is not an acceptable mantra! How about: "We love YumYum and Calvin" for a mantra,
if you insist on chanting?

Raj and Taj begin munching on hay, Coconut hides in the cardboard box house she is also consuming,
MacNutPie curls up in his cuddle cup for a nap, and Calvin fell asleep after hearing"Star Trek" movie tonight.

Mom is now free to leave the building.
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