The TUNNEL!

"Mom, what dis? What dis? Not the carrot, DIS THING?"
"GIMME da carrot, please..."

"HOLY HORK-PIE, BRO'S, THIS LOOKS SPOOKY, LIKE SOME KINDA HALLOWEENY THINGY! ANY CARROTS LEFT? ALL I SEE IN THERE IS YOUR POO!"

HA! HA! HA! LOOKS LIKE "FAT ALBERT" THE SCAREDY-PIG STUCK IN THE WRONG TUNNEL! LIKE WINNIE-THE-POOH! HE BETTER RECONSIDER THAT NEW THINGY!
WAAAAH, SQUEEEEE, HE SO FUNNY!

You didn't have to laugh at me like that, but, FINE,
I'll reconsider my options from the OUTSIDE!

Then solicit solid Intel from Secret Agent Raj Mahal,
code name Secret Agent Raj Mahal...
"So, buddy, whaddya think o'dat new tunnel thingy?"

"Hmmm, me thinketh thou shalt get thyself to a nunnery while I stake my claim on the Tunnel for MYSELF! CAPICHE?"

"Oh, YEAH, Baby, OHhhhh YEAH! THIS ONE FINE PLACE FOR A SECRET AGENT, CODE NAME,RAJ MAHAL!"

"EXCUSE YOU? Just cuz I's a girl don't mean I not a contender! Get OUT, you nasty thing. This tunnel is so soft it obviously meant for pigs of delicate persuasion and discriminating taste."

Hmmm...OH, How I love being me.

HEY, I SAID GET OUT,  WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND,  oh lovely Raj. You look especially dapper today, by the way, in case I neglected to mention it during tea, dahling.

No hope. Why try? They just laugh at me like I have no feelings, but I do have feelings and right now I feel hurt,lonely, sorrowful, and - do I look fat in this? Thanks, didn't think so. Wait a minute, I have a plan!

I have thunketh uppeth Oprah's Next Big Thang!

"Finally~ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

"Uh, Drrrr....huh? WHAT? My head getting squashed! Owwie!"

"Hee-Hee, Hi-Ho, And Here I go! I am MacNutPie and shall not be publicly dishonored! I will be in the Tunnel and stake a claim upon It for myselfeth! 
Raj, hope you have an escape route! Hidey-Ho,
bro, it's time to go! Muah-Ha-HAAh!"

"Raj, Raj? I can't hear you? Are you still in there?"


Silence. 


"MmmmRrrrmrumph...maybe, kinda, sorta, dunno really..."

HA! PATIENCE COMES TO ALL WHO WAIT.
OR, IF YOU WAIT FOR PATIENCE THou'z TUNNEL DOTH COMETH FORTH-WIdTH WELCOMING such Luxurious FLEECE...or, just:

HOORAY FOR ME! SquEEEEee!

The End!