VET TALK, AGAIN? SERIOUSLY!

Well, she at it again! Fortunately, it Saturday and the vet closed or we would be there by now even though she barely able to get her own carcass out of bed! She thinks I had a seizure or "neurological event" and now that woman got tears in her eyes...such THEATRICS!

True, she was sitting, comatose, in her big blue, stuffed chair and heard a large THUD! from the bedroom. Usually, it means either one of the Mahals or Coconut has somehow managed to knock a water bottle out of its holder, no easy task...not this time.

It was me and it frightened mom. I was standing up on my hind legs with my front feet HIGH on my bars staring into the Mahals' cage, unmoving. She had recently trimmed my toenails so knew I hadn't gotten stuck because of that but I didn't move when she came in, didn't even blink. She thought I looked frozen! I was stiff, in shock, havin' a seizure, a stroke, such a vivid imagination, that one!
Mom pried the bars outta my stiff toes, still without any movement, then held me against her, and I finally began to move...she then placed me in Calvin's special blanket in his special kitty bed and gave me a piece of the banana she was mushing up for a meal...and found out the vet closed and she could only contact them online...knowing that the emergency vets "on call" only do more harm to guinea pigs because small "exotics" require VERY, VERY different care than cats and dogs, donkeys, and goats. So, there is no one who can help, and even the vet up North closed at three and she not well enough to drive that far today. Nobody till Monday.

So, now she carrying me around like a Baby Bunting and I feel so lousy I don't even mind. Her and me today, looks like...and her stupis crying. She trying not to by...well, she betta try HARDER!

But, since I AM THE CHIEF ALPHA PIG, BLOG EDITOR, AND ONLY REMAINING ORIGINAL PIGULA FROM THE "ART FARM GUINEA PIG NATION" back on the Wildlife Refuge, I have made provisions for the possibility that she might freak her freak.

Yes, inspired by Duke Donald and the Hooligans, this HooliPig been up to some o'my very own shenanigans! Must teach herd while able. This week outDID MYSELF, seriously, some epic WRONG-DOING on my part and could I BE any prouder? Methinks NOT! Read on, to see how, even in the (only "Possible" remember!) Twilight of my years, I remain UNEQUALLED AS A
HOOLI-PIG-PIRATE!