~DEDICATED TO AUNTIE CONNIEeeeeeeeee,
IN NEW JERSEY~
I don't know why no one wants to play with me,
eat with me, sleep with me, or live with me anymore.
Mom loves me. She made me a special cage
and soon I'll have a grown-up cage that will connect to the
other cages if they'll have me. Why won't they have me?
We all lived together once.
I don't understand life.
Neither does mom.
So now she's my best friend.
She listens while I talk.
Even Auntie Connieeee could hear
me the other night over the phone cuz
I gotta lot to say and Auntie Connieeee
is my godmom cuz she named me
(before mom even thought of getting me)
cuz of Auntie Connieeeeee said,
you need a VinnyGuinea and mom said
"Shut up! Shut up!" cuz Auntie Connie's
so cool cuz she lives in New Jersey where
everybody's named Vinny and she makes
mom laugh so hard and mom curses like
a sailor when she talks to Aunt Connie cuz
everything Aunt Connie sez comes true no
matter how many times mom says
"Shut UP! I'M NOT LIST'NIN TO YA!"
then falls outta her chair laughin' so hard.
So I was wid mom while she was talking
and Aunt Connie heard me but it's O.K.
cuz you should hear lil'LJ over at Connie's
when he starts barking he makes this sound
like somebody comin' at him wid a butcher
knife CUZ HE'S HAPPY! CUZ ONE O'HIS
PEEPS IS COMIN' HOME, GUESS THAT'S
THE WAY THEY DOES IT IN NEW JERSEY.
I LOVE AUNT CONNIE, SHE WANTS ME
TO HAVE A WIFE,
AND MOM TELLS HER TO
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" SO LOUD SHE
OUTTA HER CHAIR AGAIN...
Can't even tell ya the really funny stuff...
Guess no wives now that we can't get our trotters fixed.
I wish mom would call Aunt Connie tonight.
What is time and why is it different in New Jersey?
That vexes me.