life influences art and art heals life.
YumYum seen it all so I asked him to explain why
so much of our new real estate now under "development"
and he said "Go to the developer and see if she
has a permit." So I did. "Mom," I says to her, "You got
a permit to be movin' all this stuff from your bedroom
into our living room? We finally got things just so now you
kinda messin' wid it and Bhindi and YumYum wanna
know why so they sent me to find out whatUp?"
Then she shared a quote by John Lennon:
"Life is what happens when you are busy making
She said every so often she would become super ill
and lose more (what her visiting nurse called "Vertical")
Square Feet then replace it
with Horizontal Square Feet in the form of art.
It was a technique she learned from the art therapist
she saw back when Edwin had cancer.
She discovered how healing it was just to touch
things, not draw them, but to touch and glue-gun
and squeeze, sew, and play with very raw, natural
things she found in nature to represent a
primordial Silent Scream of Grief inside that
otherwise had no other "civilized" way out.
Yesterday she had to organize cards again
because - yup! - already coming up on First
Friday Art Walk- and SO MANY photographs
reminded her of...what all came flooding back,
especially the ones she never even had a
chance to say good-bye and "I love you" to...
AND SHE COULDN'T STAND IT.
AND SHE WANTED A CHAIN SAW.
AFTER THAT SHE STARTED HAULING EVERTHING
THAT HAD BEEN IN THE BEDROOM (CUZ IT BLOCKED
THE HEAT VENTS ONCE WINTER CAME) AND SCREW THE CARDS, SHE SAID, SHE WAS GOING TO START AN
ENTIRE SET OF SHIELDS CALLED:
"TORN BUT NOT BROKEN"
and just make the most popular cards because she's glad
they sell but they don't represent how she feels now.
(truth is, the ones of Calvin and MacNutPie sell best
but making them hurts too much, that's the real truth.)
I asked if it meant no more runabouts for us?
She said she'd make a way for us to have it all
and if we chewed stuff it would only lend a stamp
of "authenticity" and she'd even call it "performance art"
and charge more for our contribution but could we
please refrain from peeing and poo-poo-ing on it?
I said that, on behalf of all three of us, we would refrain.
(OF COURSE WE WON'T BUT,
HEY, WE'RE GUINEA PIGS, NOT PICASSOS!
That's a funny word, isn't it? PICASSOS, PICASSOS!)
Mom can't think, drive, find anything, count money,
can't hardly type, falls and crashes all over the place, just today
her walker, full of groceries on the seat, fell into a pothole -
along with a bag of groceries and then mom flying across it -
she drops what she's holding all over the place, looks out the window, then has SO MUCH FUN PLAYING with us and
keeping up with her friends on our blog. Even her friends
in India are reading it and one is watching a live owl cam
with her son and got so excited she emailed mom in Hindi,
she was so excited about...mmm, er....we have absolutely
A former (we thought) friend, back when things
were the worst with the herd dying and mom's emergency hospitalizations and the medical contraindications still undiagnosed contacted mom but instead of asking how she was or what was going on, or could the friend help in any way stunned us all with one email: "You are too broken to be my friend, I already have 2 broken people in my life and I don't need any more, do not contact me again. Ever."
Didn't know about hospital. Never asked.
Didn't know about our beloved guinea pigs dying. Never asked.
Didn't know how close mom came to dying. Never asked.
Just: You sound pretty busted up, get outta my life, I don't
do "busted up."
Mom sick on the outside but she ain't touched by
no bullying on the inside. She kinda gets all
"Dirty Harry" like when he says "Feelin' lucky, punk?"
She even trained in martial arts a long time with Bruce
Lee's first student and best friend in Seattle, Jesse
Glover, for real! With knives and sticks, cuz Bruce
was little so he was all about pre-emptive strikes being
lethal. But now mom all peace-peace, gotta put Bruce
and Dirty Harry on the back burner. (Chain saw!?!)
Ex-"Friend" inspired these new shields mom gonna make:
in hopes of speaking tru"power" to the BEAUTIFUL ONES
who promote cruelty and prejudice against
we broken ones, human, animal,
fish, whale, harp seal, guinea pig, dormouse,
dolphin, or bird with broken wing: we all have a
choice: to turn our backs on one another or lean
down, pick one another up, hold our
brothers and sisters, love each other as our very own, compassionately, without rewards or recognition, simply
because that is the most humane part of being human.
WE is beautiful just the way we are!
Today when mom fell in the pothole, a fancy car was coming
and she thought it was going to run over her. When it stopped
she thought it was going to help pick her up but it turned
around and drove away. Coming towards her was a raggedy,
homeless, soaking wet, man with one eye and one hand.
HE HELPED HER! TRUE.
To all broken ones suffering in the Silent Unloved,
these shields are dedicated.
To all broken ones whose wings get fixed
and then take flight to seek like-hearted
souls also in need of fixing...
these shields are dedicated.
The pretty person said broken is too ugly to be in it's life.
The one-eyed, one-handed person reached out that one
hand to help mom up and pick up all her groceries,
pick up her walker, and make sure she could walk
home. He didn't have much but he had his humanity.
He will never know it, but he will also have his own shield.