I AM AN ANTEATER, PROCLAIMS CAVY!

"Calvin, you are not an anteater, you are a guinea pig."
Calvin: "Nuh-UH!"
YumYum: "Uh-HUH!"
Calvin: " ? "
YumYum: "perhaps, with some fairy dust, ONE DAY..."
(hee-hee, got a real humdinger here, LOL! Geez-A-Loo!)

And thus, Calvin never became an anteater.
The end.

PRECIOUS, DARLING CALVIN

Calvin was more "thrust upon us" than sought after..for we had just lost Erica, and were grieving,

not in the mood to "replace" her...just wanting to get through the loss while supporting younger Coconut, her best friend. They arrived here as a pair...and then there was only one.

But the folks at the Farm and Feed Store actually saved this little rescue for us because they knew he was special. Mom was like, you've GOT TO BE KIDDING! And yet she went home and dutifully pulled the GuineaPigMobile into their Loading Zone where they already had lil'Cal locked and loaded, awaiting his new life!

To keep mom from changing her mind (which they knew she would not really do) the employees executed a rapid-deployment maneuver to get Calvin, his cage, his hay, his pellets, his supplies, and everything into the back of the old Forester before she even had a chance to put on the parking brakes! Away she drove with a little, underweight, four-year-old abandoned piggie named Calvin.

Well, the folks at the Farm and Feed Store nailed this one! He is total love. When mom comes home he actually races out of his pigloo to greet her like a doggie, waiting to be petted, fawned over, and loved, loved, loved. He was apparently not raised with other cavies and is not aware that he IS one. He is not particularly interested in the rest of us guinea pigs and only has eyes for mom.
He is the first rescue about whom mom has said, "He was once deeply loved by someone."
The rest of us never had that...before coming here. But he is different. Abandoned, yet so willing
to love again!

All of us adore him. He is so gentle, so kind. But he only has eyes for mom. He kisses her softly with his little pink lips and loves being kissed back. So do we, of course, but as Raj Mahal puts it: "no goodies, no kisses; although I'd be happy to bite ya, mom! Wheek, yeah, TREATS! LOVE YOU."

Mom got herself a bargain: Instead of saving him, Calvin saved us all from the heartbreak and grief we each experienced after losing Erica. And to give Calvin a super-large cage (the one he came in was completely unacceptable) mom asked MacNutPie if he would be interested in co-ed living with Coconut...he was! And so was she, lonely without her Erica, so "the Mac" was warmly welcomed  into her sad cage, which turned it into a Happy Cage for Two again!

All because of Calvin. We call him Calvin, the small, because he is the littlest cavy in the herd. But his heart, OH, that is so big it shall remain nameless because of its size: limitless!

And we love him: Calvin brought healing, joy, playfulness, whimsy, silliness, and laughter back into our grief-stricken lives. That is the power of Guinea Pig Rescue: they rescue their rescuERS. We all have, mom says, but we know she has a real soft spot for the one who loves to kiss her irregardless of whether he receives a treat in return: he loves for the sake of Loving. Maybe we all can learn from Calvin the small, whose heart embraces all!

Yours,
YumYum

CEREALLY: ENUF ALREADY!

The Tribe convened and the Tribe agreed that "we haz had it & we is moving" and dis is where we going.
Anybody know where it IS? Looks BRIGHT so we likes it.

Now: who gets to tell mom...we not even unpacked from moving one year ago...hmmm....who, who?

YumYum: "Oh, Calvin? CALVIN!..dat lookz like a sunny place to raise vegan cheezebirders, now go tell mom we iz movin' dere!"

Calvin the small: " ? "

YumYum: "be like NIKE: JUST DO IT!"

Calvin the small: " ? "

we not movin' is we?
HORK'N'DESERT!

Emphasis on "DOODLE"

MacNutPie is proud to present mom with the best Mother's Day Present EVAH! No more bedtime cuddle-cup cleanup duty for her!

We retract the previous announcement.
Doodie for mom. Still.

MacNutPie: "I wuz so shure. SO shure!"
YumYum: "Of course you wuz, widdle NUTpie, of course you wuz."
MacNutPie: "MOOOOoooooom!"
mom..."donuts 4 all! donuts 4 all! yeah, THAT'S IT!"
Calvin the small: " ? "
Raj Mahal sniffs air. "No donuts 4 all, whatchoo talkin'Bout, ma?"
Taj Mahal: "where my after-shave, who took my after-shave?"
mom: "donut man took it, know he did, just know it!"
Calvin the small: " ? "
and a happy mother's day was haddled by all.
thank you.
bye.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY from the NOT Sunshine State of Mine...D.

Dear MODS, friends, compatriots, & You GO, PacMan (if you follow boxing, which we piggies do, because PacMan is the most generous humanitarian, like, EVAH, besides the best boxer in the entire WORLD! More than just the Kentucky Derby yesterday, Peeps! 'allo, 'allo, we loves PacMan)...uh, donut holes, where were we?

Oh, OH! um, no: of course the sun didn't come out but one day, a long time ago, in a universe far, far away it DID! and we have photographic evidence, see, because when i emerged from my special sleeping bag to sun my widdle toes (press pic for close-up of widdle toe-tappin')somebody with a lot of nerve and verve snapped this!

Oh, did that sunbath feel good...we wonder now (because it is already May, 'allo!) if it was real but we doesn't have Photoshop so, looks like it real: Sunbathing Tribal Elder-Chief of PigZ caught during rare moment of CHILLAXATION by some paparazzi! Where was Brangelina that we gotz paparazzi instead of pizza? Seriously, something not right, not right...
Happy Mother's Day from the NotEvah, NEVAH GonnaBe, Not Now, Not Tomorrow, Not-evah-sun-
shine state of mind. COME ON, SUN!

love,
your boy lollipop
 
P. S. not that we watched Pacquiao's fight last night because
we eschew violence, of course, but Calvin has requested we change
his Title from "Calvin the small" to "The Calvinator!"

who loves ya, Baby?
BESIDES "the Calvinator?"

Kilkenny Cat's New Camera

Our dear Kilk is wowing us with her first photographs using her new camera and we took the liberty of cropping her
precious Chloe for an abstracted close-up of one of our favorite friends.
She beautiful, or what?
Check out the way she uses her legs and paws to cover her face and the symmetry of dark markings on her face and tail. You can even see her black paw pads brushed softly by the tip of her tail.
How precious, Little Chloe curled up in dreams, her own dreams...

WeThinks that Kilk and Gizmomma starting a new revolution of Women Visionaries whose perspective of their world
as captured through their lenses and enshrined into our hearts will enrich us all.

Thanks, Kilk, and thanks, Giz, and thanks to all of you photographers out there whose shared vision gives us an extraordinary glimpse into a world we would otherwise never have experienced!
What a gift you and so many other MODS share so generously! Happy Mother's Day!

Mom's Visit to the Doctor Yesterday

Dear friends,

Yesterday, mom drove down to Mt. Vernon to see her favorite rheumatologist in the whole, wide world, who bears a striking resemblance to...well, y'know.

Dr. Wonderful looked straight into her eyes and said three magic words every Southern woman longs her entire life to hear from a man: "You're not crazy."
He actually said: "You are not crazy."
She cried, "You gotta be kidding?! Are you serious? I mean, REALLY, REALLY?"

He said: "You are not crazy. You are doing everything right." And he then informed us that three different classes of medications all of which are contraindicated can make a person feel crazy...but she wasn't! He said other things, too, but she was in Rapture and heard them Not! Few women from the Deep South ever hear those words from a man. What a Mother's Day WE GONNA HAVE NOW!

TODAY: STRUGGLING TO type, read, think, get dressed (underwear, on the inside or the outside? i knew this once, why won't it come back to me?) pain, wondering why bagels have holes in the middle...why is "up" on the top? Who invented "sideways" and why?
We misses our friends and  MODS way bad, but we get her so much more now: got no complaints for Dr. House and we even bathed so he wouldn't be allergic to us. It is Official: NOT CRAZY. Befuddled, but ain't a one of us gonna bring that up before Mother's Day...whaddya think WE are? Crazy?
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, ONE AND ALL!

ME SO PRETTY ONE DAY!

'allo, 'allo!

Friends,

We taking short break because of some stuff, but we'z all GOOD! Mom brain-blitzing: speech, typing, vision, vertigo, etc: Brain done gone South, to play with Meme is what WE figure!
One-Finger typing and migraine auras. To clear up confibrillating confoozion: We is all O.K. just another blip on the radar of life! Still, happy heart.

Love hearing from and about you = cannot easily write back. Good news is migraine pain is LESS but new neuro deficits increasing...and physically weak. Always like an arc. We is taking good care of her, and the "down time" giving US QUALITY Piggy-SNUGGLE TIME, SO WE AIN'T IN NO HURRY. Things come. Thing go.

This, too, shall pass.
Love,
YumYum and more than normally cuddledPies Happy Feet!

P.S. should we share she was so Gonzo she emailed MSNBC to ask Richard Engel
if he minded being...well, can you say: "TRAINWRECK?!" GOOD NEWS: we
think she too stupis to have remembered to press SEND button. Has trouble finding SEND.

OMG! We workz HARD for da money!

YouTube - COOL DANCING DOG

YouTube - COOL DANCING DOG

^^^YOU WILL BE HAPPIER FOR HAVING DANCED WITH THIS!

YA, TRUE, DAT!

Thank you, Marifun, for this, YOU TOTALLY ROCK, Girl-I-Kink~

What to Get Mom for Mother's Day?

Cafe Press - featured here in a design found on a T-shirt, has a gizillion guinea pig thingies so now all
we gotta do is get into mom's wallet, find her credit card, and commence "Operation: SHOPPING WHEEEK-SPREE!"

love,
YumYum

So, maybe some of the presents WILL BE FOR US! Like, we care? Mom'll get what's coming to her, in a good way, O.K. so maybe not, whatEVAH, she loves us no matter what we do!

YumYum commencing "Special Ops Search for Credit Card!" at Zero hundred minutes and counting. Need Intel, Calvin-the-small: "Whatcha got for Headquarters, lil'SneakySmall PiggieSpy?"
Prepare to be de-briefed! (Ooooh, I just LOVES sayin' dat!)

Calvin the small: "YumYum she keeps it frozen in an ice cube in the freezer to keep from impulse shopping."

YumYum: "OH, BLOODY HORK!"
Calvin: "Roger that, Yummy, Roger THAT! But, YumYum, found a frozen cache of Kit-Kat
bars! All is not lost, nor in vain!"
YumYum: "SquEEE! I shall knight thee, Chief of Intelligence Officer for Stealth Scan of Freezer!"

Calvin the small is crying he is so happy. And small. But what is that on his lips, looks like...
chocolate?!

"Oh, That Is Too Funny To Be True! Right?"

O.K. YumYum here. Just to clear the air, y'all. We initiated Richard into the herd with a little teasing, like having
Stephen Colbert interview him - not about anything political, we're guinea pigs, who cares? - but to congratulate
him on his recent nuptials and Coconut giving birth to 10 million baby guinea pigs all named after him, but with
numbers: Richard Engel the First, Richard Engel the Second, get it?

At first he laughed in disbelief...but then Colbert had to "go to break" when they both slam-slumped upon the table sobbing...and we feel bad for our misdeeds...especially in front of a live orchestra. Audience, right.

Richard, please forgive us! We don't feel bad at all, in fact, we was laffin' till our little toes wUZ wavin' in the air IN GLEEFUL MERRIMENT!
You have married into a family of bad piggies, bad, bad, piggies and we punked ya, punked ya GOOD!

{EDITOR: ONE bad piggie does not define a herd, YumYum. Please clarify!}

O.K. FINE! I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP SINCE I GOT BORED WITH YOUR STUPIS MIGRAINE AND WE ALL NEEDED A GOOD LAUGH!

{EDITOR: Thank You, YumYum, I think...?}

WHO LOVES YA, RICHARD?
YOU KNOW!

YumYum OUT (to plan our next scandal! Woot! Woot till Toes in de'Air from laffin' so hard!)