Panda's First Smile

Panda's First Smile
PandaPig's First Smile!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Nu-UH!


Dear Friends and loved ones,

Mom took me to the vet today! She made up this whole story about how she senses that I am in pain.
That sometimes I make a sound that sounds like I am in pain. Just to take me to the vet!
NO PROOF!

They trimmed my toenails and took an X-Ray and i did not get a lollipop, either.

He said I had spondyInklinDosee-Dosis of the spine, rapid onset, because he compared it to an X-Ray he took back in July 2010 when I didn't have Dosee-Dosis and I didn't get a lolliplop then, either! He said my spine is trying to fuse itself and that I have pain and it is only going to get worse...now, what kind of a person insults a guinea pig like that, especially one as fine as me?! I love mom and we snuggled and I climbed into her shirt to get away from the peoples telling her things like that.

Because I still run and hop and popcorn, and zoom up the ramp in my cage to my loft, from where I "hold court" with all the other guinea pigs whose cages all converge where my loft is located. And I gave a Big Speech which will be aired on BBC instead of that Royal Wedding Thingy...a speech about freedom, about courage, about facing the challenges of life with dignity and poise, not about how much I wanna BITE SOMETHING! The other pigulas were inspired and whistled, purred, chased each other around their own cages, jumped atop their pigloos, and oohed and aahed their hushed AWE: their good fortune for having ME be the herd's alpha pig and how I am going to interrupt the wedding about halfway down that long aisle to break this news to the entire world, about the spongy-inkling disease I so bravely will triumph upon all over it's ankling Sponding arthritic clanking thingy!

Here's to staring straight into the eyes of pain and - full volume - squealing my loudest: SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!
I WILL DEFEAT YOU SPONGY-INKLIN' AND GONNA GET YOU, GONNA GET YOU GOOD!

YEAH, THAT WHAT YUM-YUM MADE OF, ya, y'betcha!
~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~
{EDITOR: Today YumYum was diagnosed with progressive onset Ankylosing Spondylitis. He will
receive medication to relieve inflammation and pain depending upon how rapidly the condition
progresses. Currently, he remains active and snarky, sweet, cuddly, and loveable as ever. He has,
however, begun to lose weight.
We also picked up Erica's ashes, so it was kind of a rough day here for all at PandaPig's Peace
Sanctuary, but we are grateful he is both tumor and cancer free. Coconut and Mac the NutPie
will receive check-ups next month. For those considering adoption, guinea pigs require veterinary
care which can be quite expensive. And need to see a vet who specializes in guinea pigs because
dog & cat vets can harm guinea pigs. So, before adopting, please consider whether or not you
can provide the care your precious piggie will need. Because you will receive all the love they have...
for free!}
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6 comments:

  1. Dearest Darling Yum-Yum,
    We are oh-so-sorry to hear about your Dosee-Dosis of the spine. Ouch! At least it has a funny sounding name (both your version and the real version). Stand your ground and defy those harbingers of not-so-glad news. Continue your hopping, zooming, popcorning, etc. etc. and by all means keep the rest of the herd in order NO MATTER WHAT!! This is an important thing. We're behind you all the way, all of your admirers down here in The Queendom of Pooten on Seventieth Street. Of course, drugs will be a lot of help too (we speak from experience). So keep a stiff upper lip as they say in jolly ol' England where you will be disrupting the Royal Wedding. Mercy, you will cause quite a stir over there. We will definitely want to see pictures of you at Westminster Abbey as you announce to the world your latest news. That will be a blast to say the least.
    Much love from Pootenville,
    Queen Ann (aka DommyDomsMom), Princess Camille, and Sir DommyDom

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aunt Ann,
    What is your Cafe Press shirt size?
    The Bedouin Wedding Planners are very upset
    you did not receive your undergarment, as it
    is not in the tradition of modesty to attend
    mom and Richard's wedding with Robes...and nothing
    else, cuz sometimes A Mighty Wind Blows...and well, you know. Thank you for your love and support for my dosee-dosis i am completely ignoring it for now but the vet also put me on
    a hay-only diet for 3 days to avoid "bowel obstruction" so you can sympathize with how
    much mom - however so well-meaning she thinks
    she is being - actually intrudes on all our fun here! We know you would nevah DO SUCH A THING,
    Auntie Ann, so please ask mom to let us play, give us back all our fresh treats, and stop acting like i wanna dosee-do, because i don't.
    thank you, auntie ann and love to your Pooteenies, and their Queen!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Denial can be a very good thang Yum-Yum. Just keep it up and maybe the Dosee-Dosis will go away y'all hear me?

    But, I'm ascairt that if Mommy Dearest don't foller the vet's instructions, well then you might git sicker. Believe you me, you TAINT want to git a bowl obstriction. They hurt like H-E-DOUBLE-TOOTHPICKS if you git my drift. I had one once (actually two). Yowsa! How bout if she let you play a little, will that be OK? Certainly yowl git your fresh begebles back some day sooooon.

    Sending you my size via private email. Don't want the whole world to know!

    Love,
    Auntie Ann, aka DommyDomsMom, aka Queen Ann of Pootenville (no relationship to the royals in England)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Auntie Ann,

    After a detailed description to the world about
    your personal experiences with Bowel Obstruction MODESTY prevents you from also publishing your
    current shirt size? We LIKE YOU! Yes, quite Certain of it! ROFLMAO,
    yum-yum

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, I haven't figured out what ROFLMAO means yet. Do tell!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rolling On Floor Laughing My Ass Off! Created just for cavies who have a**s but no tails. Special us!

    ReplyDelete