Panda's First Smile

Panda's First Smile
PandaPig's First Smile!

Monday, March 12, 2012

DO I LOOK HAPPY, HAPPIER, OR HAPPIEST? LET'S TAKE A VOTE!

 
HELLO!
DO I SEEM TO BE HIDING A SMUG SMILE?
DO MY SWIRLS LOOK SWIRLIER?
COULD IT BE WINDSTORM #2,439?
THE SNOW?
MOM'S PHYSICAL THERAPIST AND NURSE FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE SHE GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL CLOCKING IN HER BLOOD PRESSURE AS OVER 100?
(yeah, that's it...gotta be...right.)


OR?
COULD IT BE THAT THE VET INFORMED
MOM THAT NEITHER HE NOR HIS ASSOCIATE "EXOTICS" SPECIALIST WOULD DO THE "SNIP-SNIP!!!!!!!!!!"


mu-ah-Ha-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!


let's see... #1) blood pressure (yawning...snore.)
#2) no snip-snip SQUEEEEEE!!!


He said unless we had females, the risks of 
death due to anesthesia and other complications did NOT justify the risks, unless you count wee widdle Weiner-Got-No-Twitters (with all due respect to former New York Congressman Anthony Weiner who really shouldn't of Twittered a girl right HERE in
Bellingham, cuz mom got miffed the press kept saying she was in Seattle when she was here, but, whatEVAH!)


In the past, mom had a vet living in another part of the county who would've done it in a heartbeat.
They parted ways over a heartbeat and she would
never, ever return even if she could drive due to
different points of views in their ethics.


Sooooooooo..................one other thing happend today.
While mom's physical therapist was here, wee widdle WeinerGate was gnawing on the bars
of both our cages "Why don't you love me
anymore, why am I alone now, what have I done 
wrong, I'm so little and alone?" so mom put the 
widdle weiner back in with YumYum, who was
taking a nap, admonishing Vinny, "Let him sleep and just leave him be and he'll let you be, no rumblestrutting or marking his stuff, just run and
popcorn, and leave him alone, O.K.?"
Vinny said (and there was a witness)
"Yeah, momma, yeah, yeah, ya betcha, hurry,
yeah, ya know I'll be good, c'mon!"
Since she and the PT were sitting right there to
over-see it, mom put Vinny in with YumYum, where he immediately ran to the Big Green Leaf
to pee on it "VINNY WAS HERE" before rumblestrutting before marking the cage before 
pushing his self into YumYum's sleep-sack to
YES, mount YumYum while purring and shakin'
his liddle money-maker which was sashaying
to-and-fro while he purred (the infamous Rumblestrut) to which, of course, YumYum responded with teeth-chattering, lunging, and
mom had to pick him up but! and here's where
it gets REALLY GOOD!
Until today, Vinny's sported a lovely, sweet & musky fragrance, Ralph Lauren Exotic Collection, right?
NOT.   ANY.   MORE!
That guinea pig weed the nastiest, most
pungent-smellin-stinkin' odor that
MOM STARTED chattering HER teeth at
the PT and making fun of his drawings
of the exercises she was supposed to be
doing! No wonder everyone was attacking
Vinny, even having his smell on her
shirt made mom attack her PT and
his trying to make a chair look like
an exercise ball and she kept saying
"Well, how do I supposed to know
what that man holding on to, it a chair
or a ball and if it a ball there ain't nothing
to hold on to and it an androgynous thing
too, what IS IT EVEN? I mean, how am
I supposed to tell what I am even looking
at and what kind of shoes are those?"


Mom has the nicest, sweetest physical therapist
in the world and he has helped her more than
anyone has ever helped her and he watched her
turn to the Dark Side of the Force right before
his mortified eyes...and he could even smell
the smell but he stayed nice.


So then he told mom how hard he tried to get her
an extra two weeks of therapy since this was supposed to have been her last but clearly she wasn't quite ready but she could hear the eager happiness in his voice when he told her the last day he would be coming so she apologized and he said she spoiled her guinea pigs and they made up.


And I keep my endowments: Pretty, pretty me.


The end.
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1 comment:

  1. Well, PHEWEE! That is all I am saying on the subject!

    ReplyDelete