Experience Music Project Museum
Recording Studio, April, 2013}
My name is Chana Meddin. I have been told I have a
"sick & twisted" sense of Humor! Seriously?
And I'm dying.
With my beloved cat, Chai.
He has a brain tumor.
We aren't sure yet what I am dying of,
unless it's my sick and twisted sense of humor!
Those of you near and dear ones who are offended
that I am going to die with my sick & twisted humor
firmly intact, PLEASE LET THIS BE THE LAST
POST YOU READ: I LOVE YOU, DEATH ISN'T
EASY, AND I UNDERSTAND MANY PEOPLE
JUST DON'T LIKE IT. Hey, I don't!
But this is my blog and I'm not going down without
a fighting good laugh about it, so please do not
read me any more if you find it too painful.
I understand and love you and am grateful
you are my friend. It's O.K.
That said, it's my death and I'll do what I want to!
Which is to have the best party possible, the most
fun, as many laughs as we can squeeze out of my
crazy life, and I'll cue you when you may need
a hanky. (I use a roll of Bounty super-absorbent
paper towels myself, but this is not and endorsement.)
I am a drummer and when Kestra and the Wee Kestras visited
me this year for my birthday, we rocked & rolled at what was
formerly known as "The Jimi Hendrix Museum," now known
as "The Experience Music Project" Or, for us locals: "EMP."
Days later, we all took a ferry to Bainbridge Island and enjoyed a birthday afternoon I will never forget. Throughout the day,
Wee-est Kestra announced: "I smell horses." Cracked us UP!
So, Kestra and you two (not quite so) Wee Kestras:
THANK YOU! I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!
So, here's the deal. Lots of crazy shit is going down.
It's surreal, but some of it is so absolutely ridiculous
(and tragic, yes, but ridiculous) that it's just funny!
This won't be no morbid party, y'all!
My dear friend and Tai Chi teacher, R. is my
"official Death Doula."
A doula is a nonmedical person who assists a woman
before, during, and after childbirth. I have hired him,
without pay, to assist me before and during dying
because he makes me laugh and laughter is the
best medicine. The guinea pigs help, too!
Just so's ya know, I have finally been guided via a sloth
bear (remind me to tell you that story, too, I just have
limited energy so blogs may be shorter) to a pre-Hospice
"Transitions" program and the women in it are
kicking some medical ass to get me treated humanely!
Love kicking medical ass. They'll also be providing the
support that my Person-of-Interest (NO PICURES,
NO NAME: "I don't want to leave a cyber-footprint!!!)
of 22 + years require for me to die "at home" -
(the place I live in Seattle now, for which the word "home"
is a bit of a stretch, but it is what it is)...I will stay here with
the piggies, dying Chai the Brave Bengal Cat, and our other
cat. We lived in Bellingham and HAD THE TIMES OF
OUR LIVES, CHAI AND I DID! WITH THE PIGGIES.
After my traumatic brain injury a few years ago Chai had
to come back to live with my POI (person of interest) so
now we are all re-united together, all of us:
And it is GOOD.
The possibility always exists that I could get well.
Right now, many loved ones are keeping HOPE alive
and well in their hearts for us. I don't have a helluva
lot of it, but am happy for those who do.
Anyway, the whole journey is new, surreal, tragic, funny,
uncomfortable, and feels like a dream. When I wake up
in the morning only to realize that I am in Seattle, I usually
try to wait until after I've had a little instant, watered-down,
filthy disgusting Starbucks Via instant coffee before I cry.
My stomach hurts too much to drink lattes anymore.
I'm not sure whether I'm crying because I can't drink lattes
or because...oh bloody HORK: INSTANT COFFEE IN SEATTLE?! WHAT AN INSULT!
Anyway, remember that Fleetwood Mac song from their
hit album "Rumors" (I think?)
"You Make Loving Fun"?
Well, my Death Doula makes dying fun, he really cracks me up.
SO! If you think death isn't a laughing matter,
READ NO MORE, PLEASE!!!
Because I deserve to laugh. And this is my blog and I'll laugh if I want to. And I want to.
You are invited to step off the train at this station
with hugs, kisses, and gratitude for having
been part of this Wonderful Life.
Or...you can read the posts that I hope to have the strength to write, because funny things do
happen. And these are what I choose to share
and these are how I lived such a wonderful
life and humor is how I choose a wonderful...
ya know! Like I said, there's always room
for a Miracle! Hope remains!
Meanwhile, me and my cat, we be dying.
All together, with the ones I love and who love us.
With the EXTRAORDINARY support of the
"Transitions" team. It's gonna be a jolly good
show because it's been a JOLLY GREAT LIFE!
And I got to record a DVD with the Wee Kestras
back in April! Thank you, Kestra! Thank you,
Thank you all! I love you. You make living wonderful. And, in my heart, you are helping
me through this transition with love, gratitude, peace, and my sick & twisted sense of humor.
Remember "Winnie the Pooh" and that famous
sign Christopher Robin used to put up when he
left home to go Wandering through
The Hundred Acre Wood:
...going out. See ya soon!