IS IT SPRING YET?

MEET ASIA, TAIWANESE MOUNTAIN DOG!

Asia, a rescue, is one of mom's best friends and we love her!

ASCIA, OUR FAVORITE BULL TERRIER EVER!

Gentle readers,

As we prepare to move, we would like to introduce you to our favorite neighbors:  friends to whom we reluctantly bid farewell. Friends we have come to love and are sure to miss.

Tonight we introduce Asia, the bull terrier. She's so friendly you'd think she was going to wag her tail right off her happy rear; when Ascia is happy to see mom she wags her tail faster than a windshield wiper.
Meet Ascia, the best bull terrier in the whole wide world of guinea pigs!

YOLANDA LOOKS DOWN.

"What are those silly bird people looking at NOW?"

PEACE AND QUIET?

"Spring is nature's way of saying "Let's Party."
- Robin Williams

This morning we all awoke early, before it was bright, enjoying the sun rise over the marsh, melting the glaze of mist hovering just above the placid water adorned with dewy-fresh cattails. When male red-winged blackbirds torpedoed airborne from their marsh to our suet feeder, screaming, "SeeYEW! SeeYEW!" YumYum answered calmly each time with his rapid-fire guinea pig giggle: "eh-eh-eh-eh." This went on for quite awhile  and was so funny mom couldn't stop laughing at Yummy; perched high atop his loft, relaxed yet alert upon his pink, quilted ferret sleeping bag. He's so fun-loving, that one!

It's the first time mom has laughed since finding out we have to move. She's been too quiet lately, just gazing out the window, across "our" wild place, binoculars scoped on one bald eagle perched high in her tree announcing to the Wildlife Nation of Scudder Pond: "I have returned! It is I! It is me! It is she!" Before long, YolandaEagle will be sitting on fertile eggs and, at precisely the time birders most desperately want to view her new family, the cottonwood's bare limbs will burgeon into green-filling leaves, hiding her nest and nestlings from our eager binoculars. She knows it, too, ya betcha!

When Yolanda sees us pathetic humans stranded wingless upon the ground, straining to see Her Majesty, she probably sings quietly to her young: "We have returned! It is me! It is YOU: little eggs, my darling soon-to-be eaglets! WAY UP HERE IN THE COTTONWOOD TREE,
'TIS SPRING!
AND THEY CAN'T SEE A THING!"

That would be the point in her song where, if he could hear it, YumYum would giggle back in whimsical agreement: "Yeah, they can't see a THING! eh-eh-eh-eh-eh eh!" He sounds like furry little laughing machine gun!  All That and Proud to be YumYum, engaging happily with his Wildlife Nation. No domesticated pet, that one!

"HEY,

YumYum, WE can see YOU," observes Bear the Beaver Pig. "YOU'RE NOT INVISIBLE!"

"Oh? Whatever...LETTUCE? CARROTS? WHEEEEK! WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST, MOM?"

We all join in with urgent, loud WHEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeKs and Bear finally unleashes his high-pitched
scream! Neither mom nor we have ever heard, seen, nor even read about a sound so loud, so gut-wrenchingly high soprano, that it makes mom scurry to the fridge like a roach when someone
suddenly turns on the lights at midnight.  It is seriously volUminous: worse than when mom was learning
to sing opera; a horrible chapter in Chai's life that he told me all about when I first moved here.
He said when she practiced her music scales in the bedroom at Edwin's in Seattle, the neighbor below them
got out a broom and pounded on his ceiling with the broomstick to make her shut up. (EDITOR'S NOTE: sad but true.)

Chai and Sami would race each other out of the room screaming like Bob Marley and the Feline Wailers. Nightmarish stuff, mom's defective opera career...
Thank goodness THAT'S OVER! But when she tells Bear he sounds like her, we all shiver. "noooooo."

Chai warned me never to mention it, lest she remember the box where her practice tapes are stored...
ERASE THIS POST NOW!

That was Then and this is Now:

Mom finally began packing for the first time. Our breakfast was late. But it's OK because we recognized she had moved from Shock and Awe to Acceptance and was at peace with moving, at last. To where, you ask?
Not sure exactly...but we have a place picked out, if it becomes vacant. Very artsy, built green,downtown, and perfect for our new HUBA (hip, urban, bohemian artist) lifestyle.

Quietly acknowledging our days here on the Nature Sanctuary really are numbered, mom gently gave each of us extra green and yellow bell peppers, organic romaine lettuce, and a fresh pile of hay.

WE HAPPY NOW! HAPPY US, HAPPY YOU! HAPPY MOVING ON: SURELY A BETTER LIFE AWAITS US ALL! Mom, have faith.  WE DO.

PANDA OUT!

(EDITOR'S NOTE: Photo of mom courtesy of Sandra Yameogo, 2009)

THE "PINK MOUSE"

Gentle readers,

Before Oboe, our neighbor, became "Chin-Sun-Kitty" (next post) she was studying mysticism with none other than Pink Mouse. Her mom, am, has described amazing discoveries she made regarding Pink Mouse on their own blog, (see above blog link with magic #37!)

Now Pink Mouse is teaching Oboe how to live in accordance with  Rare Sun of the Pacific Northwest!

None of us piggies have a Pink Mouse so we asked mom for Pink Mouses of our very own.

Perhaps we will receive one since we have been very good!

Perhaps we will NOT receive one since we have been very bad!

Mom loves us no matter what, she just thinks Pink Mouse would not survive our long, rodential teeth and penchant to rip open Sources of Wisdom to discover the Secrets Within that take others on long spiritual
journeys lasting an entire lifetime:  Oh, Big Woo!


LIKE WE CARE? Seriously, dear reader,


Guinea pigs have short life-spans: 5-7 years and Bear is already 5!  We don't have time for long,
spiritual journeys.  We told mom so.  We asked her for a Pink Mouse so that we could rip it open
and receive the Secrets of Life for our immediate gratification! When your life-span is so short you don't exactly have all day for learning profound life lessons, blah, blah, blah...just  time for stuff like playing, Runabouts, eating favorite foods that are good for us, eating favorite foods that are not good for us (wires, if one of us escapes and finds one lying on the floor connected to the electrical socket to the wall: talk about Sudden Awakenings!) and all kinds of fun stuff that makes mom shout: "Nooooooooooooooooo! BAD PIG! STOP!"
Music to our floppy little ears, I tell ya:  Livens up our shenanigans every time we get mom to go Over The Top And Down the Rabbit Hole when we're playing with her head to entertain ourselves:  Hee, hee. We bad!

Who cares? We want a Pink Mouse now! Three, in fact, one for each of us.

Mom? MOM?!

YumYum: "PandaPig, LOOK: She's sunning her chin."

PANDA OUT!

"CHIN-SUN" ENJOYS SPRING

This morning mom found out that our little neighbor, Oboe, is lying on the floor in the sun, having found a way to expose her chin to the brightest light coming through the back door. She's sunning her chin as we speak! So, we proclaim her "Chin-Sun" because we piggies do not know how to do that!

We know how to be naughty.

We EVEN know how to be nice.

BUT

We don't know how to sun our chins, so we bow to Chin-Sun-Kitty!

WE INVITE YOU, DEAR READERS, TO SUN YOUR CHINS, TOO!
PANDA OUT!

NO! NO! NOT GUINEA PIRATES?!

Dear Sir Dominic, we are sincerely sorry that the following link frightened you so! Your mom, Ann, never told us you had a
"GIANT GUINEA PIRATE" phobia or we would never have shown that. (yes we would) and we are all contrite with shame (no we're not) so please ask your mom for a glass of warm milk with honey and a dash of fresh cardamom, then to tuck you in with her tonight and play some nice music like Wagner's Ring Cycle, especially the Valkyries. That'll soothe you. Meanwhile, please come back to visit us again because we need to give your mom back all your "Glee" dvd's...we're "Gleeks" too and are so happy to have you on our team. Dom, again, we will not display anything resembling Giant Guinea Pirates ever again, we promise (no we don't)
















PANDA PIG APOLOGETICALLY OUT! (no i'm not)

WHAT MOM'S NEW BOOK SAYS: DEBUNKED BY FOLLOWING DOCUMENTARY

South Park Episode Player - Pandemic 2 - The Startling

Today mom got a little booklet from the farm store about guinea pigs while stocking up on all our supplies, plus a few new toys. The first sentence:

"Guinea pigs, also called cavies, are the most gentle of all household pets. They are very placid, and almost
never bite or scratch."
by Bradley Viner "All About Your Guinea Pig"

Although I posted a few excerpts from "South Park" yesterday, after reading
that sentence aloud to us, bursting into laughter, and throwing down the
book, mom requested I post the episode in its entirety. I have complied: Watch and learn.

GUINEA PIGS, GUINEA BEES, GUINEA RATS, GUINEA RABBITS! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!

(just don't tell anyone) We have a placid reputation to keep up.

PANDA OUT!

NAUGHTY LITTLE THING

This may just appear to be an innocent photograph depicting YumYum
watching Bear walk away. And a gentle reader might assume YumYum
misses his friend.

WRONG!

Read on to learn the ugly truth behind this innocuous photograph
because I am finally ready to expose secrets of the herd you have
never read before: This is the beginning of YumYum's Great Revenge.

And it isn't pretty.

Bear just doesn't know that yet. But he will. Oh yes, he will!

PANDA OUT (AND ONLY WARMING UP!)

REVENGE OF THE LITTLE PIG!

Gentle Reader, take a good look. You see YumYum climbing intently into Bear the Beaver Pig's cage.
WHY?
THE NEXT POST EXPOSES THE UGLY TRUTH BEHIND WHEN GOOD PIGS GO BAD!

WHEN GOOD GUINEA PIGS GO BAD!

Gentle Reader,

For months I have honestly tried to portray our herd as one blissful,
loving family.

But, frankly, I have HAD IT WITH THESE TWO!

You may as well know that these photographs illustrate a hostile
standoff between the alpha-male by virtue of size and age, Bear
the Beaver Pig, and the little upstart with a big attitude, YumYum!
This is dangerous behavior: chattering loudly with their teeth, getting closer and closer to one another, until one will actually charge the
other, ready to do some serious damage.

YumYum appears to have lost this standoff, but what you do not
know, dear reader, is that he climbed immediately into Bear's
cage, carefully dismembering Bear's favorite boxes and toys with
attention to being as destructive as his little teeth and toes would
allow. He broke Bear's favorite "turtle box" (the low box with
holes that he pokes his head through then walks around carrying
the box on his back like a turtle) and then YumYum peed his own
"house blend" of scent, marking Bear's cage as HIS! He peed, he
pooed, he sprayed the scent of a vengeful little punk ALL OVER
Bear's Favorite Things. No accident, this behavior!

Then YumYum ate his food, drank his water, and made a mess of
Bear's favorite hay pile, the one Bear likes to hide under while he
grazes contentedly at bedtime.

Mom had to completely clean, wipe and wash down Bear's cage to
remove YumYum's vengeance. Although, admittedly, it beat the
last few times when she stuck her hand between them...and bad
things happened. Now she uses a dish towel or oven mitt to break
up their Stand-Offs. So, even though it appears Bear won this
round, one has to wonder: did he? Did he really?
Can't we all just get along?
Sigh...
PANDA OUT!