bridget jones's diary - all by myself - YouTube
"Vinny's Theme"
Panda's First Smile
PandaPig's First Smile!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
"IN SURVEILLANCE WE TRUST"
t
THIS gonna be good, mom leaving both
cage doors OPEN at one time! We all
loves her but she got !@@$%^% for brains...
cage doors OPEN at one time! We all
loves her but she got !@@$%^% for brains...
WHADDA-WHADDA-WHADDA?
MY CAGE DOOR...
IT'S OPEN?
WHAT EVAH COULD THAT MEAN?
WHADDA-WHADDA-WHADDA,
SO WAS MINE! GONNA GET YOU, VINNY,
YOU LOOK LIKE A GIANT RAT AND YOU
SMELL LIKE ONE, TOO!
MY CAGE DOOR...
IT'S OPEN?
WHAT EVAH COULD THAT MEAN?
WHADDA-WHADDA-WHADDA,
SO WAS MINE! GONNA GET YOU, VINNY,
YOU LOOK LIKE A GIANT RAT AND YOU
SMELL LIKE ONE, TOO!
HEE-HEE, VinnyGuinea's favorite Runabout Bed
gonna have my very special Bhindi-fragrance in-it
NOW! (hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee, nasty!!!!)
gonna have my very special Bhindi-fragrance in-it
NOW! (hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee, nasty!!!!)
There was a song from movie "Bridget Jones' Diary"
wasn't there? when Rene Zellshenschwegger
sang "All By My-Seeeeeelf, Don't Wanna Be..."
That's how a little piggieschwegger can feel, too.
But didn't mom get cool fleece for Runabout floor?
Now she can't see our poohs to clean it.
(EVERYONE LAUGHING: "AS IF SHE
EVAH
CLEAN IT ANYWAY!!!!")
wasn't there? when Rene Zellshenschwegger
sang "All By My-Seeeeeelf, Don't Wanna Be..."
That's how a little piggieschwegger can feel, too.
But didn't mom get cool fleece for Runabout floor?
Now she can't see our poohs to clean it.
(EVERYONE LAUGHING: "AS IF SHE
EVAH
CLEAN IT ANYWAY!!!!")
Hey, be nice, she all by herself, too.
'Cept for us. We at least eat 'em to help her.
'Cept for us. We at least eat 'em to help her.
WHADDA-WHADDA-WHADDA?
WHO BEEN IN MY FAVE-O-FAVE
RUNABOUT DUCCLE-CUP THAT
I SO UPSET I CAN'T EVEN SAY
CUPPLE-DUCK? WHO PEED AND
POOPED IT? HELP!
AUNT CONNIE PIE? HELP!
MOM AIN'T WATCHING THE CHICKEN
COOP AND BAD THINGS HAPPENING
TO YOUR LIL'VINNY, YOU NEEDZ
TO COME OUT HERE AND SLAP MOM!
KNOW IT WAS BHINDI-BALLS.
YEAH, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.
I SAID IT. GET USED TO IT:
BHINDI-BALLS*BHINDI-BALLS!
DRAGS 'EM AROUND IS WHY HE
CAN'T CATCH ME IS WHY!
DEM STUPID THINGS, JUST CUZ I
AIN'T GOT 'EM DON'T MEAN NUTTIN'
TO NOOOOO-BODY! I FAST, I STEALTHY,
ONE MINUTE YOU DON'T KNOW I'M THERE,
SUDDENLY I SURFACE WITH THE STEALTH OF A SUBMARINE!
BHINDI CAN'T DO THAT, JUST DRAGGIN'
AROUND HIS...Y'KNOW, FOR HIS BIRTHDAY
SOMEBODY OUGHTTA GET HIM LITTLE
SACKS LIKE ROBIN HOOD PEOPLE WOULD
WEAR, A CODDLE PIECE THING? LIKE
HE GONNA CATCH ME, THE GOON!
WHO BEEN IN MY FAVE-O-FAVE
RUNABOUT DUCCLE-CUP THAT
I SO UPSET I CAN'T EVEN SAY
CUPPLE-DUCK? WHO PEED AND
POOPED IT? HELP!
AUNT CONNIE PIE? HELP!
MOM AIN'T WATCHING THE CHICKEN
COOP AND BAD THINGS HAPPENING
TO YOUR LIL'VINNY, YOU NEEDZ
TO COME OUT HERE AND SLAP MOM!
KNOW IT WAS BHINDI-BALLS.
YEAH, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.
I SAID IT. GET USED TO IT:
BHINDI-BALLS*BHINDI-BALLS!
DRAGS 'EM AROUND IS WHY HE
CAN'T CATCH ME IS WHY!
DEM STUPID THINGS, JUST CUZ I
AIN'T GOT 'EM DON'T MEAN NUTTIN'
TO NOOOOO-BODY! I FAST, I STEALTHY,
ONE MINUTE YOU DON'T KNOW I'M THERE,
SUDDENLY I SURFACE WITH THE STEALTH OF A SUBMARINE!
BHINDI CAN'T DO THAT, JUST DRAGGIN'
AROUND HIS...Y'KNOW, FOR HIS BIRTHDAY
SOMEBODY OUGHTTA GET HIM LITTLE
SACKS LIKE ROBIN HOOD PEOPLE WOULD
WEAR, A CODDLE PIECE THING? LIKE
HE GONNA CATCH ME, THE GOON!
Fine, just a little "redecorating" and I'll be
on my way. Oooooh, yeah, that's more like it!
on my way. Oooooh, yeah, that's more like it!
I planned to enjoy "Cavy Afternoon"
But this here more drama than even I,
resident, swaggering Pirate Chief Ahoy
am accustomed to!
But this here more drama than even I,
resident, swaggering Pirate Chief Ahoy
am accustomed to!
O.K. Just needed to go home and regroup.
SQUEEEEEEE! and out the door again!
SQUEEEEEEE! and out the door again!
Oh, Vinny, my cage door closed "by accident"
would you mind opening it for me again while
you're passing by?
would you mind opening it for me again while
you're passing by?
no?
{Blog Post dedicated to VinnyGuinea's
Godmother, AuntKookaPie}
Godmother, AuntKookaPie}
Vinny Has a Story...
May I tell you what happened today?
Twasn't fair, none of it...
Yes, you may cry for me, Argentina.
I am going to bed now.
Sweet dreams.
Twasn't fair, none of it...
Yes, you may cry for me, Argentina.
I am going to bed now.
Sweet dreams.
THE "INCIDENT"
Today there was an "incident" and it was mom's fault, not mine.
Not even Bhindi's, really. O.K. it was mom and Bhindi's. Not mine.
Mom lets us out now by simply opening the ramp door at the end of our cool, new "habitats" which she covered with a cushioned walkway so we can run in and out of our own cages while playing, exploring, scooting, scurrying, and racing about the apartment, which mom piggy-proofed except for her antique drafting table from the thrift shop made of wood and we chew and chew on it, as it has been chewed on by every cavy who has resided within the bastion of PandasPigSanctuary. But this is the first time mom let me and Bhindi out together with both our cage doors open.
Need I say more? I ran into his cage and tore it up,
PEED & POOPED, TOO, YA GOTTA if you a real boy!
Meanwhile, Bhindi ran into my cage and tore it up.
When I ran back into my cage for some water and a brief
rest and discovered what heinous crimes had been committed
(never mind that I had already done them to him!) I came
out like Dirty Harry LOCKED AND LOADED and he had
also discovered that I had been in his cage tearing HIS THINGS
up, so HE CAME OUT LOCKED AND LOADED so even mom's
"shepherding spatula" that she uses to break us up was no match for "Revenge of the Cage Wheekers!"
Further, I have never done this before, but mom told CD3 on the phone that I went over to all the "common" cuddle cups and toys
on the floor and was STOMPING ON THEM AND THAT SHE
HAS PICTURES TO PROVE IT!
So what if I did? It felt right, I am a muse...following the
"Inner Vinny" and my "Inner Vinny" said STOMP, TEAR,
RIP, SHRED, EAT, PEE AND POO ON...MAKE MY WAY
IN THE WORLD, MAKE SURE THE WORLD KNOWS
I MAY BE SMALL, BUT - AND MAKE NO MISTAKE,
WORLD, VINNY-GUINEA IS HERE TO STAY!
We made a big mess.
Later, Bhindi was choking on something and mom
had to pick him up to see if she could help him and let him run
around again and he got to do a re-pee of all the places I had
already done a three-pee! And YumYum never even got a
Runabout today!
SPRING FEVER AND WE NEEDZ US SOME WIMMIN!
THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKIN' TO IT.
love,
wee Vinny-Guinea
the Innocent
thank you.
Not even Bhindi's, really. O.K. it was mom and Bhindi's. Not mine.
Mom lets us out now by simply opening the ramp door at the end of our cool, new "habitats" which she covered with a cushioned walkway so we can run in and out of our own cages while playing, exploring, scooting, scurrying, and racing about the apartment, which mom piggy-proofed except for her antique drafting table from the thrift shop made of wood and we chew and chew on it, as it has been chewed on by every cavy who has resided within the bastion of PandasPigSanctuary. But this is the first time mom let me and Bhindi out together with both our cage doors open.
Need I say more? I ran into his cage and tore it up,
PEED & POOPED, TOO, YA GOTTA if you a real boy!
Meanwhile, Bhindi ran into my cage and tore it up.
When I ran back into my cage for some water and a brief
rest and discovered what heinous crimes had been committed
(never mind that I had already done them to him!) I came
out like Dirty Harry LOCKED AND LOADED and he had
also discovered that I had been in his cage tearing HIS THINGS
up, so HE CAME OUT LOCKED AND LOADED so even mom's
"shepherding spatula" that she uses to break us up was no match for "Revenge of the Cage Wheekers!"
Further, I have never done this before, but mom told CD3 on the phone that I went over to all the "common" cuddle cups and toys
on the floor and was STOMPING ON THEM AND THAT SHE
HAS PICTURES TO PROVE IT!
So what if I did? It felt right, I am a muse...following the
"Inner Vinny" and my "Inner Vinny" said STOMP, TEAR,
RIP, SHRED, EAT, PEE AND POO ON...MAKE MY WAY
IN THE WORLD, MAKE SURE THE WORLD KNOWS
I MAY BE SMALL, BUT - AND MAKE NO MISTAKE,
WORLD, VINNY-GUINEA IS HERE TO STAY!
We made a big mess.
Later, Bhindi was choking on something and mom
had to pick him up to see if she could help him and let him run
around again and he got to do a re-pee of all the places I had
already done a three-pee! And YumYum never even got a
Runabout today!
SPRING FEVER AND WE NEEDZ US SOME WIMMIN!
THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKIN' TO IT.
love,
wee Vinny-Guinea
the Innocent
thank you.
Monday, March 26, 2012
IN BAVARIA IT REALLY IS A MEERI, MEERI SPRING TIME!
SPRING HATH SPRUNG! AND THE FIRST DANDELIONS
HAVE BROUGHT MEERI-BOY'S HAREM OUT FOR A
LITTLE TASTE O' IT! MMMMmmmmmGOODNESS GRACIOUS!
WE HAVE HEARD RUMOURS OF THIS THING
CALLED SPRING WHEN THE WIND BLOWS THE
CITY BENEATH OUR WINDOW, THINGS NOT
BATTENED DOWN...AND THE MOUNTAIN GETS
98" OF SNOW...SO HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IN
BAVARIA A PICTURE POSTCARD OF THE PRETTIEST
MEERIS MAKES SPRING OFFICIAL: WHERE THERE
ARE DANDELIONS AND MEERIES GATHERED
(AND SUCH BEAUTIFUL GIRLS, OH MY!)
THEN HOPE SPRING ETERNAL.
THANK YOU INGRID AND HELMUT...
SPRING...
SPRING....
SPRING....
Growing Pains...
WE are in possession of a disparity, a disparity is ours:
Bhindi was still a youngster, albeit larger than VinnyGuinea
when he came to PandasPigSanctuary...and he grew the biggest
pair of you wouldn't believe the ^%$##&*!!! on him!!
and still growing like somebody put radioactive isotopes
in his gene pool to create a giant, mutant ninja MALE *&^%!
Vinny was long, silky, shiny, speedy McNotYet-i.
Thing is he never...grew. He just grew on us!
And became a jumper, & faster, smarter, and what is
the motto of the OlympiGs? It's late. We aren't Summer
OlympiG Lovers anyway. Where's the ice? What's
up with not having ice and snow anyway? We
don't get it? OOOOH>Beach Volleyball, Jolly-HO!
One pig grew. One pig remains the cutest baby you could
ever hold on your lap watching whirling dervishes whirl.
At the end of the day, YumYum still da Alpha Male
and tonight that fresh, crunchy, local Fuji apple in
his cage, it's rightful place:
YUM-YUM, Baby, YOU'RE STILL THE ONE!
Bhindi was still a youngster, albeit larger than VinnyGuinea
when he came to PandasPigSanctuary...and he grew the biggest
pair of
Vinny was long, silky, shiny, speedy McNotYet-i.
Thing is he never...grew. He just grew on us!
And became a jumper, & faster, smarter, and what is
the motto of the OlympiGs? It's late. We aren't Summer
OlympiG Lovers anyway. Where's the ice? What's
up with not having ice and snow anyway? We
don't get it? OOOOH>Beach Volleyball, Jolly-HO!
One pig grew. One pig remains the cutest baby you could
ever hold on your lap watching whirling dervishes whirl.
At the end of the day, YumYum still da Alpha Male
and tonight that fresh, crunchy, local Fuji apple in
his cage, it's rightful place:
YUM-YUM, Baby, YOU'RE STILL THE ONE!
FOR FAIRY!
DEAR Cowgirl Fairy,
We just enjoyed your blog post
but we can't figure out how to leave
comments on our own blog, much less yours,
of course, but we would like to send you a
cow-boy-cavy to be your very own Clint Eastwood
ON THE CONDITION THAT HE IN NO WAY
WHATSOEVER REPLACE EVEN IN YOUR
DREAMS, IMAGINATION, OR IN ANY FORM
OF CLOUD SHAPES IN THE SKY REPLACE
THE ROMANTIC THOUGHTS YOU SECRETLY
HARBOR FOR MY MANLY BITS...
for they are not getting any smaller.
And I can say, "Feelin' lucky, Punk?"
better than any other cavy you ever met!
We can watch spaghetti westerns together
and just eat the salads...
I will be your hero.
So, dear reader, please see to right in
Blogs we do something to where
Fairy did something on her blog
then please do it, too!
Love,
BhindiBoy
so coy, so shy, so coy...
We just enjoyed your blog post
but we can't figure out how to leave
comments on our own blog, much less yours,
of course, but we would like to send you a
cow-boy-cavy to be your very own Clint Eastwood
ON THE CONDITION THAT HE IN NO WAY
WHATSOEVER REPLACE EVEN IN YOUR
DREAMS, IMAGINATION, OR IN ANY FORM
OF CLOUD SHAPES IN THE SKY REPLACE
THE ROMANTIC THOUGHTS YOU SECRETLY
HARBOR FOR MY MANLY BITS...
for they are not getting any smaller.
And I can say, "Feelin' lucky, Punk?"
better than any other cavy you ever met!
We can watch spaghetti westerns together
and just eat the salads...
I will be your hero.
So, dear reader, please see to right in
Blogs we do something to where
Fairy did something on her blog
then please do it, too!
Love,
BhindiBoy
so coy, so shy, so coy...
Sunday, March 25, 2012
McNugget Sketch
Bhindi here. Did you know that I am an
artist? This is my first drawing of Vinny,
who I have nicknamed McNot-Nugget for
his lack of "Nuggentia." Not only that, he
never grew up and remains a silky baby boy.
I am in my "representational phase" since
"LackMacNuggets" runs so fast he cannot sit
still long enough to pose for my "realism" phase.
And, as the WheekGrass turns, he is a mystic!
Mom was recently given some mystic Sufi videos
to watch by someone who visited Turkey and India a long
time ago and when the whirling dervish music started
Mr. Mystic McNo-NuggetZ was eating a BIG leaf of
romaine lettuce in mom's lap: His jaw dropped and he
remained in a genuine Romaine Trance until the music
and whirling dervishes were over, then resumed chewing.
That is why I drew him.
We are not exactly certain what we have here.
What do YOU think?
Fairy, we are off to read your newest blog post
now. Love you. Love you ALL! Nighty-night,
don't let the dervishes bite!
Yours,
BhindiBoy
P.S. We noticed that GOOGLE and PICASSA and lots of things have started doing things we do not understand like turning certain words red and underlining certain words and we cannot even leave comments on our own blog. We don't know why. We didn't do it!
artist? This is my first drawing of Vinny,
who I have nicknamed McNot-Nugget for
his lack of "Nuggentia." Not only that, he
never grew up and remains a silky baby boy.
I am in my "representational phase" since
"LackMacNuggets" runs so fast he cannot sit
still long enough to pose for my "realism" phase.
And, as the WheekGrass turns, he is a mystic!
Mom was recently given some mystic Sufi videos
to watch by someone who visited Turkey and India a long
time ago and when the whirling dervish music started
Mr. Mystic McNo-NuggetZ was eating a BIG leaf of
romaine lettuce in mom's lap: His jaw dropped and he
remained in a genuine Romaine Trance until the music
and whirling dervishes were over, then resumed chewing.
That is why I drew him.
We are not exactly certain what we have here.
What do YOU think?
Fairy, we are off to read your newest blog post
now. Love you. Love you ALL! Nighty-night,
don't let the dervishes bite!
Yours,
BhindiBoy
P.S. We noticed that GOOGLE and PICASSA and lots of things have started doing things we do not understand like turning certain words red and underlining certain words and we cannot even leave comments on our own blog. We don't know why. We didn't do it!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
ARTIST'S RENDERING OF NEW CAVIARY
Dedicated to our wunnerful
Auntie ConniElfPie.
NOT taken from a chair!
Only taken from a dream.
Note to our Auntie Connie
(PRIVATE: NO, YOU SHUT UP!)
Thank you.
Auntie ConniElfPie.
NOT taken from a chair!
Only taken from a dream.
Note to our Auntie Connie
(PRIVATE: NO, YOU SHUT UP!)
Thank you.
YUM-YUM'S RUNABOUT IN OUR NEW CAVIARY
This is Vinny. I'm on my bright red castle.
YumYum is on Runabout, a free range Pig.
Without me. It's not right. I am going to escape.
YumYum is on Runabout, a free range Pig.
Without me. It's not right. I am going to escape.
Bhindi here, the cerebral Socrates of the herd.
I will think of a way to get out. Thinking now.
I will think of a way to get out. Thinking now.
Oh, I never thought of thinking.
I think I shall eat then. Eat then think.
I think I shall eat then. Eat then think.
Eat. Think. Yoga. Escape.
Eat. Think. Yoga. Watch YumYum,
run and popcorn, wild and free.
Why not me? Why not Vinny?
Can you see lil'me on far right and
big *Bhindi in Habitat Central?
Captives in Paradise.
You may need to press on
the pic to enlarge it, we are
such wee little piglets...
run and popcorn, wild and free.
Why not me? Why not Vinny?
Can you see lil'me on far right and
big *Bhindi in Habitat Central?
Captives in Paradise.
You may need to press on
the pic to enlarge it, we are
such wee little piglets...
Eat. Think. Twiddle Toes Yoga.
How sad & pathetic. Cry...then Twiddle Toes.
Look at feet, one white, one black: I am beautiful.
Don't the bars break your heart?
Such humility should never be confined,
such magnificence withheld from our needy world.
How sad & pathetic. Cry...then Twiddle Toes.
Look at feet, one white, one black: I am beautiful.
Don't the bars break your heart?
Such humility should never be confined,
such magnificence withheld from our needy world.
Bhindi: "I'll correct this injustice! Just get a
wee bit closer, YumYum, just get your bum
a wee bit closer..."
wee bit closer, YumYum, just get your bum
a wee bit closer..."
Eat. Think. I can't do yoga because my **
are too ** to stretch...they just POP-OUT!
Sharpen teeth. Eat. Think. Sharpen Teeth!
are too ** to stretch...they just POP-OUT!
Sharpen teeth. Eat. Think. Sharpen Teeth!
I am too cute to be this lonely.
Ate. Thought. Yoga. Looked at toenails.
Looked at one white foot, one black foot.
Looked sad. No intervention. Alone to
meditate on beauty of me.
While YumYum runs free...
Trust Bhindi to OCCUPY PIG STEET!
Ate. Thought. Yoga. Looked at toenails.
Looked at one white foot, one black foot.
Looked sad. No intervention. Alone to
meditate on beauty of me.
While YumYum runs free...
Trust Bhindi to OCCUPY PIG STEET!
C'mon, so close, SO CLOSE....
YumYum, you look concerned, are you?
YumYum, you look concerned, are you?
WHADDA-WHADDA-WHADDA?
Where'd he go? Come back here, Pirate!
Where'd he go? Come back here, Pirate!
YUM-YUM SIGHTING!
SHIP'S AHOY,
I SPY THE PIRATE
WASHING UP
IN HIS CUDDLE CUP AS
MOM PROCLAIMS NAPS4ALL!
And so, dear reader, all three piggies had
their turns running wild as "free-range pigs"
and we even opened lil'Vinny's cage door
which turns into a ramp and covered it with
a cuddle cup insert so he was able to run full-throttle all about then in and out of his cage which pleased him no end because then he realized all that
Socratic philosophizing on the merits of wheatgrass vs. romaine lettuce, carrots, and yellow peppers had done him good after all!
Love you.
Mu-AAHH!
From PandaPig's New Free Range
p.s. mom update, some good days (?) some less so.
not able to take migraine pain meds and feels like
got a bullet in my head and hard to see, read.
little energy, but always welcome thoughts I have
ALL OF YOU DEARS,
will blog and email when able...some days
feel frustrating and defeated; others the
warrior inside dances until I just flop into bed
with renewed determination and ecstatic,
exuberant joy! Most of the time feels
like I have a bullet in my head. And that
makes me CrazyHeadWoman. Please forgive me.
It has changed my personality to have
a bullet in my head. But this, too, shall pass.
And I have all of you. What more could
I possibly ask for? Only more gratitude
to be grateful for the good stuff and
make nothing of the rest...
You complete me.
SHIP'S AHOY,
I SPY THE PIRATE
WASHING UP
IN HIS CUDDLE CUP AS
MOM PROCLAIMS NAPS4ALL!
And so, dear reader, all three piggies had
their turns running wild as "free-range pigs"
and we even opened lil'Vinny's cage door
which turns into a ramp and covered it with
a cuddle cup insert so he was able to run full-throttle all about then in and out of his cage which pleased him no end because then he realized all that
Socratic philosophizing on the merits of wheatgrass vs. romaine lettuce, carrots, and yellow peppers had done him good after all!
Love you.
Mu-AAHH!
From PandaPig's New Free Range
p.s. mom update, some good days (?) some less so.
not able to take migraine pain meds and feels like
got a bullet in my head and hard to see, read.
little energy, but always welcome thoughts I have
ALL OF YOU DEARS,
will blog and email when able...some days
feel frustrating and defeated; others the
warrior inside dances until I just flop into bed
with renewed determination and ecstatic,
exuberant joy! Most of the time feels
like I have a bullet in my head. And that
makes me CrazyHeadWoman. Please forgive me.
It has changed my personality to have
a bullet in my head. But this, too, shall pass.
And I have all of you. What more could
I possibly ask for? Only more gratitude
to be grateful for the good stuff and
make nothing of the rest...
You complete me.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
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