APOLO BITES MOM'S HAND!

Slideshow | Day 9: Ohno makes history in 1000m | NBC Olympics | Olympic Zone

THAT WOMAN'S HAND! WHO BIT IT?!

HARMONYS DIDN'T BITE ANYBODY'S HAND!

Just look at that face! Harmonys is Bear's friend. She only kisses Mom.

"WELL, I CERTAINLY DIDN'T BITE ANYONE'S HAND. APOLO'S HOT!"

"I DID NOT BITE THAT WOMAN'S HAND, EITHER."

For once, somebody's telling the truth around here. Meet Sir Dom, the Italian Greyhound (or Iggie) that mom's friend, Ann who lives in Seattle, brought over today for playtime! Mom and Ann hadn't seen one another in years and Ann brought lots of neat stuff, like flowers, and food, and Sir Dom! Fresh kale for us (even though certain pigs, whose names I won't mention, like Bear and YumYum didn't deserve it)

Sir Dom is a royal dog and possesses the courage of a knight...but something about the Buddha statue out on the deck...well, the courage of a knight, as we were saying.

Mom and her friend and Sir Dom had the best time. And nobody bit mom's hand today.

We hope they come back soon!!

YUM-YUM DENIES BITING ALLEGATION!

Note from Editor: we are allowing Yum-Yum to publish his first post.  He is still a baby but he has long teeth.


YUM-YUM: EVERYBODY is saying I did this to mom, but I didn't.


Note from Editor: Yes, he did.  And then, once her hand was out of the cast and she was about ready to start physical therapy, BEAR BIT HER IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE! We will allow Bear to post a response:

 "I DID NOT BITE THAT WOMAN'S HAND!"

Note from Editor: Yes, he did.  Two days ago.

CANADIANS DENY ALLEGATIONS OF LOSS TO AMERICAN OLYMPIC HOCKEY TEAM!

Note from Editor: Yes, they did.  They did lose.  But, on the bright side...

Pssssst, PANDA, I GOTTA CONFESSION

YOU DID WHAT?

YOU BIT MOM'S HAND?

AFTER WHAT YUM-YUM DID?

YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!

O.K. MAYBE NOT AS MUCH TROUBLE AS THE CANADIAN HOCKEY TEAM IS IN AFTER LOSING TONIGHT TO THE AMERICAN HOCKEY TEAM, BUT YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!

TOO MUCH EXCITEMENT!

We love Olympics as much as the next guinea pig, but today with all the speedskating, long and short track, we are worn out! Mom gets excited, then she gets quiet, then she starts screaming (some nice words, some not so nice) and then she gets quiet and tells us, "I don't believe it!"

We don't believe it, either.

The following (or preceding?) post is only a small sample of what we are putting up with.

We miss Edwin. He doesn't sleep at night and he taught us how not to sleeep at night, too. Because our cages are right next to mom's bed, she is not completely happy with Edwin.

We used to sleep at night when she turned out the lights and said, "Good night, all you little piggies. I love you, sweet dreams, see you in the morning."

Not any more. Since Edwin was here, nights have become a BigPigaPaLooza!

Wu-Hoooo! She is not completely happy with Edwin. But Ohno did good.

PIGGIES SCREAM "OH, NO!"

Slideshow | Apolo Ohno over the years | NBC Olympics

SO, we're all hacked into the final 1,000 meter men's short-track when the screen goes blank and mom starts saying naughty, naughty things to whoever keeps blacking out the hackers right before the premiere races start.

Seriously, naughty words.

She's on the phone with Edwin because he is in Seattle in front of a television and, because NBC is gaga, he cannot watch the race live, even though he is only hours away, in the same time zone.

Mom's naughty words work, and the screen flashes back on as they are introducing the skaters. Two Koreans, two Canadians, and our hero, Apolo.

She watches the race with Edwin on the phone and it starts out with Ohno in gold-medal position behind the two Canadian brothers, Ohno starts passing, and it appears the two Koreans are going to be left in the dust.

Not.

Then a melee on the screen and mom starts SCREAMING "NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo!" as the two Koreans pass everybody, one of the Canadians pushes Ohno, and it looks like a melee, an imminent crash...

Then mom says lots more naughty words.

Then her friend Ann calls, watching it live on Camano Island and mom takes the call, loses Edwin, whose cell phone battery has died, and the two scream and shout that at least Ohno got bronze and made Olympic history.

Personally, as a guinea pig, I think Eric Heiden's performance at Lake Placid is Epic. Not to mention Bonnie Blair, and especially the heroic story of Dan Jensen! But Ohno did good, he did real good. And all those other things happened before we were born. We just heard about them on  GPSN (GuineaPigSportsNetwork.)

People can be inspiring. We might share the other stories with you later. Mom might let Yum-Yum see her skates and sit in them if he promises not to chew the laces, the leather, pee, or poo in them.

Mom just changed her mind.

Humans can be inspiring.  And they can baffle us.  It's all part of the fun, I guess.  Panda Out!

THAT WOMAN'S HAND

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