"SHORTS"...You Are Missed...

DEDICATED TO SHORTS
AND ConniElfPie...

With love.
Rainbow tears.
Hugs.
 and Prayers you 
hear together
in the Silence of both 
your Blessed Hearts.


November 20, 2010.
(thank you, CD3, for the date.)

POO-HATTERY FOR HAIR FLATTERY

Winter fell suddenly upon us with no warning (except the daily flashing of The Weather Channel icon on our computer and week-long Winter Storm Alerts from T.V. meteorologists in Seattle and...)

As blowing snow piles up in the mountains and gale force winds batter the Strait of Juan de Fuca, trees CRASH onto power lines causing power outages so you may not hear from us briefly.

We simply wish to state ON THE RECORD that since all our cozy new fleece huts, tunnels, and cuddle cups are here, we SHALL ENDURE WHATEVER NATURE THROWS OUR WAY...except for one thing: mom's hair. all we care about is mom's hair... Naturally curly hair in winter simply plasters itself flat to her face so, for the Good of All we created a special line of hats for her using fresh timothy hay with wet poo as adhesive. She is sure to love them!
The photographs from the art gallery inspired us to become creative in covering her up...not to say she needs covering up or anything...but, confidentially, we prefer our PooHattery to what you see here.

And - oh, puh-LEASE don't buy into the "NO FLY ZONE" propaganda. We know things. The deal? She wears her PooHats and we don't tell. Capiche? Of course capiche!

And Now, A Word From One of Our Sponsors...

Please read on...

"11-11-11"

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated...I hold that, the more helpless a creature is the more entitled it is to protection (by people) from the cruelty (of human kind.)"
~ Mahatma Gandhi


Today is 11-11-11, a landmark day for each of us to commit ourselves, not only to championing the cause of our non-human brethren, but also to do one act of kindness today for whomever is brought our way.


We of the Guinea Pig Nation DECLARE 11-11-11 as: "InterGalactic Compassion For All Day."
(Yes, it is also Veterans Day and we thank those who have served and  sacrificed on behalf of our freedom.) Let's extend our sacrifices to include all living beings!


I, MacNutPie, do swear upon a fine leaf of lettuce, to uphold this oath by reminding mom that when people act startled when she tells them about our Guinea Pig Sanctuary, to educate them that we are as entitled to the same rights, to be loved, cared for, fed, sheltered, and treated with the same compassion any human would expect for his or herself and family. 
We are family, too!


And, we are compelled to say this, and you are free to respond honestly and take it to heart or not, but PLEASE CONSIDER NOT EATING US!


 PLEASE CONSIDER NOT EATING MEAT, FISH, OR FOWL. PLEASE CONSIDER BECOMING A VEGETARIAN BECAUSE IT IS ONE OF THE MOST COMPASSIONATE ACTS A HUMAN CAN GIFT - NOT ONLY TO HIS OR HER SELF, BUT TO ALL OF LIFE AND THE HEALTH OF THIS PRECIOUS, LITTLE BLUE PLANET EARTH, HANGING SUSPENDED IN SPACE AS A BEACON OF HOPE FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS.


For more information about becoming a vegetarian from the standpoints of human, animal, and planetary health, we recommend
The Compassionate Diet by our friend
and mentor Arran Stephens, founder of Nature's Path Organic Foods, North America's largest organic breakfast foods company, and Eliot Jay Rosen.  Arran has been our friend for many years
and all proceeds from this book are donated to charitable causes.

Glen Hansard/Marketa Irglova Falling Slowly on Letterman - YouTube

Dedicated to Someone Who Will Never See This...from "Once"

Falling slowly...I can't go back.

Glen Hansard/Marketa Irglova Falling Slowly on Letterman - YouTube

^^^The film was made by a group of friends in Ireland on a shoestring budget

then went on to win the Oscar for best soundtrack that year after also winning

at Sundance Film Festival. We love it.

A Night At The Gallery!

We love the metal sculptures this artist makes. She lives on one
of the islands and has to take the ferry to deliver them, then take the ferry home...they are so full of whimsy!

Rick always has great music but this woman is truly AMAZING! She sounds so professional and we have heard her a few times around town, at flea markets, where everyone pretty much STOPS to listen and ask why she doesn't have a recording contract. There is so much talent here and that's what Rick wants ARTISANS to showcase. He doin' a good job o'THAT!

There's so much to see at ARTISANS since the other galleries in town specialize either in painting, glass, pottery, woodworking...but ARTISANS HAS IT ALL AND MORE. So people loves just wandering through the gallery making surprise discoveries!

These were among the first metalworks brought by the lady from the Island. Mom was there when Rick tried to hang these by himself trying to attach them to old, rusty snow tire chains hanging from the wall. Adjacent to this "installation-in-progress" was pottery on one side with glass on the other. The sculptures - not yet attached, swung back and forth, side-to-side like a metronome! Mom observed Rick with an unsolicited running commentary on whether he was going to smash the glass first or the pottery first,  if/when he or the sculptures should accidentally fall crashing to the floor. He calls her "Trouble." But he did it!

Hello, Mr. Happy Clockmaker! We love your woodworking as much as you seem to enjoy making it...so beautiful...your smile!

We never figured out what these were but we thought they were very pretty and lots of fun.

Especially the weiner dog! Could be flags or...any guesses?

Today was the last day before Winter! We expect heavy winds,
rain, power outages and snow to begin tomorrow and continue...until spring...or all year 'round if it anything like last year.
The perfect time for a jaunty, handmade hat!

One of the many "breakables" situated next to the swinging metal sculptures Rick installed...glass is really big here in the PacNW and those little colorful balls on the bottom left resemble the glass globes that routinely float onto our shores from Japan fishing vessels...mom doesn't understand it, but people find them and cherish them and what they have to do with fishing...maybe once used to mark nets? But these were made just to BE WHAT THEY ARE. No fish. Just color!

Reuben  recently returned home to Bellingham after running his own music club up in Homer, Alaska or somewhere. He performed later and sounded so much like Glen Hansard from one of our favorite independent foreign films, "Once" which he took as a compliment. We love the film and soundtrack except when mom sings along with Glen when he is kind of hollering out the musical sound of unrequited love...

Don't sound so good when mom singin' so we has to hide until the screeching stops...Ain't no Marketa Irglova, our mom. Those opera lessons only makes it worse...and that a story you will never hear!

Speaking of "Once," if there's one thing Rick hates, it's having his picture taken! So, mom follows him around with her camera just to annoy him but ONCE caught this photo she loves because it reminds her of an impressionistic painting. He gives her "the eye"
and threatens her while she shoots away. But this kinda artsy, ya think? He pretty on the eyes and always in motion during Friday Night Art Receptions.

Rick greeting art fans in front of mom's cards...see how they is dressed? That considered FORMAL WEAR up here! The guy on the left carves spindles and does some kind of weaving thing with them...

It got so crowded last Friday night that Rick re-assigned mom who was sitting on her walker to a card rack full of art made by this little girl's brothers...they are like 10 and 8 years old, one a photographer and one a painter! But mom, of course, hit it off with their sister
who taught mom how to do this so they both became CupHeads
all night long. Cup-Head mom didn't sell much art...although one person was overheard looking at cards saying: "Wow! SOMEBODY WAS REALLY TRIPPIN' HERE!" 
That observation slid mom back into "The Order of the Perpetually Perplexed" as she pondered its meaning.
For a nano-second. Then back to CUP-HEAD, which felt quite lovely with the little girl's flashing way-cool sneakers adding flair!

Who doesn't love jewelry?
(Besides mom.)

Some of the most stunning pieces were done with hand-blown glass. Jewelry cases and wall space filling up fast as word gets out about ARTISANS and more and more artists want "in" on the action! Turning into the hip, So-Ho, bohemian kinda place mom always dreamt of. Unpretentious (been there, done that:mortifying!) just down-to-earth, whimsical, surprising, crafty, amazing, startling, fun, imaginative, and pure B'Hamster COOL. Yeah, baby, THAT WHAT WE TALKIN' ABOUT!

Mom's bff back in Iowa sent her a sign she found in the small town of Muscatine where she makes jewelry and her husband is the editor of the Muscatine Journal newspaper. It was a sign that said:
Ginney Pigs 4 Sale
$30.00 The lowest I will go is $20.00.
light brown with a little white + red eyes

Apparently, mom used that sign as the prototype for her own highly professional version of "self-promotion?"

We can dress her up in cowboy boots, but, you know.

Still, lots of fun and once mom recovers our cages will get cleaned proper and life will blossom with spectacular winter storms, gale-force winds, power outages, snow, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and organizing gear for the many adventures we dream of having in the mountains...mom says even if ya can't go, it's fun to organize GEAR cuz ya NEVER KNOW!

OUR CAGES COME FIRST: SHE KNOW THAT!
Sweet dreams, dear readers and friends.

Whadda-Whadda-Whadda?

"Mom, am I getting in the Guinea Pig Magazine again?"

"Yes, dear, of course you are! Just not this next issue because we think Taj and Raj Mahal are going to be in it. But you will be again."

"Really?"

"Of course, you are so sweet and irresistable! HOW COULD YOU NOT, precious darling?"

"Because we received a coded message from the Lord of the Flies who said..."

"WHO SAID WHO WANTS FRESH CARROTS, CARROT TOPS, SPINACH, AND A LONG RUNABOUT TONIGHT IN YOUR NEW COZY-HUTS, CUDDLE-CUPS, AND FLEECEY-TUNNELS?!"

"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

"WE DO! WE DO!"

                                                              

the end. with a little luck.

FAME!

As heartbroken as Taj and Raj Mahal are, respectively, over yesterday's tragic events, they have BIG NEWS! THIS HERE PHOTOGRAPH gonna appear in the next issue of the international Guinea Pig Magazine. (without their sentimental captions.) FAME! Helps a cavy get over grief almost as fast as you can say: WHEEEEEEEEK! or SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE! or

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

LOW FLOW & NO PLACE "TO GO"

We here in the Pacific Northwest live green lives.
Lives that, unfortunately, mean low-flow ----what you see above.
VERY low flow.
After the horrific trauma of mom's consumation of The Fly We Loved, an emergency call was made to Maintenance.
Not just for our unit.
She had even broken the one downstairs open to the Public.
Two, count two. Since maintenance confiscated the
Remains of the Fly
we were not able to hold a proper service to process
the profound grief we all felt...
Mom wanted to ask the maintenance man if...
WE REQUESTED SHE NOT!
We like living here.
All we can say is that the fly took out two low-flow
(you know's) with him. He would have made a fine
soldier, that one. We  miss him.
We think he was a Special Ops Fly, since he
was training, in caffeine, on Sea, Land, and the
NEVERWORLD of mom's...you know.
A SEAL Fly. A Special Fly.
Who will always be remembered every time the
not the-brightest-bulb in the pack maintenance man
asks mom: "Did anything unusual drop in there?"
We feel relatively confident he will
NEVER ASK HER THAT AGAIN.

In the immortal words of Jack Nicholson from the film
"A Few Good Flies"

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

Indeed.

GUILTY!

No matter how much she soft-focuses the Face of truth, the truth is TERRIBLE and we editorially do not cover up mom's wrong-doing no matter how many soft-shuffle dances she does...we don't know what that means. It doesn't matter.

Here's what does, that her "experiment" in nonviolence towards flies has ended tragically...
SHE ATE ONE WHOLE FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING! YUP!

"In my defense - "

"YOU HAVE NO DEFENSE, MOM, AND A MILLION NEW CUDDLE CUPS AIN'T GONNA COVER UP THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU DID! SHAME ON YOU!"

"YumYum, if put into context - "

"SHAME ON YOU!"

"Would you at least explain what happened and how it happened?"

"FINE! So, mom got up and made coffee: SHAME ON YOU!"

"Can we move this along, YumYum? I drink coffee every day, shade-grown, bird-friendly, free-trade,
organic..."

"FINE, mom, whatEVER! So, mom makes her coffee then does something, who knows what...then goes back into the kitchen she has been allowing the flies to in live rent-free, although, admittedly there are fewer than last summer...she checks the surface of the coffee, because they are also Pacific Northwest flies, so they seem to go more for java than anything else - "

"And I did NOT SEE ONE FLY, YumYum - "

"Right, she did not see one fly. BUT SHE DRANK ONE WHOLE! SHE SWALLOWED A WHOLE FLY! ATE AND DRANK A FORMERLY LIVING, BREATHING CHILD OF GOD:
WHOLE!"

"I didn't know it was in there, YumYum - they ususually float on the top and I can save most of them from drowning...how many happily caffeinated flies have I saved from drowning in JavaBliss?"

"GUILTY OF FLY CONSUMATION! SHAME ON YOU, MOM,
SHAME ON YOU!"

"The only thing I am guilty of is after realizing I had just swallowed something, and we still don't KNOW exactly WHAT...is exclaiming 'UH-OH, OH-NO I DIDN-T! NO! NO! NO!' out loud."

"And yet you did so now we and the whole world knows! You had a fly for breakfast, mom. You have a fly carcass in you, in the belly of the beast!
THAT JUST NASTY!"

"YumYum, I drank the coffee to help the migraine so I can go to the Big Farm Store and get everything I need to do a deep-clean of all your cages today so you can all have and enjoy your new cuddle cups, huts, tunnels..."

"Really?"

"Yes. And my head, my aching head. But do I let that stop me? NO!"

"Carry on, then. Justice has been served."

YumYum OUT!

Happy Mr. MacNutPie

Who's a happy pig? I a happy pig! Finally, CoconutPie gonna get her custom "hut" and she gonna quit stealing my cuddle cup big enough even for the Mighty Mac, that's right, y'all, I is the Mighty-Mac: just look at me! Am I beautiful or what? Happy, content, so full even left a morsel for a lil'snack later while I just chillax and feel the happiness that comes from being ME! And no more losing my cuddle cup to that little flirt who takes what she wants, just makes sure nobody sees her, so her reputation as a "kind, gentlePiggie" remains intact.

Mom seen her, though! That why she got Coco her own NutHut! Yeah, the "NutHut" gonna be a load o'worry off me...and my dear Coco gonna love it!

It cold, wet, dark, grey, and gloomy outside but in here, THE MAC RULES! We is all happy pigs now!

SQUEEEEEEEE, HAPPY ME!

love,
The Mac

SQUEE-PA-LOOZA!

THANK YOU, GENEROUS DONOR &
THANK YOU, JEN FOR THE ADORABLE
HUT YOU DONATED AND SEEMS LIKE
AN EXTRA PAD GOT THROWN IN ALONG
WITH A TINY EGGPLANT (FROM YOUR
GARDEN?) THE SIZE OF A DIME! TOO
CUTE!
OUR GOODIES CAME! OUR GOODIES CAME!

Mom not feeling well but made it to the Post Office to see if OUR GOODIES CAME AND
OUR GOODIES CAME with lots of extra pads so if we wee or poo (US? NEVAH!) she can
switch it out with a new, dry one while she washes the dirty one (MOM? LAUNDRY? NEVAH!)

She was so excited that she actually opened the box at the Farm Store that "gifts" us
to her & then they got so excited they pulled everything out and began fondling our
stuff,  ooohing and ahhing and not way eager to put anything BACK.

Then they sez "we could SELL these here!" but what they was really thinking was "We could
TAKE THEM here and KEEP THEM here and NEVER LET THEM GO anywhere" so mom
thanked them for "sharing" (and the free food they donate for Calvin!) then off she went to
buy us fresh, organic goodies and kind up bulk up since she pretty sick and know she may
not be shopping for a few days...

Once she feel betta, we gonna set up our Runabout for a photo-shoot and can't wait! Meanwhile,
THE BIG QUESTION is the equal distribution of goods amongst herd members so some guineas
don't "borrow" things they never return...

LIKE CALVIN TAKING MY TUNNEL! ME WANTS IT BACK, IT MINE, ALL MINE, NOW HE
GET THE NEW ONE AND I GETZ MY TUNNEL BACK...CALVIN ALWAYS GETS HIS WAY,
DON'T THINK WE DON'T NOTICE! Just cuz he ain't got real bones. Well, mine is spondyankled!
That oughta count for somethin! SpondyAnkled...yeah, mebbe I should get more than one o'these...

YumYum goin' AFTER GOOD STUFF! LATER!

FOR ALL THE GENEROSITY WE HAVE BEEN SHOWN: MANY GRACIOUS THANKS!