FECAL IMPACT!

Guinea Lynx :: Impaction

^^^W.H.A.T. the ^^^?!

Or, the "We Is In Trouble NOW Event of 2011."

This what mom think she gonna do, her very

first Do It Yourself project...couldn't she just make

a popsickle-stick-puppet or something artsy?

Nope, she gonna clean up places never meant
for cleaning...All 'cause YumYum got an infarction -

{EDITOR: "Impaction, an anal impacation, dear."}

Dear Lord:  RAPTURE US - NOW!

Nothing Good Can Come From This...

"Psssst! Taj, is it safe to come out?"
"She gonna get ya one way or the other, so you may as well.
Or, better yet, stay in the pigloo; more hay for me."
"No, seriously, is she around?"
"She's lying down. But it's only to gain the strength and
energy for the You Know What!"
"This is all YumYum's fault, y'know, him and his stupis
anal impactions...always had 'em, why can't she just take
him to the vet like she always does?
"Ain't got the energy, this gonna be a genuine DIY project..."
"We are in SO MUCH TROUBLE NOW!"
"Ya think? It's gonna be nasty. Worse than what she got
growing in that fridge! Even all those flies can smell it...
hasn't emptied the thing in how many days?"
"You're in denial, Taj, this isn't about the fridge. This is
all the Internet's fault, that she thinks she gonna be able to
Do This Herself!"
"Ain't gonna let her, that's all."
"How you gonna stop her?"
"I dunno yet, thinkin' about it, though, gonna find a way."
"Until you do I goin' back in. Lemme know when she AWAKENS."
"No worries, it'll be awhile."
"YumYum gonna get it now, gonna get it bad, real bad, he know yet?"
"Nope."
"Good."
"Yup."
"Nothing good can come from a Do It Yourself Fecal Impaction Procedure
at home with warm water and mineral oil, she don't even know the difference
between our...y'know...and our...y'know."
"Nope, she don't."
"She gonna find out real fast, though, don't ya think?"
"Yup! REAL FAST! YumYum loves her like crazy, but he ain't goin' for a home
fecal impaction oil & lube, know that f'sure!"
"Yeah, think he'll bite her?"
"Dunno, that was an accident. He was gunnin' for Bear the Beaver Pig and she
stuck her hand between them and got it! But he didn't mean to bite her."
"What you think he gonna do?"
"Dunno, depends...ain't gonna be nice, ain't gonna smell nice, ain't nothing nice
gonna come of it, especially cuz she read she needs to keep all our bums clean and
free of poo pieces, hay, litter, and stuff...with warm water and mineral oil and -
sigh...we is in big trouble."
"Roger that, big, smelly, nasty trouble, cuz she gonna find things back there they don't even
mention online...I know cuz I can feel 'em!"
"And that why she doin' it, my BROTHER, THAT WHY WE ALL GETTING A BUTT BATH,
likes it or not, our time is nigh."

oh my.

What Gets Me Through a Day

Dear Friends,

It's the Editor posting tonight, or early this morning, to thank all of you for your love and well-wishes here at Panda Pig's Peace Sanctuary. You probably know that I am not feeling well and that things appear to be weakening over time...my new awesome doctor is thorough and we will be doing tests a little at at time since they are pretty uncomfortable and I have only so much energy for, well, ya know:
INCOMING - ICK FACTOR TEN!

The fact that I really cannot be on the Stream is being offset by so many of you beginning your own blogs, share sites, and stuff that gives me a chance to still feel connected to each and every one of you...hoping always to at least make it to Molly Movie Night in my owlie pj's, yes, we can still wear flannel here at night - just wanting to tell you that however we continue to stay in touch means the world to me because I really need your support. And wish equally to extend the same to you. We are all in this together: MODS for Life!

I am attempting to start up two new businesses: one to support the Guinea Pig Sanctuary through cards and photographic gp art; the other to sell my own whacky "animurals" although learning my way around a website is as much fun as a colonoscopy! SQUEEE! NOT THAT I HAVE HAD ONE...but the cards come first because the guinea pigs do, so the art will just have to take a back seat until we are earning our keep at the Farm Store.

There's a weakness, pain, and utter lifelessness in my body that just makes me want to cry when I wake up in the morning only to find I am not going to be getting out of bed, the day is cancelled, but there are still six guinea pigs, four extra large cages, eight water bottles, four food bowls, hay, litter, cuddle cups, and more to clean that I can even wrap my mind around, and precious little physical strength...yet, our new ritual of cuddling in bed together at dusk, one pig at at time: man, it's so good! For all my MODS enduring the trials and tribulations of Job right now, let's stay together, laugh like the madwomen and madmen we know we really ARE, and keep the faith!

Any old way you wanna fly-by the PigPen and give us a Rosie the Riveter thumbs up is fine by us!

Love you all, each and every one o'ya's wise guy mooks in black sheep clothing.

Hidey-Ho, and away we ain't going!
Editor-in-Captivity of Pigs Gone Wild and the sequel: PigZ Gone WildeR!
(((Horks&Hisses&GuineaPigKisses)))
1Skatr

Who Sick? Mom Sick? OOoh, so sad..."HEY! TREATS IN BED! SQEEEEE!" sad, so sad...

HEY, CUT OUT ALL TALK WITH THAT "dremel" words, we iZ outlaws, and ain't nobody dremelling nuttin' no how, no way, not evah, NEVAH! Now, as you all know, I have become Coconut's new, um, "domestic partner" and she is civilizing me, whether I like it or not. Look at my pretty pearly whites but, friend, do not fear for your life for I am not YumYum:  I am MacNutPie, grandpig of Mama and Papa Partridge, and secretly Papa's "caption-whisperer" but don't tell Kestra or Sacto Sylvia! It might be illegal, but how else you think that man a Triple Crown Winner, huh?
Even think about it? Well, take a moment now to ponder: How dat man win THREE?! me, me ME! SQUEEEEEEE!

Sincerely,
Mac The NutPiePartridge "Caption WhispererrrRRR"

OH, MOM TAKING A SICK DAY...

You never hear from me, do you? Even know who I am? Well, I came here as a baby with Erica, who was my tribal elder, big sister, mentor, medicine woman...after she passed mom was afraid I would die of grief...guinea pigs do, it's in that article "Things Your Guinea Pig Wants You to Know" two posts back that you probably didn't read because, as usual, it's always about YumYum, but if you press the red letters you really will learn a lot about us.

You see, I am the good one. The quiet one (unless I am really hungry and then? mmmm, not so quiet!) but I am a different looking cavy, no one wanted me because my eyes bulge out and my face looked a little smashed in like a bug...I dunno, always been different, so very shy.

But when mom is sick she looks so much worse than me on a bad day! And I mean it kindly, for I am a kindly girl. The ONLY girl, so you can be forgiven for not being used to the "kind" word, it's O.K. and I understand. So, mom is under the weather and last night instigated a new policy: starting at dusk, every pig gets lap time, or in mom's case, lay down in bed and munch carrots while she pretends to be alive...and you would have thought Calvin is her favorite? Think again! Calvin is spoiled already, now he fusses for attention all the time. But, I have my ways. I remain quiet, in the background, and when mom reaches into the cage, I don't resist or bite or kick and demand the snack
while we are "in the air" enroute to destination Bed. I am lovable. Did you know that? I didn't. Until now. So, every night we ALL HAVE mom time, treats, get combed with the teeny-tiny comb she got that one of the boys got his mites all over: ICK! But, after grooming my coat is stunningly smooth and silky, which means that I actually AM A SILKY, it's a real thing, and I have so many colors in my fur that gleam and glisten like earthen gems. But, do you think the boys compliment me? Mom does! Sigh...it's hard being the only girl. But now that I feel less shy you will learn more about being the only sister in this big family of Bad BoyZ, Bad BoyZ, whatcha gonna do (besides BITE HER?!) WHEN SHE COMES FOR YOU?

Love and yours gently,
Coconut, named by Kezia Stansbury! Shout out to Kezia: HI, IT'S ME, FINALLY NOT TOO SHY TO STEP OUT!

CALVIN! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! HEY...

See, this is the thing...sure I get a big space and lots of toys and my very own owlie rug for runarounds, but lil Calvin got mom wrapped around all the parts of him that didn't get neutered! Check it out: he has a big, fluffy, soft, cat bed but - hey - not only that, it comes with a plush Indian blanket for him to cuddle and fall asleep beneath while mom pets him, cooing sweet nothings while he fusses for more petting, more love, more stories about how he is really Calvin the large...well, ENOUGH ALREADY!

CALL ME AN OUTLAW! Watch me not care! Cuz i gotta plan, see, a good plan, gonna hop over this pathetic fence mom thinks is gonna keep me in my play/runaround area and i gonna SURPRISE Calvin the small with a friendly little visit! One that may end up having mom return to the hand surgeon, ya, sue me! The one whose staff kept asking mom, "Now WHAT bit you, a cat, dog, wolf? What?" because her hand was infected with red streaks past her elbow and my teeth actually went through tendons and ligaments and if we weren't vegan, imagine the possibilities! Yeah, gonna hop this fence and get this partay started! S.E.A.L. Team YumYum: INCOMING!
mu-Ah-ha-Ha! Mu-Ah-HA-HAAAAAAAAA!

Things Your Guinea Pigs Want You To Know

Things Your Guinea Pigs Want You To Know

We wanted to share this information for those of you

wondering why we are the way we are making mom

be the way she is. Because she is our slave and no

amount of denial will convince otherwise. Humans

think they know stuff. They get a guinea pig. Then

they find out they really need two guinea pigs for

one guinea pig to be truly happy. Then those two

guinea pigs conspire to overthrow the human

government by enlarging their armed forces!

Then the human tries to neuter us to disarm us

but all we do is continue drafting new orphans

"too cute to resist" and after enough neutering,

we became a "don't ask, don't tell" Force openly

enlisting female cavies to strengthen our cause.

When we still felt we could do more to overcome

our human's habits and train her to cater to our

every whim, we finally brought in the "big gun"

Calvin, the small, our first un-neutered male!

Mom pulled out her white flag and surrendered!

BOO-YA! We have discovered strength in diversity

and want to share our little secret with any species

whose person or people still have a life of their own:

THAT AIN'T RIGHT! WE ARE THEIR LIFE, AND

NOBODY AND NOTHING ELSE can distract them...

oh, sure, last summer there were these barn owls

ya, but we not only watched them with mom, two

of us learned how to mimic Molly the Owl and,

although it can happen that occasionally one will

enjoy the companionship of a female cavy capable of

mimicking bird sounds, Taj Mahal is male! And we

forgot who else did it. So, Molly and McGee was an

experience shared by all. Otherwise, mom don't get

none...we advocates not through legislation, phooey!

We are not democratic, we are Czars, Kings, Queens,

Royalty. If you know THAT, you know EVERYTHING
YOUR GUINEA PIGS WANT YOU TO KNOW!

Peace Out,

YumYum

Welcome Home, Cowboy!

Resistance is Futile...

Peace, Love, and WHAT?!

What Time Did You Say It Is?

Oh Yeah, Baby, that's the way, Uh-Huh Uh-Huh, we LIKES IT, Uh-Huh Uh-Huh!

HEY - Oh, who are we kidding? The're Right...

WheeeeeeeK! Squeeeeeee! We is guinea pigs and it's fun being me! Gotta press ^on pic to read what it says, but it speaks Truth! It's always about US! Squeeeek-A-Wheeeeek!