WHO NEEDS A PUPPIE? (hee-hee)

We of the Guinea Pig Nation
have hereby herewith
chosen to use our
5 Minutes
Bequeathed Upon Us
By The Royal Egg-Timer
to Inform the Public
That these boxer Puppies
are for sale...
And ConniEEE
misses her precious SHORTS
yet is not convinced
that the dark-muzzled puppy
all warm and floppy and
waiting for his special forever home
with Connie...
should have his dream come true.
We respect that. We can't adopt
every single guinea pig in need
of a forever home.
We simply wish we could.
Just like the puppy wishes
he could.
But, let's get practical because,
if love is ANYTHING,
it's practical!
Not impulsive.
Uh-UH!

Listen, we only report the news.
We are NOT an advice column!
The "comments column"
is for THAT!

LOVE YOU, CONNIEEEEEEE...
what did you name him?
OH, RIGHT, HE'S NOT YOURS TO NAME.
yet, yet, not yet, but he could be, he really could be, perhaps he should be, perhaps he will be, whada we know?
DEAR READERS,
WHAT SAY YE?!

MUM'S THE WORD!

{Photo of Fairy courtesy of her people. Who we
just may have, once again, forgotten to ask permission to use.
In a slightly altered form...We BAD: so better get to copyRighting our wrongs!
 Ta-Ta!}

Sometimes, when mom goes missing

as she does with her migraines,

we get bored.

So, we like to play with her computer.
And one of our favorite blogs is one 
you simply
MUST ENJOY WITH US!
www.fairymagic.me
because there's nothing like
a little magic
when you love a little fairy!
(please press link under
My Blog List to the right!)

Mom's Brain...on Migraines

You know how it feels when something in the wiring

goes terribly wrong and you don't get to land on the moon

after all?

We don't. But mom not feeling good.

She feels how this looks.

We'll be back soon, that's a promise!

(After all, Houston got Apollo 13 back!)

Just got kinda dicey for awhile there...you know?

We have news, though, BIG NEWS...so, later!

OOPSIE!

HAPPY 28th ANNIVERSARY, MOUNTAIN DEMONSTRATORS!

First, for the sake of her family, BFF Susan is the paragon of virtue.

However, things rapidly deteriorate once she getZ her BuZZ ON!
(Not to mention the family! OMG! Just look at them!)

Finally, the Real Deal: when preparing for the High Country:
THIS IS HOW SHE DO IT!
If you are a mountaineering piggie,
you know that much is made of learning survival skillswhen out in the backcountry.

Things such as avalanches, falling into tree-wells, getting lost in a white-out, getting lost because you're with a guy who refuses to ask for directions,
getting lost because although he brought a compass...he never learned to use it,
beyond saying: "Well, it works! Look, everytime I move it, the red thing points in the same direction." Getting lost because the same guy raced up the mountain ahead of you in his crampons,
with no ice axe to arrest a fall, you don't have a clue where he is, dusk is rapidly falling as the pinkish alpenglow fades,
and he was too damn cheap to buy walkie-talkies, so you are already planning to return those
crampons to the store and never, ever
letting him have another pair!
And he's real lucky nobody 
got an ice axe!

Not that any of those things have
EVER HAPPENED
TO MOM.
Although she now lives alone, with us...hmmm?


The snows have come early, our ski lodge is open, and this post is about mountain preparedness.

EDITOR: "LESSON #1: ditch the guy!"

Mom, not always about you...
(mom: yes, it is.)

MT. BAKER IS NOW OPEN FOR BIZNESS!

MOUNTAIN PREPAREDNESS 101:
IT'S ABOUT THE COFFEE!
THANKS TO BFF Susan, David, and Ami
for their Backcountry-Demonstration-Preparedness
demonstration-demonstration skills! (slu*&&^rp)
David, in real life, was a climbing instructor
up in Alaska and one of the original
founders of Marmot Mountain Works.
Susan met him at a mountaineering class.
(Actually, they met twice in their lives,
on two separate occasions in two different
places with entirely different people
around them, it's quite the
"Meant To Be" love story!)

But Lesson #1 is LESSON #1:
YOU ARE ONLY AS SAFE AS
YOU ARE CAFFEINATED!
Otherwise, you are simply a blob, like you see below,
in your stylish ski togs...
a blob.

TAJ MAHAL DECLARES...

"I have nothing to declare except my genius."

      ~ Oscar Wilde

On behalf of Taj Mahal, and his bi-colored lower lip,
featured in this month's issue of Guinea Pig Magazine.

You may refer to Taj informally as "Chocolate SwirlyFudgeBoy"

Pomegranate Haz-Mat Suits

Ye flavorful, exotic fruit.
Thy colors strange, thy berries cute!
You're sometimes sour, sometimes sweet;
Pomegranates stain our feet!
Now we don our special suits
To keep from staining feetz with fruits.


"The Pomegranate"
~  from "Ruminations on Fruit: Vol. 1"
by Calvin the Small

FOR OUR FRIEND, CONNIE with E...

We found out that today, November 19th, marks
the One Year passing of Shorts who journeyed to
the Rainbow Bridge where he eagerly awaits his
mom and all his friends.

Connie, we love you and we love Shorts and
this is as close to a cyber-hug we we can get...
And we know all of your friends, MOD and non-MOD
(we don't discriminate here) are sending you both
lots of love and more cyber-hugs, knowing we will
all see Shorts when we get to the Rainbow Bridge
where those who we miss so dearly will be with him to greet US!

TONIGHT, NOVEMBER 19, 2011, IS A SPECIAL MEMORIAL FOR YOU AND SHORTS, ALL
THE WHIMSICAL THINGS HE DID TO MAKE
YOU LAUGH, AND THE MEMORIES YOU
BOTH CREATED TOGETHER.

WE LOVE YOU.

For Our Friend, Giz...

Raj took this fetching portrait of me, YumYum, holding mom while we unwrapped her birthday presents together last spring. See, we got this great big box from our friend, Giz, who we love so much that we asked Raj to photograph us opening her gift box so she could be here with us, at least in photos!

She sent us such great stuff. See our smiles? Now Giz fighting for her life with the zeal and passion of a 
real-life Boudicca, Queen of the Iceni!

(Different scholars spell her name differently, but for our purposes, Boudicca was one BOLD&FEISTY WARRIOR QUEEN with unparalleled courage!) 
Just like Giz and her "Lil' Gizzler!"

Gonna BEAT those brain cancers named Harvey:
them's is shrinkin' as we SPEAK!!!

Mom's MOD shirt stands, of course for 
"Molly Obsessive Disorder" which she contracted long ago...which is how she met Giz.

And so many of her friends. One barn owl is all it took...one ordinary barn owl named Molly. And Carlos, and Eric, the book Molly the Owl, and UStream T.V. Yeah, mom a MOD!

But we have yet another reason to feature this photograph. Which you will read about in the next post. If you happen to be "into the small print."

Shhhhh....(yeah, we know! She got BIG BOOBIES, ssshhhhh!)

P.S. Mom holds me with two hands like you're supposed to always hold guinea pigs with two hands
but we counted one of her big boobies as "support" briefly, very briefly and with attention, just
for this particular pic for Giz. What that on
mom's pants? HAY! STUFF! HAY-STUFF.
It everywhere, everywhere, all the time,
no escaping it now! HAY, Y'ALL!
Who LOVES YA, BABY?
YumYum! That WHO!


P.S.S. AND GIZ...
KEEP KICKING HARVEY'S BUTT(s)
ALL OF THEM! WE's ALL WEARING OUR
TUMOR-STOMPIN' BOOTS AND IS JUST ACHING TO GET OUR STEEL-TOED 
FEETS ALL SMOOSHING HIM AND HIS
MALIGNANT MINIONS 
TO SMITHEREENS!
HARVEY(s), BE AFRAID,
BE VERY AFRAID.

Pigs Lie - Guinea Pig Today

Pigs Lie - Guinea Pig Today
^^^Just read this!
Yeah, we knew it! Ya know
how ya have to keep tellin'
your mom or wife or husband
or dog or cat or hedgehog
or porcupine what a good
piggie you really are? And 
it's sooo hard to comprehend
why they don't believe you?


EDITOR: "Could it be that
you lie, little bundles of furry
cuteness? You lie and you
lie BIG, OFTEN, AND 
DRAMATICALLY?
Just askin, is all."


We take umbrage.

Umbrage hath been taken

and we shall say no more.


(Until mom is asleep and
we find her bra, drag it out,
chew it up, then show you
just how BIG the pile is and
log just how many hours it
took to -)


EDITOR: "Who's not taking
their nap?"


ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........!
hee-hee, revenge shall be ours in mere hours...but shhhhhh.

MacNutPie Goes Missing...

Hey, any o'ya seen MacNutPie? He gone missing again...
last seen, he was lookin' over his shoulder like a spy,
mumbling somethin' like: "Hope that heifer doesn't see where
I'm goin' or it's curtains for the Mac!" then he sped away
to an undisclosed location.

Hey, I'm down wid that. No problemo...
except...
WHAT THE *'s a heifer?