EPHEMERA: Early Morning

"You cannot simultaneously
prevent and prepare for war."
~ Albert Einstein

Which begs the question:
"How to simultaneously prevent
and prepare for death?"

 

The Hebrew Wall hanging is
from "Song of Solomon" 6:3,
and translates:
"I am my Beloved's and
my Beloved is mine."
My POI (Person of Interest)
gifted it to me nearly
20 years ago. It isn't up
because we are observing
the Jewish High Holy Days
because I am not observant;
if anything, more of a Sufi...

It is up because the
whole thing is just so damn
breathtakingly beautiful!


 

Seattle wakes up to predicted
record-breaking high temperatures,
Summer's final "Farewell!"
Fortunately, the breeze from
Elliott Bay spares us the swelter
and no piggies will need wrapping
up in cool, moist towels today.
We see flags flying at half-mast.
Yes, it is 9/11. Again.
It always will be now.
Nothing can take it back and we
have been inexorably changed,
each in our own ways.

For me, its ensuing wars are
taking another casualty: health care.
Budget cuts diverted to military ops
overseas and here in America
 prevent my receiving health care.
I returned to Seattle unaware just how much
had changed since last living here. 
BUDGET CUTS!
We live amongst Bill Gates, Microsoft,
AMAZON, Boeing...some of the world's
wealthiest! A block away, people sleep
beneath the freeway. I am fortunate to
even have a home...Just not healthcare.
 

So, Seattle wakes up, that's Century Link
Stadium to the left from my window,
yes, we can actually see into it down to the
field while the roar of the crowd during
Sounders soccer games and Seattle Seahawks
games celebrate with marching bands,
cannons that explode with each point scored,
accompanied by fireworks and cheers that
would pierce the silence of what is not
a sanctuary here, because there never IS
Blessed Silence inside the apartment amidst
the bustle of downtown Seattle. 

Silence only inside what St. Teresa of Avila calls 
"The Interior Castle." (Within, during meditation, prayer, contemplative introspection.)

She guides:
"Let us leave it to the Lord. (For He knows us
better than we do ourselves. And true humility
is content with what is received.)"
~ from Saint Teresa of Avila
translated by Mirabai Starr

Ephemera...questions...how does one keep hope
alive while preparing for a "Do It Yourself"
end of life? Not a fast one. A slow one.

"Why can't you DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?"
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU ASKS...
Because, for whatever reasons, over 20 doctors
at 4 hospitals have botched things up into a muddle and Medicare will not cover inpatient
care without a diagnosis and I am too sick to
endure some of the most important, necessary
diagnostic procedures as an outpatient.
It's that simple. And emergency rooms, First
Responders...ephemera...no longer work.
No diagnosis, no treatment. No treatment,
then it's in the Hands of the Beloved, is it not?

"I am my Beloved's,
and my Beloved is mine."

So, I  comb, snuggle, and cuddle guinea pigs
with a DO NOT RESUSCITATE sign hanging
on the bedroom door. There is nothing to
resuscitate. I am slowly starving due to
as-yet-and-maybe-never undiagnosed
G.I. and Neurological illnesses...
details, details.

Transitions to Hospice  Care workers
ARE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME, Y'ALL!
THEY ARE FUNDED SOLELY THROUGH
DONATIONS, their services free, and they
are doggedly trying to get the hospital to
admit, diagnose, treat, or at the very least,
provide Palliative Care. The Fire Department
has a key to my door because we seem to have
a lot of fires...my dear, precious 95-year-old
neighbor loves to cook. She AMAZES! Every single day she dresses to the nines, and goes
out on town with her walker: astonishing!
INSPIRING!
Errrr...but the cooking part...?
Not so good given she is going blind.
Further, we also have residing amongst
us a serial "fire-alarm" puller!
Yes, living amongst seniors is an
enlightening experience. My neighbors
here are extraordinary, though, and
take care of one another, strangers
in the beginning, yet they will "adopt"
each other and voluntarily find meaning
in caregiving...it's quite touching.
They all clamor to help me. But I do
not know them very well, yet, how much
do I ask, what is reasonable to expect?

You have all asked me to have a positive
attitude and be hopeful.

I am doing my best.

It is difficult to simultaneously hope for
a bright, beautiful future while preparing
for death. Sometimes funny things happen.
And I will try to write about them.
Sometimes hopes get dashed. And I do
not want to write about that.

But one thing that has never ceased is a
Parade of Unending Miracles: a few months
ago The Times of India published a letter I
wrote thanking the editor for all I received
reading and writing on their Speaking Tree
(Spirituality) Pages...so many Indians,
people I may never meet, will never know,
all began praying, doing whatever religious
rituals exist to heal those they love, the
outpouring was a Tsunami that actually
stopped all the pain that was keeping me
from eating! All the pain VANISHED.
And, to this day, it has never but once
or twice been severe!

Last month, my POI, 
(Person of Interest/Soulmate/Caregiver who
 has forbidden me to use his name, identity, or any photos of him: righteously exclaiming:
"I DO NOT WANT A CYBER FOOTPRINT!") 
heh-heh, yeah, right...so... 
"O.K. lang"
(Tagalog for "fine!!!")
 
Anyway, POI was
losing control of the walker on our VERY steep sidewalk before we got a wheelchair and instead
of rolling down into the middle of the street during
rush hour traffic (or all the way down into Elliott Bay, depending...) a delivery van immediately appeared OUT OF NOWHERE, the driver leapt
out of the cab faster than superman could spin in his telephone booth from Clark Kent into his cape, and grabbed the walker, helping POI safely navigate it into the building! We thanked him profusely and this is what he replied:
"That's what I am here for."
Delivery man? Or Angel?
"That's what I am here for."
We bought a wheelchair so the angels don't
have to work quite so hard, but they still do.
Yesterday, a gift came in the mail from a
friend I have never met. It was "loveful."
I just burst into tears, sitting in my wheelchair,
uncontrollably sobbing at how beautiful, how
generous, how kind, how full of Grace Life is.
And in those tears, the Fight I have been losing...
fighting for basic human rights which are allegedly guaranteed by law yet not guaranteed by bureaucrats...I stopped. Fighting. The anger I felt about the injustice of it all melted in her loveful gesture, in her generosity, then a flood of tears remembering ALL OF YOUR LOVE, ALL OF YOUR PRAYERS, ALL OF YOUR GENEROSITY and the anger, indignation, humiliation, the desire to retaliate against those bullying, those making the choice to deny medical treatment because Medicare pays so little...the fight melted. I texted POI "Should I let go?"
POI texted back "Yes, you'll feel lighter."

I do feel lighter.

Hope is in the hands of my Beloved.
(God.)

I cannot read His Mind.
(Nor would I want to, what with everything
happening in the world, There by The Grace of God go we.)

Life is Loveful.
~*~

THEY RESCUE ME!

 

Today, it is the Little Ones who are saving me!
Even Brave Chai with his brain tumor remains
on my pillow, while Squirrel cozies under
the blanket...

You wonder why I haven't told you about this?
I never thought it would happen. We always expected
to get well, so why say anything? We moved to
Seattle with Hope on a Wing & a Prayer.

THAT we still have.

Now you know the truth.

And from your comments below, you are not
abandoning us: so I have to resort to the roll
of Bounty paper towels because you still love me.

Do you know how much you all mean to me?

Ask the roll of Bounty Paper Towels...the tears
it holds speak of how much you all mean to me.

Dear Friends in India, I PREM YOU LIKE CRAZY!
Dear MODS: "Who lurves ya, baby?"
Dear Friends in Iraq, Pakistan, Andorra, Russia, Latvia,
Australia, Great Britain, Germany, Scandinavia, Israel,
and the many numerous countries my STATS
say you are reading this from...I do not know all
of your languages so let's speak in the one
language we do all know: Thank you,
I love you. Your prayers have taken the
heaviness of pain from me, they have!
You friends in India know that.
Friends in America, please know that.
Friends all over the world whose names
and faces are inscribed indelibly upon
my heart in your own language,
please know that...there by the Grace of God Go We.

The doctors have, after nearly one year, done nothing.

Next week will decide, for my window is narrowing rapidly.

But, for the first time, I am experiencing your Love and
Inner Peace comforted at home with my little ones.

L'Shana Tova, here's to a Sweet New Year!

love & gratitude,
Pranams Infinite,
chana&family

"Gone out...
Bisy Backson."
~*~

DYING TO THE BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUMMER...

 

{Photo taken by the Wee-est Kestra,
Experience Music Project Museum
Recording Studio, April, 2013}


Hiya Everybody,
My name is Chana Meddin. I have been told I have a
"sick & twisted" sense of Humor! Seriously?

And I'm dying.
With my beloved cat, Chai.
He has a brain tumor.
We aren't sure yet what I am dying of,
unless it's my sick and twisted sense of humor!

SO! DISCLAIMER:
Those of you near and dear ones who are offended
that I am going to die with my sick & twisted humor
firmly intact, PLEASE LET THIS BE THE LAST
POST YOU READ: I LOVE YOU, DEATH ISN'T
EASY, AND I UNDERSTAND MANY PEOPLE
JUST DON'T LIKE IT. Hey, I don't!

But this is my blog and I'm not going down without
a fighting good laugh about it, so please do not
read me any more if you find it too painful.
I understand and love you and am grateful
you are my friend. It's O.K.
Honest!

That said, it's my death and I'll do what I want to!

Which is to have the best party possible, the most
fun, as many laughs as we can squeeze out of my
crazy life, and I'll cue you when you may need
a hanky. (I use a roll of Bounty super-absorbent
paper towels myself, but this is not and endorsement.)

I am a drummer and when Kestra and the Wee Kestras visited
me this year for my birthday, we rocked & rolled at what was
formerly known as "The Jimi Hendrix Museum," now known
as "The Experience Music Project" Or, for us locals: "EMP."
Days later, we all took a ferry to Bainbridge Island and enjoyed a birthday afternoon I will never forget. Throughout the day,
Wee-est Kestra announced: "I smell horses." Cracked us UP!
So, Kestra and you two (not quite so) Wee Kestras:
THANK YOU! I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!

So, here's the deal. Lots of crazy shit is going down.
It's surreal, but some of it is so absolutely ridiculous
(and tragic, yes, but ridiculous) that it's just funny!

This won't be no morbid party, y'all!

My dear friend and Tai Chi teacher, R. is my
"official Death Doula."
A doula is a nonmedical person who assists a woman
before, during, and after childbirth. I have hired him,
without pay, to assist me before and during dying
because he makes me laugh and laughter is the
best medicine. The guinea pigs help, too!

Just so's ya know, I have finally been guided via a sloth
bear (remind me to tell you that story, too, I just have
limited energy so blogs may be shorter) to a pre-Hospice
"Transitions" program and the women in it are
kicking some medical ass to get me treated humanely!
Love kicking medical ass. They'll also be providing the
support that my Person-of-Interest (NO PICURES,
NO NAME: "I don't want to leave a cyber-footprint!!!)
of 22 + years require for me to die "at home" -
(the place I live in Seattle now, for which the word "home"
is a bit of a stretch, but it is what it is)...I will stay here with
the piggies, dying Chai the Brave Bengal Cat, and our other
cat. We lived in Bellingham and HAD THE TIMES OF
OUR LIVES, CHAI AND I DID! WITH THE PIGGIES.
After my traumatic brain injury a few years ago Chai had
to come back to live with my POI (person of interest) so
now we are all re-united together, all of us:
And it is GOOD.

The possibility always exists that I could get well.

Right now, many loved ones are keeping HOPE alive
and well in their hearts for us. I don't have a helluva
lot of it, but am happy for those who do.

Anyway, the whole journey is new, surreal, tragic, funny,
uncomfortable, and feels like a dream. When I wake up
in the morning only to realize that I am in Seattle, I usually
try to wait until after I've had a little instant, watered-down,
filthy disgusting Starbucks Via instant coffee before I cry.
My stomach hurts too much to drink lattes anymore.

I'm not sure whether I'm crying because I can't drink lattes
or because...oh bloody HORK: INSTANT COFFEE IN SEATTLE?! WHAT AN INSULT!

Anyway, remember that Fleetwood Mac song from their
hit album "Rumors" (I think?)
"You Make Loving Fun"?

Well, my Death Doula makes dying fun, he really cracks me up.

SO! If you think death isn't a laughing matter,
READ NO MORE, PLEASE!!!

Because I deserve to laugh. And this is my blog and I'll laugh if I want to. And I want to.
You are invited to step off the train at this station
with hugs, kisses, and gratitude for having
been part of this Wonderful Life.

Or...you can read the posts that I hope to have the strength to write, because funny things do
happen. And these are what I choose to share
and these are how I lived such a wonderful
life and humor is how I choose a wonderful...
ya know! Like I said, there's always room
for a Miracle! Hope remains!

Meanwhile, me and my cat, we be dying.
All together, with the ones I love and who love us.
With the EXTRAORDINARY support of the
"Transitions" team. It's gonna be a jolly good
show because it's been a JOLLY GREAT LIFE!

And I got to record a DVD with the Wee Kestras
back in April! Thank you, Kestra! Thank you,
Wee Kestras!

Thank you all! I love you. You make living wonderful. And, in my heart, you are helping
me through this transition with love, gratitude, peace, and my sick & twisted sense of humor.

Remember "Winnie the Pooh" and that famous
sign Christopher Robin used to put up when he
left home to go Wandering through
The Hundred Acre Wood:

"Gon out.
Backson.
Bisy. Backson."
C.R.

...going out. See ya soon!
love,
chana

PETER-PEANUT

 

 

It's Peter-Peanut doin' what Peter-Peanut does best!
(Can you figure out what it is? We haven't...
We just loves it.)


 

 

LITTLE BEAUTIFULS...

"But ask the animals and they will teach you..."
Job 12:7

 

Squirrel...the newest "Little Buddha"
on finding Joy ineffable in the
simplest gestures of kindness...



 

Squirrel knows things aren't going well...
all the Little Buddhas do. They want
to cheer me up, so we have
"cuddle time" together on my bed.


 

After a particularly difficult day,
Squirrel did one thing, one thing
that might seem tiny to many,
yet was monumental to me...He
came to my open palm at one
point and placed his paw right
into the middle of it, as if
holding my hand to say,
"Everything is going to be
all right, mom. We love you."
He placed his tiny paw on mine...


 

And, in that moment,
everything was better
than O.K. it was
Beautiful!




 

Then he stretched himself out on my
pillow atop one of the many fleece pads
which you (know who you are) Gifted the
Guinea Pig Sanctuary, and he stayed
with me, soothing and comforting me.



 

Because these are not hiking boots,
snowshoes, cross-country skis,
speedskates; they are my Nordic
hiking Poles, they are not any of
the things I am accustomed to...
two days ago a wheelchair came
and not to rent, but to remain.
And they know I am...not quite
O.K. with it. So they comfort me
in tiny ways which, my friends,
are not tiny at all.

Here in our home, the meek have
inherited my life, given it meaning,
and bring me joy...they are too
precious to remain sad around,
too funny for me to become morbid
around:
they do not allow thoughts of
anything but Wonder: that such
tiny creatures know so much,
feel the pain I feel, never complain,
ask for so little, yet always give their all!

~*~

So many of you have supported the
Guinea Pig Sanctuary throughout the years
and you have also sent me many gifts...
these humble acts may seem small to
you but please know that they are not
now, nor shall they ever be small to me!

I look around from bed and all I see are
Gifts. And all I feel is Loved.

How can that ever be a small thing?

Thank you, my dear friends...

love,
chana

(P.S. At long last we finally have a medical team
doing their very best to diagnose then, hopefully,
treat whatever is causing my body to shut down.
We have struggled 10 months for this, so have
hope. At least we have their reassurance they
will leave no stone unturned. That is all we
have asked for. And We have Hope.)

WHADDA-WHADDA-WHADDA HAPPENED?!

 

Hi Everybody! It's me,
Squirrel. Did you see me in
this month's Guinea Pig
Magazine? If not, you should!
You should see me in EVERY
issue, actually. I'm
too modest to say more...



 

Just too adorable.

But, life in Seattle
is very different from anything
we could have possibly imagined.



 

We live in Chinatown, actually
now called "The I.D." or
International District. Mom
spent lots of time here before
moving to Bellingham, taking
photographs for various small 
newspapers which later got published
 in a book called "Pacific Voices,"
published through
U of Washington's Burke Museum.
(Shameless plug, we bad!)
Studying martial arts
with Bruce Lee's first-ever student,
Jesse Glover, and playing in a
Japanese Taiko performance group,
Chinatown once felt like a second home.

But, see, that was before Bellingham...
Way before.



 

We tried to make the best of it,
truly we have! Exotic food shopping,
just a walker (and STEEP HILL)
away, lots of yummy treats-for-all!


 

Eaten in bed...see, that is just
one part of the Big...
Homesickness.



 

Tried drawing. At least you don't
have to move around much to do that!
 

But here, things went from living
color in our Wilderness Town to
Black & White...no one has
adjusted. Mom got sicker.
And skinnier and skinnier.
When our friend said, like from
the "personal columns"
"Well, you're HWP =
Height-Weight-Proportional"
and mom asked,
"Soooo...if I hear this correctly,
I was a heifer before getting sick?"
Our friend is Asian. It wasn't his
fault that he didn't know what a
heifer was and said "Yeah!"
In his defense, he was just trying
to cheer her up. I shan't whisper
what happened next.
O.K. I will: He KNOWS WHAT
A HEIFER IS NOW!!!
(it wasn't pretty.)


 

Nothing beats radioactive
"Creamy Vanilla Smoothies!"
You couldn't do this in Bellingham
without getting an official note from
the hospital explaining the "radioactive
isotope part" because up there you
could be detected from all the Security
Thingies they got during the 2010
Winter Olympics in Vancouver...
And you'd glow green and they'd
wonder why...and so you needed
a letter because the first time they
detected radioactive isotopes, it was
this poor man driving and they all
pounced on him and couldn't
figure out where he was hiding
the "dangerous thing" and it
was really, really embarrassing...
NOT FOR THE MAN! But,
because his cat had just come
from chemotherapy at the vet
and really WAS RADIOCTIVE!
The "Security" faux pas made
national news...LOL!
They saw a "glowing green threat!"
It was a cat!



 

Practicing hand gestures from
the "Learn to Bollywood"
dance DVD, yeah, gonna
get this one DOWN, baby!
Get it DOWN!


 

But not dancing...
just being quiet.



 

Homesick.



 

Dreaming of being a "Whale
Rider" like in this drawing
from when we were still
living in Bellingham...
and felt "rooted" and life
was full of Wonder and
Mystery, inspired by such
a wild, wonderful landscape
of wilderness from Mt. Baker
to the San Juan Islands.
We just isn't "city people"
...or...
"City Pigs."


 

So it's my job to bring joy and
make a smile come out like
the sun. It's all our jobs, us piggies,
and we are doing our very best.

But we would be lying to say we
aren't all homesick.

(At least ain't got no heifers livin'
here no more: LOL!!!)
OH! WE DISCOVERED THAT
VINNY-GUINEA CAN CHIRP
LIKE A BIRD!
It's rare in guinea pigs, but Taj Mahal
used to do it when we watched
"Molly the Owl" over the Internet
all the time, the other night after we
got our habitats switched so's we could
all touch noses and nuzzle, mom woke
up and had to turn on the light since we
got no birds living in here and Vinny just
grinned! Life is still beautiful, and
full of wonder, surprises, with more to
come! We love you all.

OWL ANGELS OVER SEATTLE NIGHT SKY!!!

LAST NIGHT IT HAPPENED: I sit in my one stuffed, blue chair facing Pioneer Square and Elliot Bay, Puget Sound, and the Olympic Mountains...the moon has not come up and darkness falls over a city lit up brightly...when it happens! Smith Tower, circa 1914, historic lovely skyscraper - the only one between my window and Elliot Bay - is standing guard over downtown when Mystery flutters from it, something BIG, something with broad wings; wings dark except for the Celestial Glow cast upon them from City Lights, they GLOW, THEY GLOW, the bird is soon joined by another then another!
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHAT?
Peregrine falcons have been known to nest in Smith Tower but falcons these are not! Broad, glistening wings stretch into the night sky, short stumpy full-bodies between them, they are OWLS! How can this be?
More emerge, until five or so soar acrobatically between the tower, above lower buildings, and I am stunned: how can so many owls just appear like this? How can they get along, they are so territorial? Why aren't they engaged in aerial combat? No, they are playing! OWLS ARE PLAYING IN FRONT OF MY WINDOW OVER SEATTLE LIGHTING UP THE DARKNESS LIKE ANGELS! They fly hither and thither together and apart until the first, largest one signals the rest to fly North and he takes off over Elliot Bay, alone. Alone. I watch him soar over the Bay, stunned. STUNNED.

I look up Audubon Owls Downtown Seattle on GOOGLE: nothing!

In darkness I sit, staring at the now-empty sky where only moments earlier Angel-Owls took flight, wings glowing celestial/angelic, reflecting city lights below before departing Deep into Night's Solstice Sky...they had to be a clutch, fledglings "getting their Wings" under the wise, watchful eye of Mom and Dad. I figure Dad went off to hunt across the water leaving mom with the youngsters to explore downtown's abundant vermin population for dinner a la carte. But, who knows?

What kind of owls? Where was their nest? Pioneer Square is home to many trees yet these Pilots of the Sky flew right out of Smith Tower! So many questions, none of them important. Tonight I hope to have my binoculars ready. Although a wintry lightning & thunderous storm is passing, will I be able to see them?

Who cares? Our lonely nights here now have Meaning! Beauty. Mystery: WONDER!

Are we adjusting? It is taking a long time.
Why are there no photos? My computer caught a virus and DommyDom's mom has been kind enough to loan me hers until I get another. And I don't know how to cut and paste or would show you Smith Tower...Castle Residence of "Owls Over Seattle."

Are we adjusting? After last night, yes. Yes, we are.

Sentinels of the Night Sky, we await you now, you have turned lonely, dark nights of Homesickness into glimmering, shining Angels of Hope. Wild Hope.

Thank you, Owls: I wear my "Molly" hat every day. Now I shall wear it at night in the stuffed chair before a window where Miracles Brighten what had been nights filled with Darkness, no longer Lonely are we.

We Are in Our New Home

 

Dear Friends, we moved. Yes, we did.
We would like to thank you for reading our blog
all these wonderful years.
Our computer is not working properly, so we
may not have the opportunity to share our lives
with you until it does. And until we adjust
to life in the Emerald City.
Everything has changed dramatically and
we know, ultimately, for the best.
We love our new place and we already
love the hospital down the hill!
We watch the ferries ply Puget Sound
and leave trails upon the water.
We watch - and hear! - the Medical Helicopter
buzz our roof as it prepares to
land at the hospital down the hill.
We hear cars, planes, trains, concerts
from Century Link Field where we will
also hear Seattle Seahawks games come
fall and winter. Paul McCartney will
be here soon at Safeco Field, within
walking distance...of a Beatle!!!

We watch Mt. Rainier turn pink in her
Alpenglow tunic while trying to remember
how it felt standing on Mt. Baker turning
pink with her...then we try not to remember.
We try to Be Here Now and appreciate
what is all around us.
We enjoy the exquisite diversity of Life in
the International District (formerly known
as Chinatown) where we are surrounded by
sumptuous food, sights, smells, art, music,
gardens, parks...we sit atop a steep hill,
perched quietly amidst the noisy hustle and
bustle of a major port city...we watch the
Costco cargo ship guided in by little tug-boats,
schooners sailing at dusk, and we hear
many sounds, nearly all man-made & Very Loud.

We observe sea, sky, islands, and mountains,
now from the heart of a big city, not the
Silence of the Wildlife Refuge where
PandaPig's Peace Sanctuary began...
We are still adjusting.
It will take time.
We were inspired to write originally
because living where we did in Bellingham
adjacent to Whatcom Falls Park, nestled
overlooking an Audubon Wildlife Refuge,
we were so effortlessly inspired:
communing with wildlife and nature in
a landscape everchanging throughout
turning seasons...we don't quite know
who we are here...without YumYum.
We are Four and Mom.
Life has changed irrevocably and
we may become quieter to compensate
due to so much unaccustomed noise surrounding us.
We may become Very Still.
We may "flow like water," as Bruce Lee
used to advise his students here, just
down the hill from us. We may run into his first
student, Jesse Glover, with whom mom
had the privilege to train in Bruce's Gung Fu
 many years ago back in Pioneer Square:
We miss birds.

We play together at night, let out of our cages
(yes, we have to live in cages here, large ones,
but we don't like it and are creating a LARGE
RUNABOUT SPACE through which to frolic all
at night while our cages are cleaned;
food and water replenished as we explore
our new digs, popcorn, chase one another,
get petted & loved...)
This, our Seattle Bedtime Ritual, Together.

We have moved.
Life is loud.
We may need to become Silent.
On the Inside.
We don't know yet.
Thank you for reading our blog.
We don't know yet whether or not
we will continue writing...we are struggling to
settle in, Life is not as simple as it was,
but It Is Good. We know it will become
better.
We will keep in touch!
We love you all, dear Readers, dear Friends:
We so love you each and every one!
Yours Truly Forever,
Bhindi,
Peter-Peanut,
Vinny-Guinea,
Squirrel,
& Mom ~

Everything's Gonna Be All Right: We Have Each Other and YOU!

*Goodbye YumYum,
We Love You.
Farewell, ye Guinea Pigs all
popcorning together on the 
Rainbow Bridge,
We Love You All,
Forever...

*Goodbye Bellingham:
We've had the time of our lives!

Speedskating

"Molly the Owl"

Snowshoeing Mt. Baker

PandaPig's Peace Sanctuary

Meditation

Mountain Biking

Wildlife Refuge Where
We First Lived for 10
Glorious Years!

ARTISANS Art Gallery

Great Friends,
Familiar Faces,
Fabulous Lattes,
Gorgeous Places...

We are so Thankful for the Years 
lived here as Bellinghamsters
that filled our lives with Excitement,
Adventure, Caffeine, Lots of Caffeine,
Adrenaline Rushes, Winter Olympics,
Island Exploration by Bike,
Ferry Rides,
Rock Climbing,
An Owl Named Molly,
MODS!

A gentle guinea pig we named Panda, who had
been dumped, filthy and knowing he was unwanted,
Who Inspired "PandaPig's Peace Sanctuary"
for unloved, neglected, sick, and dying
guinea pigs so that every pig we could rescue
would experience how it felt to be loved
deeply, madly, crazily adored - by a human
and a herd of other orphan piggies -
before dying. That is what PandaPig
Gifted us...what Grace for such a small
animal! Thank you, Bellingham. 
Thank you, PandaPig.

A Drum Circle!

"Speaking Tree" site at the Times of India 
newspaper...a place to write from the soul.

"Guinea Pig Magazine" where our piggies 
grace artful pages and even the cover of a magazine 
read throughout every corner of the world.
Thank you, Alison Byford!

The MOD Blog, MOST FUN OF ALL?!
 A place to write from the heart 
with humor and pathos;
Sharing the exploits of two clutches
of Very Special Barn Owls, meeting new
people from across the country now
Forever Friends (((MODS)))

yes, everywhere...Friends,
Love, & Laughter!

Farewell,
and thanks for the memories,
all of you who helped create them
We treasure every single one.
But we treasure you most
so we pack you with us,
and off to New Adventures
TOGETHER!

Cars, people sent tumbling into Skagit River as I-5 bridge collapses | Local & Regional | Seattle News, Weather, Sports, Breaking News | KOMO News

Cars, people sent tumbling into Skagit River as I-5 bridge collapses | Local & Regional | Seattle News, Weather, Sports, Breaking News | KOMO News: (Press Headlines to see story)

Dear Friends,

Last night instead of returning to Bellingham from Seattle I remained in Seattle for the night, ordinarily I would have returned at dusk to enjoy the peaceful, calm drive with stunning countryside, the North Cascade Mountains to the East, the San Juan Islands to the West, fields of tulips and daffodils abloom everywhere...and may have been on this bridge when it collapsed last night, it was the time I usually would have been driving over it...yet I was safe.

We are struggling in many ways at this time...and continue imagining YumYum popcorning in Heaven with all his friends...today Guinea Pig Magazine arrived with a funny photo of Squirrel in it and a copy of the New Year issue two years ago when our beloved Taj Mahal made cover pig! Yet died before the magazine arrived...the feature of this issue? "Coping With Loss: Grief and Bereavement Issues"...

The other piggies seem O.K. to a degree...but none are "quite right"...they all caught diarrhea from some organic wheatgrass that I think contained some mold, all but YumYum seemed to recover, but...I am not sure...guinea pigs can die of grief. The home we found...may have been a scam run by a group of unscrupulous thieves who greedily exploit seniors and disabled people...and as it turns out they had no intention of us ever moving in, only stealing more and more deposits they continued to demand...finally it became apparent we face the possibility of homelessness...I found a lawyer and warned them that I knew what they were doing and they would face serious consequences which they were not accustomed to because they rarely get people as young as me in their buildings since people my age I was told "don't like living with a bunch of old people." They exploit seniors who have no nearby families nor advocates to protect them, but I am not one of those. We have received overwhelming support both from the Seattle Housing Authority and Ironman Movers here in Bellingham...now the bridge is down and we have been given a nearly impossible deadline we have to arrive by and the movers are determined we will meet it and they will have to let us live there but they can still sabotage things...so we face potential homelessness...a neighbor with 4 precious girl pigs would foster the boys and I would live - ? Who knows? So, we pray, we cry, we mourn, we feel happy we are together, we rejoice we were not on the bridge and we are safe tonight and home together although I think they do not feel well and I am pouring my heart out here...because it has been tough and continues growing tougher and at the same time we receive Grace in the gift of a wonderful doctor I found in Seattle, in the love and care of our true friends, we have also lost some as I became sicker we lost friends who cannot handle what is happening to me and it hurts, it hurts deeply but we accept what we must and while packing I realize most of what is here was given us by friends, many of whom have drifted away intentionally so what to do with their gifts? I was told to remember the good times but the things they gave me only make me sad now because I realize that...they are no longer in our lives. It hurts. I don't blog like this but losing YumYum, the possibility of having to foster the boys who survive yet appear not to be thriving...and we still wonder, will we have a home waiting, and the bridge collapse making travel a nightmare of many hours, and stress while they are this delicate is extremely dangerous...I find myself staring at the possibility of losing all the guinea pigs either to grief/disease, stress of the move now that we have to travel hours to get to Seattle, if we do not get our apartment having them fostered with a kind neighbor who has four girls - or have I said that already - yes, back up plans for Homelessness have been made as we grieved YumYum's loss...and even if we do manage to strong-arm our way into the apartment we were promised how could it become the harmonious, happy place we envisioned and desire? We will have to learn to create that and we will! I still believe in the goodness of Humanity as we receive so much support in the midst of what feel like catastrophic challenges.

Will you please send us good vibes, prayers, whatever you do for loved ones facing loss, having faith and a sure inner knowing everything will turn out for the best, battling for a home, knowing we were saved by God from having plunged into the torrential, icy depths of the Skagit River, so we are being watched over and cared for, will you still be our friends while our lives fall completely apart? We know only Goodness awaits us. But, being human, I still feel frightened sometimes...
Thank you, I decided to be brutally honest in this post after not plunging to our deaths in the bridge collapse, we know we have Someone Watching Over Us, it's just hard sometimes, too, to be a human being with aspirations for deeper faith.
~ love,
All of Us
in Memory of YumYum



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Godspeed, Little Fella, Thank You for Being in Our Lives...