WE GLIMPSE YUM-YUM'S SECRET DREAM

YouTube - Kung Fu - grasshopper dialog

YUM-YUM, CLOSE YOUR EYES, WHAT DO YOU HEAR?

"I hear...
the  refrigerator door...
opening.

I hear
a plastic bag...
containing fresh, sweet carrots.

I hear mom placing them on...

the cutting board to slice for me,
I mean, us.

I hear myself,
break the Silence:

"WWWHHHHEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkKKKKKKKKKKKKK! CARROTS NOW!"

PANDA OUT. why bother?

YouTube - Bruce Lee in Kung Fu

YouTube - Bruce Lee in Kung Fu

Dear Readers,

Before we politely embark upon our newest journey, "KungFu -YumYum"
and get all philOsOphical on you, please consider this video: We offer it with sincerity.
(OK. Not really, but it's hilarious.)

It is an imaginative look at what the 1970's series (created by Bruce Lee in real life)
would have looked like if Bruce Lee, rather than David Carradine, starred in the lead role.

We place this before you as our interpretation of YumYum's earnest desire
to embark upon his own Kung Fu journey, using Jackie Chan's remake of "The Karate Kid"
as his inspiration, so that he will become - hee, hee, sorry, this is sooo hard to take
seriously - a Kung Fu master who Only Uses His Power for Good. (Keep in mind the
coincidental timing: he saw me blog about mom's secret plan to have him neutered for
continuing aggressive behavior towards Bear. Good timing, Bucko!)

Excuse me just a moment, please.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: BURSTS OF LAUGHTER APPEAR IN BACKGROUND, SQUEALING, AND BEAR's EYES APPEAR TO BE TEARING UP FROM LAUGHING SO HARD. BEAR, WIPE YOUR EYES AND PIPE DOWN! I'M WRITING!)

Gentle reader, we invite you along as we journey with our little herd-mate on his quest for perfection.

We will begin posting videos, photographs, and flashbacks from YumYum's memories of his
past life as an un-neutered Shaolin Guinea Pig under the venerable masters Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee,
and Master Po.

The truth is, only Pink Mouse, who lives next door with Chin-Sun-Kitty, could teach our little brother.
But, since we may have to move, YumYum is reluctant to begin a memorable apprenticeship that
has little chance of lasting a lifetime. That part, we admit, is sincere and most noble of him.

So, please enjoy the links to very short episodes in the life of "The Littlest KungFu Guinea Pig."

Thank you and we wish you all a pleasant evening.

PANDA OUT.

(STOP LAUGHING, BEAR, WE NEED TO BE SUPPORTIVE! HA-HA!)

YUM-YUM DREAMS OF REAL KUNG FU

YouTube - Watch the new THE KARATE KID Trailer in HD

"Everything...is Kung Fu," says YumYum's idol, Jackie Chan, in this upcoming release of the new
"Karare Kid" remake.

"Life will knock us down. But, we can choose to get up!" Wisdom from One Who Knows:
Jackie Chan TOTALLY ROCKS! Always has, always will. He's the Real Deal.
Seriously. In real life, not just movies,  Jackie and Kung Fu are One.

WHAT UP? you ask.

YumYum read the blog I wrote this morning on the possible future of his manhood.

"If I was a Shaolin monk! But not this! Not NOW! NOT YUM-YUM!" he proclaimed
(albeit, somewhat squeakily) his voice saturated in a conviction we never knew he had.

Mom took notice.

She used to practice kung fu. She and Edwin once trained with Bruce Lee's first student
in Seattle, Jesse Glover. She listened.

"Yum-Yum, does this movie represent your secret dreams?
Dreams we never knew you had?"

"Everything is Kung Fu!" he squeaked.

"Then learn the lesson, which is when NOT to use violence, and I will reconsider the
neutering," she quietly told him in front of us.

"Learn from Jackie. I'll give you time, Little Grasshopper, I understand. Ok, well, maybe
I don't really understand since no one has ever threatened to neuter me before, but --"

"MOM!"

Oh, right, this is about you.

"BUT,  kung fu is a way of life, not a way of fighting! Jackie knows it. Bruce Lee taught it.
YumYum, have you ever watched "Kung Fu" on TV? I met the actor who plays Master Po,"
mom continued. "Back when I was just 17 years old, and maybe a little bit runty,
like you. In real life, Keye Luke (Master Po) appeared poised, lovely, and gentle,
yet one sensed the internal power of one who had spent a lifetime cultivating his Chi.
Cultivate yourself,  Little Grasshopper. Stop acting like a  runt.
Flow like water, and your manhood may remain intact!"

BOY, WAS THIS NEWS TO US! Mom really surprises us sometimes.

Will Jackie's new film turn Baby-Rambo into a Kung Fu expert?
(EDITOR'S NOTE: we took a vote. uh, maybe not.)

Well, we don't know where YumYum came up with all this Kung Fu stuff.
But the movie looks like a whole lot of fun, and we know mom has always
adored Jackie Chan and watched all his early Hong Kong kung fu movies
maybe, like 50 times!

What we did not know was that she has respect for even
YumYum's capacity to learn. To Learn Anything, Much less kung fu!
He knows what opening the refrigerator means.
He knows what "No, YumYum, DON'T! LEAVE BEAR ALONE!" means.
The refrigerator he respects.
Mom's threats...not so much. Until the "neuter" word came up
this morning.  He's selective, that YumYum, about what he appears to understand.

Bear and I will be accepting wagers: keep it clean. organic produce only, please.

Let the fun begin!

PANDA OUT!

CONGREGATING AND CONVERSATING

Dear Readers,

Have you ever seen a group of elderly men at a coffee shop, just sitting
around the table, talking about things
on their mind?

Back in Iowa, mom said the men would be farmers, in overalls, wearing John Deere hats with the slogan "Runs Like A Deere" (mom even had one) and they would say:

"Humid out."

"Yup."

"Could rain."

"Might."

"Gonna rain tomorrow, weatherman says."

"Yup."

"Maybe not."

"Humid, though."

"Yeah it is!"

Then each man would sip his coffee, lean back in his chair, and sigh, knowing a long, hot, humid day awaited him in the fields.

Well, mom said we remind her of that. Because "certain pigs" still cannot get along without supervision, yet we all  love herding together, mom has configured our cages so we have a "meeting place" to gather, eat, and conversate amongst ourselves. In truth, we plan Mayhem. It unites us to have a Cause.

"Looks like lettuce today."

"Maybe.

"Could be a carrot, or a yellow pepper."

"Nah, had that yesterday. Gonna be apple."

"I don't like apple skin." (NOTE FROM EDITOR: Panda's apples must always be peeled before they are deigned Worthy.)

"Doesn't matter, mom always peels yours anyway."

"I like apple peel."

"Yeah, think we'll get a Runabout today?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe not."

"Dunno for sure."

"If we want, we could get one. Yum-Yum, you could start ripping your cage apart in a fit of mania. That always works. Mom worries you've gone Postal and lets us out so you can discharge all that energy..."

"Could do that, Panda. Might. Ya think?"

"Yeah, we think," said Bear the Beaver Pig.

"O.K. Just as soon as she gets home, "Operation Crazy-Pig" takes effect. YumYum, you be the CrazyPig."

"Why do I always have to be the crazy pig?  I don't even get credit for being the Crazy Pig."

"We support your efforts, YumYum, always."

"Yup!"

And thus, plans are hatched democratically by the "Herd that Hears."

AND, WHEN WE HEAR Mom, we deploy our mischief with gusto, glee, and feigned innocence.
Like: "Poor mom, having a piggie like Yum-Yum. Now she's gonna have to let us all go Runabout!"

Yup. And she will, too.

We love each other and mom.  And we love scheming together as one herd in our special gathering place!
It Unites Us to have a Common Cause: FOOD, FUN, AND MAYHEM! Then snuggling with mom.

Even when it's humid out.

See Ya! Mom's peeling apples in the kitchen, gotta go!

PANDA PIG OUT!

YUM-YUM APPROACHES THE BIG "UH-OH!"

Dear Readers,

As all of you know, our little artist (note his footprint/signing on blue) is the only member of our herd who had not has his
manhood tinkered with. Because he was a baby, and he is still little: only his head grew to full size, the rest of him...
not so much.

But, tonight during a Runabout with three times more space now than ever before, the little diplomat STILL had the
balls (their days now numbered) to chase down the old, brown Beaver Pig, and antagonize him into a "rumble in the jungle."

You have all seen the size of Bear's mammoth teeth. Let's just say YumYum's fur went flying, and Bear walked away once his work was done. Mom has kept them apart, but let them both Runabout at the same time tonight because she figured if it was
just a real estate issue, there was now plenty enough to go around. Peacefully!

WRONG.

Apparently, it's personal: YumYum has it in for Bear the Beaver Pig. And now that Bear is neutered, he's really not so
interested in quarreling over who the alphaPig is, because he wins out of default: He is the oldest, the largest, and has
the longest teeth. End of it.

Now mom is seriously thinking that YumYum's time as a fertile bachelor is drawing rapidly to a close since he's the
only pig in the herd who still acts like Rambo. If only he could have stuck to sculpting...instead of doing a cavy/porcine
imitation of "The Karate Kid."

Such an artist! ARTIST GONE BAD!

He's no Karate Kid, that one. The Big Event is now inevitable.

On a lighter note, we all enjoyed lots of lap time and a Runabout!

Tired, content, happy.
Good night, one and all. Sleep well.

PANDA OUT!

"ASIA, THE TAIWANESE MOUNTAIN DOG, HAS A MESSAGE"

Dear Readers,

You have already met Asia, the purebred Taiwanese mountain dog who was rescued by one of mom's neighbors here at the condo, which is practically an animal sanctuary considering how many of our residents are rescues.

Asia actually did come all the way from Asia through the efforts of a purebred rescue group mom thinks is out on Bainbridge Island. She's nothing short of a miracle, this one! SHE AND MOM ADORE ONE ANOTHER. And her dad gets to bag her poo: win/win for mom and Asia!

Her message is to encourage all of our lovely readers to visit a rescue site and enjoy some good news for a change! The good
news, which doesn't make the nightly news, is that a lot of kind people and animals in the world are making this a better place,
one rescue at a time. We guinea pigs are proof of that!

And one of mom's favorite sites for good news is www.bestfriends.org - GOOD SANCTUARY NEWS that will make you happy.

And that's worth waggin' a tail for!

PANDA OUT!

"WAY OF THE BULL TERRIER, ASCIA, AND MOM"

JERRY'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Mom's friend, Jerry, gave her a beautiful book for her birthday last year, which she took on a photo safari to Whatcom Creek. She read it, thinking about Jerry and how special birthdays are.

And she remembered a special day, many years ago, when she drove up to Mt. Baker, stopped at a fresh berry stand, and bought a slice of the best blueberry pie in creation to celebrate HIS birthday.

Then she hiked up to Artist Point, photographed that mountain pie for Jerry, and ate it! Altitude: over 5,000 ft. Pie tastes real good when you get it up high like that.

She then sent Jerry a photograph of his birthday pie, taken before she ate it, wishing him "Happy Birthday."

Jerry works in an office. In Atlanta, Georgia. Indoors.

We think that was mean.

 Still...

He sure sends mom good books. He's a poet. And good books are even better when read beside the rushing water of a cool, glacial melt, even once it's descended almost to sea level.

Mom asked me to say: "Thanks, bro! Love the book and your pie remains unforgettable!"

WHATCOM FALLS

WHATCOM CREEK IN SLOW MOTION

mom loves photographing water and has no idea how she got this image because she thinks it looks more like fabric.
waterFabric.

WAY OF THE GUINEA PIG: THE FLOW OF NOT KNOWING

Last April, mom took this photograph of Whatcom Creek, just down our greening forest path, on her birthday to celebrate living here.

Next month when April rolls around this will no longer be our home and we do not yet know where home will be.  Perhaps we'll  linger here a bit, but we no longer belong here and do not feel settled, safe or secure knowing the place will be up for sale.  Home, to us, means a cozy nest in which to melt as worries of the day fade into guinea pig laughter and a big, soft blanket full of cuddle time with mom.

In memory of water, we all agreed to relax and flow wherever nature takes us; nestling in gratefully once our destination is reached, for just being together makes us a family on the inside, and that's what makes any house a home: the oinkers! usn's! us and mom. and snacks. and a starry night sky filled with meteor showers that make even the worldliest of pigs go "wow." Yes, the meteor shower is the thing.

Thus, we embark upon the "Way of the Guinea Pig: Flow of Not Knowing" and will be updating you, dear reader, as our delightful journey unfolds. No doubt twists and turns will create drama and mom will spend long hours lying on the floor wondering about carpet cleaning; but this will also be the journey where we inhale Faith and exhale Fear.  Because meteor showers won't come out unless guinea pigs feel peaceful inside.

Love to you all, especially the salmon babies in Whatcom Creek, where this photo was taken. Their life's journey is far more dangerous and full of challenge than ours, and we wish them godspeed into the deep, dark waters of the Pacific ocean where they will grow into big, strong salmon, only to swim home again, spawn, then die in the waters where they were born. 

May we all be returned safely to our True Homes! So Sing! Meteors like that.

Good night, readers.
Good night, baby salmon.
Good night, flowing water.
Good night, stars, sleep well, one and all.

PANDAPIG's BEDTIME: OUT!

PORTRAIT OF MOM

Mom's bff, Susan, knitted this gorgeous felted bag for her and it matches the rest
of mom's Hip, Urban, Bohemian, Artist ensemble.

We really think it looks better out on the trail than walking down the street in town.

We don't have to wear clothes, or shoes.

That's why we like being guinea pigs.

We are free and can Runabout anywhere just the way we are, UNENCUMBERED.

But Susan really did a beautiful job on that knitting
AND

We'd love to snuggle in there.

Mom said: "Yeah, I'll let you guys in there when ******!"

Guess it'll have to be a stealth operation:
We're DETERMINED TO get in there and hide and cuddle and snuggle in the warmth of wool felt.

We're pretty sure you'll be reading all about it when we do.  With lots of **********because mom
can really have a potty-mouth sometimes, especially when it comes to our teeth being where they shouldn't.

Stay tuned for Operation Snuggle Sack!

"********!@#$%&?***OH NO YOU AREN'T!"

PANDA OUT!