WE BANISH MOM TO THE WILDERNESS!

For the past several weeks, mom has been having a difficult time.

We have been deeply affectionate and loving, because we are saints, one and all.

We spent hours of lap time holding in our pee (because guinea pigs try not to pee on their people; it's part of our reputation as gentle pets) but last night my bladder nearly burst! Mom needed so much love. Whew!

So, this morning, following Bear's weather report of  :::SUN::: we convened an Intervention!

WE THREW HER OUT! SHE HAD ALREADY FED US, SO WHO NEEDED ALL THE DRAMA? ENOUGH ALREADY!

Mom's birthday is the same is her hero John Muir, who used to just HEAD UP INTO THE MOUNTAINS with some bread and a Sense of Wonder. We had exactly one more piece of home-made cornbread, some protein drink, and a bottle of water to pack her up and off she went to the North Shore Trail of Lake Whatcom. It was good for her.

It was good for us! And I got to pee whenever I felt like it instead of holding it in while she petted and held me and loved me, for hours. Get me a diaper, already!

We packed her camera and she met really cool, exotic dogs and their people, felt spring in the air, and even got to watch the Whatcom Fire and Rescue Team practice mountain climbing along slick, rock waterfalls in full firefighting regalia! COOL, huh?

And the eagle sat waiting at the top of her tree, greeting mom upon her return home.

So, we will be sharing photographs from Mom's Walkabout with you and hope that when the sun does
peek out, and you have a chance to head for the hills, you don't forget your cornbread!

PANDA PIG OUT!

MOM ESCAPED TO THE WOODS!

LAKE WHATCOM NORTH SHORE

BEAR CHECKS FOR SUN IN HIS MORNING WEATHER REPORT!

BEAR THE WEATHER-PIG!

Dear Readers,

It has been dark, gray, and drippy here in the Great Pacific Northwest (YUK!)
But, fortunately we have our own version of the Groundhog who predicts when spring will arrive:

We have Bear, the Weather-Pig!

He comes out in the morning, sniffs the air, feels whether or not
his nose feels warm or cold, then offers up his weather report!

He does this faithfully each morning.

And today he has great news: SUN! And yellow peppers for breakfast.

"I can smell 'em a mile away," says he. Sure enough: Fresh, yellow Peppers AND Sun! How bright is that?

PANDA OUT FOR BREAKFAST AND TANNING!

"ART INTERRUPTED"

Mom has been working on a rough sketch of Raven. For years, actually.

Now, her drawing hand doesn't work. She found out it wasn't just the two guinea pig bites, because it turns out other injuries were hiding in both hands, things she otherwise would have never discovered.

She may need surgery, after the move,
if we move, when we move, To wherever we move. One hand, maybe
both. Who knows? We're used to it.

The good part is how much she loves her medical team because they are all animal lovers who also rescue animals! She trusts them. And recognizes this process will take time. It may be awhile before she gets back to finishing Raven. But it's all right.  He's not flying away:  Ours is a patient Raven. And a faithful Raven. Besides, she drew friends for him to play with.

We feel a little sad watching her pack so much unfinished art.
So, we even offered to donate our Runaround Space in the new place for her exclusive use as an art studio.
Mom said wherever we move there will be plenty of room for all of us to play! Together!

We bid mom's unfinished art farewell for now, and promise that when we become hip, urban, bohemian, artPigs, we will share our creativity with all of you and invite you to share yours with us!

Raven, we will see you soon: we promise! We will finish drawing your wings so you can fly to catch Sun and bring more Light into our lives.
Good Raven. Good guinea pigs. Good night, art lovers. Good night, Creative Muse. Please come back in the morning!

PANDA OUT!

MEET YOUR EDITOR: PANDA-PIG!

"AFTER A HARD DAY'S WORK: CUDDLE TIME FOR PANDAPIG!"

Hard at work, writing, editing, doing all the photography: it's only me in the newsroom and much to do!

               Mom gives me a surprise foot massage because I've worked so hard on the blog this week!

                 Now, just melt into the warm embrace of a soft, fleece blanket while mom lulls me to sleep...

PANDA PIG MOST DEFINITELY OUT! SWEET DREAMS, DEAR READERS...SWEET DREAMS.

WE GLIMPSE YUM-YUM'S SECRET DREAM

YouTube - Kung Fu - grasshopper dialog

YUM-YUM, CLOSE YOUR EYES, WHAT DO YOU HEAR?

"I hear...
the  refrigerator door...
opening.

I hear
a plastic bag...
containing fresh, sweet carrots.

I hear mom placing them on...

the cutting board to slice for me,
I mean, us.

I hear myself,
break the Silence:

"WWWHHHHEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkKKKKKKKKKKKKK! CARROTS NOW!"

PANDA OUT. why bother?

YouTube - Bruce Lee in Kung Fu

YouTube - Bruce Lee in Kung Fu

Dear Readers,

Before we politely embark upon our newest journey, "KungFu -YumYum"
and get all philOsOphical on you, please consider this video: We offer it with sincerity.
(OK. Not really, but it's hilarious.)

It is an imaginative look at what the 1970's series (created by Bruce Lee in real life)
would have looked like if Bruce Lee, rather than David Carradine, starred in the lead role.

We place this before you as our interpretation of YumYum's earnest desire
to embark upon his own Kung Fu journey, using Jackie Chan's remake of "The Karate Kid"
as his inspiration, so that he will become - hee, hee, sorry, this is sooo hard to take
seriously - a Kung Fu master who Only Uses His Power for Good. (Keep in mind the
coincidental timing: he saw me blog about mom's secret plan to have him neutered for
continuing aggressive behavior towards Bear. Good timing, Bucko!)

Excuse me just a moment, please.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: BURSTS OF LAUGHTER APPEAR IN BACKGROUND, SQUEALING, AND BEAR's EYES APPEAR TO BE TEARING UP FROM LAUGHING SO HARD. BEAR, WIPE YOUR EYES AND PIPE DOWN! I'M WRITING!)

Gentle reader, we invite you along as we journey with our little herd-mate on his quest for perfection.

We will begin posting videos, photographs, and flashbacks from YumYum's memories of his
past life as an un-neutered Shaolin Guinea Pig under the venerable masters Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee,
and Master Po.

The truth is, only Pink Mouse, who lives next door with Chin-Sun-Kitty, could teach our little brother.
But, since we may have to move, YumYum is reluctant to begin a memorable apprenticeship that
has little chance of lasting a lifetime. That part, we admit, is sincere and most noble of him.

So, please enjoy the links to very short episodes in the life of "The Littlest KungFu Guinea Pig."

Thank you and we wish you all a pleasant evening.

PANDA OUT.

(STOP LAUGHING, BEAR, WE NEED TO BE SUPPORTIVE! HA-HA!)

YUM-YUM DREAMS OF REAL KUNG FU

YouTube - Watch the new THE KARATE KID Trailer in HD

"Everything...is Kung Fu," says YumYum's idol, Jackie Chan, in this upcoming release of the new
"Karare Kid" remake.

"Life will knock us down. But, we can choose to get up!" Wisdom from One Who Knows:
Jackie Chan TOTALLY ROCKS! Always has, always will. He's the Real Deal.
Seriously. In real life, not just movies,  Jackie and Kung Fu are One.

WHAT UP? you ask.

YumYum read the blog I wrote this morning on the possible future of his manhood.

"If I was a Shaolin monk! But not this! Not NOW! NOT YUM-YUM!" he proclaimed
(albeit, somewhat squeakily) his voice saturated in a conviction we never knew he had.

Mom took notice.

She used to practice kung fu. She and Edwin once trained with Bruce Lee's first student
in Seattle, Jesse Glover. She listened.

"Yum-Yum, does this movie represent your secret dreams?
Dreams we never knew you had?"

"Everything is Kung Fu!" he squeaked.

"Then learn the lesson, which is when NOT to use violence, and I will reconsider the
neutering," she quietly told him in front of us.

"Learn from Jackie. I'll give you time, Little Grasshopper, I understand. Ok, well, maybe
I don't really understand since no one has ever threatened to neuter me before, but --"

"MOM!"

Oh, right, this is about you.

"BUT,  kung fu is a way of life, not a way of fighting! Jackie knows it. Bruce Lee taught it.
YumYum, have you ever watched "Kung Fu" on TV? I met the actor who plays Master Po,"
mom continued. "Back when I was just 17 years old, and maybe a little bit runty,
like you. In real life, Keye Luke (Master Po) appeared poised, lovely, and gentle,
yet one sensed the internal power of one who had spent a lifetime cultivating his Chi.
Cultivate yourself,  Little Grasshopper. Stop acting like a  runt.
Flow like water, and your manhood may remain intact!"

BOY, WAS THIS NEWS TO US! Mom really surprises us sometimes.

Will Jackie's new film turn Baby-Rambo into a Kung Fu expert?
(EDITOR'S NOTE: we took a vote. uh, maybe not.)

Well, we don't know where YumYum came up with all this Kung Fu stuff.
But the movie looks like a whole lot of fun, and we know mom has always
adored Jackie Chan and watched all his early Hong Kong kung fu movies
maybe, like 50 times!

What we did not know was that she has respect for even
YumYum's capacity to learn. To Learn Anything, Much less kung fu!
He knows what opening the refrigerator means.
He knows what "No, YumYum, DON'T! LEAVE BEAR ALONE!" means.
The refrigerator he respects.
Mom's threats...not so much. Until the "neuter" word came up
this morning.  He's selective, that YumYum, about what he appears to understand.

Bear and I will be accepting wagers: keep it clean. organic produce only, please.

Let the fun begin!

PANDA OUT!

CONGREGATING AND CONVERSATING

Dear Readers,

Have you ever seen a group of elderly men at a coffee shop, just sitting
around the table, talking about things
on their mind?

Back in Iowa, mom said the men would be farmers, in overalls, wearing John Deere hats with the slogan "Runs Like A Deere" (mom even had one) and they would say:

"Humid out."

"Yup."

"Could rain."

"Might."

"Gonna rain tomorrow, weatherman says."

"Yup."

"Maybe not."

"Humid, though."

"Yeah it is!"

Then each man would sip his coffee, lean back in his chair, and sigh, knowing a long, hot, humid day awaited him in the fields.

Well, mom said we remind her of that. Because "certain pigs" still cannot get along without supervision, yet we all  love herding together, mom has configured our cages so we have a "meeting place" to gather, eat, and conversate amongst ourselves. In truth, we plan Mayhem. It unites us to have a Cause.

"Looks like lettuce today."

"Maybe.

"Could be a carrot, or a yellow pepper."

"Nah, had that yesterday. Gonna be apple."

"I don't like apple skin." (NOTE FROM EDITOR: Panda's apples must always be peeled before they are deigned Worthy.)

"Doesn't matter, mom always peels yours anyway."

"I like apple peel."

"Yeah, think we'll get a Runabout today?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe not."

"Dunno for sure."

"If we want, we could get one. Yum-Yum, you could start ripping your cage apart in a fit of mania. That always works. Mom worries you've gone Postal and lets us out so you can discharge all that energy..."

"Could do that, Panda. Might. Ya think?"

"Yeah, we think," said Bear the Beaver Pig.

"O.K. Just as soon as she gets home, "Operation Crazy-Pig" takes effect. YumYum, you be the CrazyPig."

"Why do I always have to be the crazy pig?  I don't even get credit for being the Crazy Pig."

"We support your efforts, YumYum, always."

"Yup!"

And thus, plans are hatched democratically by the "Herd that Hears."

AND, WHEN WE HEAR Mom, we deploy our mischief with gusto, glee, and feigned innocence.
Like: "Poor mom, having a piggie like Yum-Yum. Now she's gonna have to let us all go Runabout!"

Yup. And she will, too.

We love each other and mom.  And we love scheming together as one herd in our special gathering place!
It Unites Us to have a Common Cause: FOOD, FUN, AND MAYHEM! Then snuggling with mom.

Even when it's humid out.

See Ya! Mom's peeling apples in the kitchen, gotta go!

PANDA PIG OUT!