TAJ MAHAL DECLARES...

"I have nothing to declare except my genius."

      ~ Oscar Wilde

On behalf of Taj Mahal, and his bi-colored lower lip,
featured in this month's issue of Guinea Pig Magazine.

You may refer to Taj informally as "Chocolate SwirlyFudgeBoy"

Pomegranate Haz-Mat Suits

Ye flavorful, exotic fruit.
Thy colors strange, thy berries cute!
You're sometimes sour, sometimes sweet;
Pomegranates stain our feet!
Now we don our special suits
To keep from staining feetz with fruits.


"The Pomegranate"
~  from "Ruminations on Fruit: Vol. 1"
by Calvin the Small

FOR OUR FRIEND, CONNIE with E...

We found out that today, November 19th, marks
the One Year passing of Shorts who journeyed to
the Rainbow Bridge where he eagerly awaits his
mom and all his friends.

Connie, we love you and we love Shorts and
this is as close to a cyber-hug we we can get...
And we know all of your friends, MOD and non-MOD
(we don't discriminate here) are sending you both
lots of love and more cyber-hugs, knowing we will
all see Shorts when we get to the Rainbow Bridge
where those who we miss so dearly will be with him to greet US!

TONIGHT, NOVEMBER 19, 2011, IS A SPECIAL MEMORIAL FOR YOU AND SHORTS, ALL
THE WHIMSICAL THINGS HE DID TO MAKE
YOU LAUGH, AND THE MEMORIES YOU
BOTH CREATED TOGETHER.

WE LOVE YOU.

For Our Friend, Giz...

Raj took this fetching portrait of me, YumYum, holding mom while we unwrapped her birthday presents together last spring. See, we got this great big box from our friend, Giz, who we love so much that we asked Raj to photograph us opening her gift box so she could be here with us, at least in photos!

She sent us such great stuff. See our smiles? Now Giz fighting for her life with the zeal and passion of a 
real-life Boudicca, Queen of the Iceni!

(Different scholars spell her name differently, but for our purposes, Boudicca was one BOLD&FEISTY WARRIOR QUEEN with unparalleled courage!) 
Just like Giz and her "Lil' Gizzler!"

Gonna BEAT those brain cancers named Harvey:
them's is shrinkin' as we SPEAK!!!

Mom's MOD shirt stands, of course for 
"Molly Obsessive Disorder" which she contracted long ago...which is how she met Giz.

And so many of her friends. One barn owl is all it took...one ordinary barn owl named Molly. And Carlos, and Eric, the book Molly the Owl, and UStream T.V. Yeah, mom a MOD!

But we have yet another reason to feature this photograph. Which you will read about in the next post. If you happen to be "into the small print."

Shhhhh....(yeah, we know! She got BIG BOOBIES, ssshhhhh!)

P.S. Mom holds me with two hands like you're supposed to always hold guinea pigs with two hands
but we counted one of her big boobies as "support" briefly, very briefly and with attention, just
for this particular pic for Giz. What that on
mom's pants? HAY! STUFF! HAY-STUFF.
It everywhere, everywhere, all the time,
no escaping it now! HAY, Y'ALL!
Who LOVES YA, BABY?
YumYum! That WHO!


P.S.S. AND GIZ...
KEEP KICKING HARVEY'S BUTT(s)
ALL OF THEM! WE's ALL WEARING OUR
TUMOR-STOMPIN' BOOTS AND IS JUST ACHING TO GET OUR STEEL-TOED 
FEETS ALL SMOOSHING HIM AND HIS
MALIGNANT MINIONS 
TO SMITHEREENS!
HARVEY(s), BE AFRAID,
BE VERY AFRAID.

Pigs Lie - Guinea Pig Today

Pigs Lie - Guinea Pig Today
^^^Just read this!
Yeah, we knew it! Ya know
how ya have to keep tellin'
your mom or wife or husband
or dog or cat or hedgehog
or porcupine what a good
piggie you really are? And 
it's sooo hard to comprehend
why they don't believe you?


EDITOR: "Could it be that
you lie, little bundles of furry
cuteness? You lie and you
lie BIG, OFTEN, AND 
DRAMATICALLY?
Just askin, is all."


We take umbrage.

Umbrage hath been taken

and we shall say no more.


(Until mom is asleep and
we find her bra, drag it out,
chew it up, then show you
just how BIG the pile is and
log just how many hours it
took to -)


EDITOR: "Who's not taking
their nap?"


ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........!
hee-hee, revenge shall be ours in mere hours...but shhhhhh.

MacNutPie Goes Missing...

Hey, any o'ya seen MacNutPie? He gone missing again...
last seen, he was lookin' over his shoulder like a spy,
mumbling somethin' like: "Hope that heifer doesn't see where
I'm goin' or it's curtains for the Mac!" then he sped away
to an undisclosed location.

Hey, I'm down wid that. No problemo...
except...
WHAT THE *'s a heifer?

NOT HIDING! WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?

Sometimes a guy needs to catch a break, especially
when he becomes famous (i.e. "the MacNutPie Collection" featured
in Guinea Pig Magazine!)
Actually...it's not that...I enjoy my new-found fame!
It's Coconut. She wants new-found fame and wants mine.
She's been chasing me around,
trying to steal it like she does all the food I get...
like the lettuce,
the carrots,
the kale,
the (peeled) apples,
the (cut in half) sweet grapes,
the colorful bell peppers,
the carrot-tops,
and even a sweet fresh in-season, locally grown blueberry
(cut in half, of course) which is as hard for her to steal
as the grape...
She's gone from shy baby rescue pig to...well...
she's a Big Girl now, bossy and big as a heifer,
and sometimes a guy just needs a moment of solitude.
With a grape.
Cut in half.
We can hardly wait until the sweet satsumas come into season!
I will have to eat mine here...but I'm worth it!

IT'S A TOSS-UP!

Dear Fairy,
Now that YumYum is back with Millie Bea (or, at least, she is willing to reconsider...) and our love hath been revealed, mom said that good husbands need to be trained by good wives. Wives with Very Long Teeth...and she also said we need to set an example for couples EVERYWHERE due to a rampant, sordid, dreadful cultural misconception men have: that once they've caught their women, the women are theirs to mold back into their mothers who will cook, clean, do their laundry, stay home and have their babies...we have heard mom mumbling something like "barefoot and pregnant? I'LL GIVE 'EM A BARE FOOT WHERE THE SUN NEVER - " OOPSIE, she might read this and we still have half of that pomegranate left...

Long story long...I am learning YOUR special hay-tossing
technique, like you showed us! And it's quite superior to
Both CoconutPie and YumYum's tossing because I don't get
dizzy...the only down side? Once here, well, I start eating
and forget to toss!
Is there a tincture for that?
See, I can change for love.
Mom said just for that THE POMEGRANATE IS MINE FOR THE ASKING!

BEDTIME SHARING

Our favorite thing to do before bed is to wear mom out so she sleeps well! After all, we are her "therapy pigs" (since this is - HA! HA! - supposed to be a pet-free building despite all the cats, dogs, doves, parakeets, other guinea pigs SQUEE! and it's like Noah's Ark around here, so mom said we were therapy animals, yeah, that us!) and, as therapy, we runabout and play with her before bed...it's all of us being happy together at the end of the day, just being together, getting combed out, fed, chin-scrunchies, ear massages, and a good chase that leads to deep sleep! We

love how mom hides treats in our cuddle cups, tunnels, winter fairy-huts, and so we also get to play "treasure hunt" then "steal the treasure" then "steal the treasure back" and well, you get the idea! Sometimes mom falls asleep too soon...then we give her a bit o'"WHAT FOR!" in the morning, but it's all good because we have each other, and our guineaFriends, Fairy and Millie Bea. A soothing way to end the day with one another and fun.

Precious MacNutPie as a Wee Lad

Remember when I first came here? And mom named me after the macadamia nut pie that Papa and JaniePies in Sandy Eggo with help from the MODS helped send mom FedX overnight so it would arrive FRESH? And it actually took TWO WEEKS to arrive because FedX wouldn't deliver it to a P.O. Box so they gave it to UPS, who wouldn't deliver it to a P.O. box so they gave it back, or gave it to somebody, who eventually gave it to the Main Post Office who wouldn't deliver it the mom's P.O. because UPS had to do it...

So, while mom waited for her pie, she got me instead?! Well, turned out I love to eat, and - wee widdle laddie that I was at the time - simply moved into my beautiful food bowl to eat, pray, and love my food all in the same place! Why Move around when everything I needed was here in my ornamental chariot of fulfillment?

Mom eventually received her pie. And I eventually "outgrew" my food bowl. And my cage. And...
Well, let's just say it led to FAME! Not only did I become one of mom's best-selling cards to raise funds for our Sanctuary, but...well, I HAVE EVEN MORE EXCITING NEWS!

Only, we think mom hid the egg-timer and Raj wants to tell his news first and all I want is for mom to feed us and comb me out and show me The Love because CocoNutPie has been a little bossy today...

(but I have news, big, big, news...and PapaPie and MamaPie, we love you! Oh, and mom said the pie WAS delicious! Only now they have flights direct from Bellingham to Hawaii, so she asked next time if she could just pick it up herself?)

I love you all, whoever you are!

YourFavourite,
MacNutPie

EDITOR: "Sweet heart, we don't really have favorites around here, we love you all, darling!"
"Darling, Schmarling, I reign and you know it, mom!"
"Fair enough, tonight a nice comb-out and special, special treat: fresh, organic pomegranate!"
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

MOM! TELL FAIRY, TELL FAIRY, TELL HER, TELL HER, TELL HER!

Raj Mahal, of masked-face and bi-colored, lower-lip-fame
has some LOVERLY news for Fairy!
"Pip-Pip, tell her, tell her, mom, TELL HER!"

"WHAT?" you ask. "DON'T WE MEAN YUM-YUM?"
Of course we do...not...exactly...do...donut!

"SQUEEEEEEEEEE!"
MacNutPie, you have BIG NEWS, TOO?
OOOOH, OOOOOH, FUN!
WELL, LOOKS LIKE IT ISN'T
TAKING AN EGG-TIMER TO
TELL US MOM'S GONE OFF
THE END OF IT,
SO BYE-BYE, AND SNUGGLES
AND FOND WISHES
TO FAIRY...
FROM...
Ah! And THAT, dear friends,
is the mystery now!

ARTISANS IN THE NEWS!

Local talents on display at Artisans - Grow Northwest

READ WHAT MOM ISN'T IN (so it's safe!)

Rick asked mom to come in when the photographer was

doing something or the interviewer was eating chocolate

or something but she was late, as usual...unaware that

her 15 minutes of fame had been spent day-dreaming

beneath the chill of an ice pack...Rick chastised her for

being late until she reminded him soberly and with a

straight face: "I know your secrets!" Rick inched away,

slinking far from sight.

This is the article and we are pretty sure that is the card

rack belonging to the two incredibly talented brothers

mom got "seated with" at the last First Friday Art Walk

where she learned "CupFacing" from their blinky-sneakered

little sister.

But she missed big Chocolate Hoo-Hah last night, sleeping

20 HOURS! Which gave her the energy to take her walker

out for muffins...just in case the snows came harder than

predicted (or, at all, for that matter...the real storms only

come when NOT predicted!)

Anyway, we apologize, as we have quite a lot of catching up

to do in the categories (choose ONE)

1. FAIRY MAKES HER OWN CHOICES! (and it ain't YumYum!)

2.FAIRY'S NEW CHOICE BLUSHES, and chooses a far more

gentlemanly way of wooing her, Q & A Style, as if meeting, for

the first time, over tea and mousies, and locking eyes, no matter

that Fairy is blind, for her heart is Not!

3.Something really good happened to mom...what was that?

OH RIGHT! She WOKE UP ALREADY! Wasn't the most

productive week, glad she bought our supplies in bulk for these

"just in case" events.

4.We are now on a 5-minute, broken egg-timer computer schedule

since mom couldn't tolerate a higher dose of the migraine preventive

medication...and our posts must be condensed.

5.THAT THE FUNNIEST THING WE EVER HEARD!

BYE-BYE FOR NOW! SENDING FAIRY DUST ACROSS THE POND

SO IF LOVE-SPRINKLES FALL IN YOUR HAIR...DON'T COMB THEM OUT!

P.S. BIG NEWS FROM GUINEA PIG MAGAZINE...COMING SOON!