MOM WON! SHE'LL BE A FLOAT IN THE THANKSGIVING MACY'S PARADE IN NYC!

 

HI, it's me, Bhindi, and my story actually goes backwards like pretty much everything around
here, so if you can't read backwards, we'll give you a treat to stop reading since you've been warned.

Here's how mom won a place floating (we don't know exactly where) in Macy's Thanksgiving Holiday Parade LIVE in and from New York City!!!

First off, she didn't and none of this is true.
(Except they do have a Novelty Balloons category.)

Second, mom has to walk every day. One day gale force winds brought the brunt of a November windstorm upon us skipping fall entirely. Come to think of it, the storm skipped October, too.
In gale force winds, mom still walked on the dock.
But mom isn't a sailor on the Schooner Zodiac like that dapper version of Captain Jack Sparrow you see below, she's a mountain girl, so all she had to wear was her mountain gear except when you are in the mountains (and there is now snow there - WHEEK!)
MANY more layers of clothing are worn beneath what you see her sporting above. Without the layers,
the winds blew her mountain jackets so poofy-puffy
she nearly blew away. Not to mention she won't be modeling her togs in your next Patagonia catalog, either. (Cuz most of her old gear from The North Face.) Way more than you need to know...Still here?FINE! She looked more like the Giant Pumpkin of "Charlie Brown" fame. Except it was less pretty.
But really who knows? Since, as we all do know,
the Giant Pumpkin never showed up.
IF YOU AREN'T AMERICAN, we apologize, you might not understand everything. But we are American and - believe me - we don't understand, 
either! So we saw mom's pictures and entered her in the Macy Parade's "Novelty Balloons" category, thinking how fine it would be to see New Yorkers and visitors from around the world looking up and
there would be mom blowing about, knocking back and forth, to & fro, smashing hither & thither into
Manhattan's towering sky-scrapers. 
Actually, we didn't enter her in anything. 
Frankly, we found her appearance mortifying.

 

Please forgive us, whoever you are, but you one fine sailor dude aboard the Schooner Zodiac and THIS IS THE PROPER WAY TO DRESS ON THE WATER OR IN A SCHOONER OR PIRATE SHIP!
THIS is the kind of thing mom does that embarrasses us all the time! Why couldn't she dress like this?
When she came home, we kinda acted like we didn't know her. But she was happy for the walk, especially because in a storm that bad the only others out actually were mountaineers! YEAH, now this part true: There was an elite cross-country skier actually running, a seventy+ year old geezer guy mom liked who only took up snowboarding 4 years ago, mom, and then she met the former HEAD OF SEARCH AND RESCUE from Mt. Baker who would have been the one to find her (note brightly colored vest? not just for good looks: easier to find her if Search & Rescue...well, ya know) and they got to talk about where it's safe to snowshoe on the Mountain without dying in an avalanche, which a few years ago a snowshoer did. Rare, because it's usually the defiant snowboarders 
and back-country skiers who go WAY OUT OF BOUNDS and need rescuing.
If they survive. 

Mom said the coolest part was everybody waving:
"SEE YA ON THE MOUNTAIN!" as they passed one another along the dock.
(Distinctly not nautical.)


 

What will mom do to embarrass us next? 
Well, her eyesight is not exactly what we would call
Kosher and she doesn't know what we are saying here because she sorta can't even see it! (hee-hee)
But we know one thing for certain:

Yum-Yum: "What would that be, Bhindi?"

Bhindi: "I don't approve this message. But I have to approve Captainess Jacky Sparrow, cuz she our mom and plays with us, and cuddles us, and feeds us."

For more info on the parade, see collage link above.
(On the bottom of the collage.)
SEE? You were warned!

Squirrel: "NOBODY APPROVED THIS MESSAGE! WHEEEEeeeeeeeeeek!"
"Thank you, Squirrel," quoth Bhindi.
P.S. we have a very funny story to share about Squirrel but need to be able to see & type good to share. hope we can soon.
love you.
We made up nearly everything and just wasted time you will never get back again for the rest of your life.
'scuse us.
~*~

SWEETEST SHADES OF GREY...SQUIRREL!

 

it's me, Squirrel...
mom still dreams that i have a tail.


 

i love sitting in her open palm.
without the tail i don't have.

 

sometimes i think Deep Thoughts
while in repose on mom's open palm.
thoughts about being receptive, 
accepting change, going with the Flow.
i may be little but my Philosophical
Perspective on Life is quite profound.
which is why i know that i am a
guinea pig because all squirrels do
is steal bird feeders: they are nefarious!

 

so i know i am a guinea pig.
although in this photograph i don't 
look grey: i am multifariously 
COLORFUL and only appear grey.
still: i remain beautiful on grey days,
blue & sunny days, cloudy days,
rainy days, dark days, windy days...
mom says i make her day!
What more could one ask?
i make everyone happy! 
and i approve this message.

SHADES OF GREY: LONELINESS OR SOLITUDE?

 

 

Are you lonely when you are alone or can you sit on a bench
and feel comfortable in the Gaping Grey Jaw where the water
meets the sky?
(I prefer to walk with my poles and look for otters.
Here is no loneliness:  only land, sea, and me.)
And on a lucky day...river otters!
On the luckiest day that hasn't happened yet? KILLER WHALES!
YEAH, KILLER WHALES!
ORCAS.

I wanna be a Whale-Rider in the Deep!
Riding Orcas in my sleep...

Alone, yet not lonely:
October's Shades of Grey.
~*~

HANDS in ORANGE & BLACK

 

MY NAME IS VINNY-GUINEA AND I APPROVE THIS MESSSAGE

Mom is going offline effective
immediately to spend time with us.
These are Yum-Yum's final days,
weeks, we don't know. But we do
know we need her more than 
cyberspace so we are now officially
OFF THE GRID.
We know you all understand why.

Actually, we all approve this message.
~*~

OUR "LITTLE BUDDHA"

Yum-Yum is less active daily but showers
upon us blessings on how to Die with Grace.
His habitat now sits surrounded by all of his
minions (including the Big one on the bed)
 creating
a Ring of Love surrounding him.
I think he loves us more, though.
He has stopped crying in pain
even when peeing blood and is
not on any pain medication as
the vet refused to dispense it
but I would no longer force
anything upon him anyway
so that when I do reach in to pet or
pick him up he will not be afraid I am
going to force medicine on him.
He loves chewing on his wooden
box and the doors are becoming
so large it now resembles a Pavilion!
He is still eager for his salad and we are
now growing a new crop of wheatgrass,
and he eats well, drinks with delight,
yet has become Peaceful: no longer do
the Pirates on Runabout chattering their
teeth at him receive a response. He seems
simply to love them and appreciate their
dropping by to visit, even if their own
intentions are to make him mad.
He has begun to take on the qualities of
a Living Buddha, with equanimity,
peaceful repose, still playful, still loving
Life, still wanting to be held and petted,
now wrapped up like a Pig-in-a -Blanket
in one of our new custom-sewn soft, quilted
"floors" gifted to the Sanctuary: one is his
to be picked up in when he comes to bed
with me and we snuggle under the electric
blanket now that it has become chilly at night.
Polarfleece, which these floors are made of
(i think) is used in jackets and mountaineering
gear for warmth so he is my "Pig in a Blanket"
except wiser, calmer, and Holier than anyone
I have seen die...with the possible exception of
my godson in the Philippines who passed away
as a child...and had Visions he wrote and described
only to me in letters which I have shared with
no one yet, not even his own mother. One day
I will. The time still does not seem right.
It feels like YumYum is already halfway in
Heaven just playing Here until he finishes being
a guinea pig and gets his Angel Wings.

Beautiful Boy Next To My Bed

 

By my bedside now the guinea pigs
play
With Yum-Yum never far
away
Their habitats touch
Noses rub so much
because not a one
among us
can live
far away.
He is happy
he plays
With his Squirrel
becomes Young
Old Friend, Guinea Pig,
Yum-Yum,
Please stay ~

WindyCanes

Last night we listened to bits and pieces of
Bellingham blow away beneath us; early for
the Winds which usually arrive in November.
We didn't mind. Rain pelted the windows,
wind drowned out all sounds of the city,
and Nature tucked us in bed reminding
us that She will return...and before we
can shake a lamb's tail the mountains
will be capped with fresh powder.
Yes, exactly the content of guinea pig
dreams: fresh pow.
Off to watch "Shrek" now and have
our cages cleaned with snuggles
and cuddles.
And still the wind blows.

CAN WE TALK?

 

Dear Friends, Readers, Well-Wishers,
Guinea Piggers, Brothers and Sisters,
It has been brought my attention that I do not understand the process of "How to Blog" in a way that does not make you all want to pull your hair out, scream into Clouds, throw yourselves
in front of a fast-moving train...that I "publish" the Title and Photographs then write, edit, re-write, post, edit, re-post, ad nauseum...heck, it makes me sick just thinking about it!

And I do believe my friend speaks the truth. I haven't got a freaking CLUE how to blog, never have, may never in the future, either! I used to use this thing called a typewriter and another thing, some of you may remember this one: film!? Anybody?

I actually used to touch paper, ink, film, scratch out words, change punctuation, develop film in a darkroom, hand stuff to an editor...

Well, obviously you are not enjoying the luxury of an editor if you read any of my blogs since I rant on and on whereas back in the old days they would say "You have so & so many words for this" and each double-spaced, typed page (I think, so this really is something I'm making up) was about 500 words...

POINT IS...I DON'T KNOW HOW BLOGGER WORKS. I KIND OF JUST THROW STUFF OUT LIKE A JACKSON POLLOCK PAINTING, THEN SMEAR IT ALL AROUND.

What I did not know, however, is how frustrating this "creative process" (hee-hee!) is for you, our readers and friends. 

So! One day I will learn how to Blog properly
O.K. seriously, if you have read anything here, you know that's about as likely to happen as World Peace. Do we Want World Peace? OF COURSE. (Well, lots of us do.)
It gonna happen? Yeah, when I figure out how to use a laptop. Which gonna be NEVER. And it's not my fault, either, because a bunch o'crackheads in Silicon Valley and up north here
at Microsoft wait...wait...just for shits & giggles they wait until they figure the average Joe or
Joe-Girl is getting her head wrapped around a certain thing they have programmed then they throw a party and MAKE IT BETTER! 

Like politicians drawing lines on a piece of paper to delineate what they call "countries" that only separate and divide people and make them hate each other and go to war. It's only lines on a piece of paper but look at all the damage those lines do! (lots.) 

So, I apologize. And suggest you wait a day or three after I first post-a-post to read it because it will have reincarnated many times before I forget about it and move on. It might be safe then to read and assume you are getting the final edit.

Blame it on us old-school photojournalists. If you did it for real you probably don't have a job today in the profession. Nobody I know does anymore. If you are/were a dentist or rich and did it as a hobby and could/can afford all the latest/greatest iThings, you are probably taking the best pictures either out in the field or with Photoshop.

Either way, I still have that film stuff in my freezer from 1983, Kodachrome, and a pencil and paper with lines.

So don't expect things around here to improve much. Just didn't realize that this process is so aggravating for readers, and I really do wish you could come here and have a delightful experience. Until then (like, until NEVAH!)
We really do appreciate you taking the time to drop by and let us become a part of your lives.

love,
Chana & the Pirate Pigs

(Our motto is: "Never let incompetence keep you from doing something stupid.")
That's our story and we're sticking to it!

"Who Loves Ya, Baby? Yum-Yum
Loves Ya!"  We really do.

GIFTS...(still in editing...21st Edition now...)

 

Today was extraordinary.
Woke up and got out of bed: check!
Fed the piggies: check!
Let piggies out on Runabout, starting
with Yum-Yum and Squirrel: check!
Peter didn't destroy his rabbit pen (for once)
while Yum-Yum taught Squirrel how to 
taunt those not on Runabout 
when you ARE: check!
Breakfast, treats, lap-time: check!
Mom to walk again for first time in...
(the Crumbling Begins.)
No, no walking. A drunken stagger.
Uh. Hmmmm....then,
Yum-Yum has his first seizure since his
Joyful, Unbridled, Embracing of 
Squirrel's Arrival:
"The Crumbling" Rumbles Louder.
Mom walking? Mom stops trying,
hides under covers, weeping.
NOT GOOD. 
ANNOYS GUINEA PIGS:
"Mom, GET A LATTE AND YOUR
POLES AND GET THE ^$* OUT OF
HERE, YOU ARE 100% BUMMING
US OUT! BE GONE, WE SAY,
BE GONE, PATHETIC WOMAN!"
mom slinks out with her walker. "FINE! But if I come
home to one dead guinea pig..."
"OUT!!!"
mom leaves. goes to waterfront cafe. downs latte.
takes walker to dock, all drunk-like then the
bump-bumpity-bump of  gravel, the dock:
Annoying!
returns to Forester, gets ski-walking-poles, figures
only place to fall is down, so threatens
Gravity to not get in the damn way,
she in NO MOOD!
WALKS WITH POLES; Gravity behaves: check!
Getting better again. Doesn't rain like forecast, either.
Goes to Village Books, is handed the funniest book ever written
in the history or the world by an employee (not book's author)
who finds mom (possibly, ya think?) MORBID, then mom cannot
eat at Book Fare for laughing so hard after every sentence.
Has to actually carry food back, for first time ever.
Book Fare owner/chef so awesome an Epic FIRST not to complete
  meal, but book wins. Chef sympathizes. Said wife read book, too.
Book: Let's Pretend This Never Happened
(A Mostly True Memoir)
by Jenny Lawson.
Killer Funny.

Oh, remember that otter up there? Sees four!
Everyone is watching the river otters, quite
unusual, for they are out in the saltwater Bay,
swimming, playing, fishing, eating, and delighting
all who gather along the boardwalk dock to gape
at this unusual site! Mom discovers a group of
otters (sea or river) is called a "raft of otters"
strangers speaking different languages all gather
with eyes OPEN WIDE to enjoy The Raft play,
leap from water's surface in perfect arcs punctuated
by long tails that slap water's surface as if to say:
"HEY-HEY-HEY! IT'S RAFT-O'OTTER DAY!"
Check! Day turning to dusk and improving still...

 

A magnificently dressed woman in her eighties appears
on the dock and asks mom about the otters. She is wearing a
formal bright red hat accented by bright red lipstick, gold
earrings, stunning jewelry, and appears ready to attend a high
society ball one might read about in a Jane Austen novel.
SUDDENLY, she points to a site even more unexpected than 
rafts of otters and ladies-in-waiting:
THE SCHOONER!
It's the Galaxy, sailing from a port south into
Bellingham Bay before turning West towards
the San Juan Islands at dusk and her deck is
filled to capacity!

 

She's breathtaking! The otters disappear
into secret hidey-holes as all eyes turn
longingly towards the Zodiac while the
sun sets behind her, leaving pink streaks
across a pale blue sky beneath which calm
waters and the San Juan Islands await
her arrival.

Mom returns home and everyone is like,
"Mom, FEED US!"
DOUBLE-CHECK.
YUM-YUM is nonchalantly chewing his 
cardboard-box house which is Triple-Check 
Why? Because he is alive and happy:
It is Good.*

*Piggies however, have censored ALL INCOMING MEDIA other
than mom's funny new book and watching "The Daily Show" with
Jon Stewart and "The Colbert Report" if she behaves.
Can you blame them?
~~*~~

{No photos taken by author and publishing them may
be an unlawful infringement of Copyright Law.
Sorry.}

An Unexpected Turn

 

YES! 
You have seen this photograph before and will undoubtedly see it again.
Yum-Yum just began seizing again.
I will write from the bone of my Pain about this
Journey so I invite those of you who don't want to
take it with us to stop reading...We can only express genuinely what feels real and authentic to us, we're not a "feel good, inspirational seminar" I promise, so only those dear ones reading here willing to witness the grief of a human who is also struggling with her own demons at this time (the drug withdrawal, the daily migraines, how to keep food down, how to stay hydrated? should I throw up in the bucket or can I make it into the bathroom? what position helps most when my stomach is screaming like a starving wolf? how to remember the need to get out of bed every day?) we are going There Now and if it hurts to read, dear friends, we do understand. (O.K. not really, until Kestra sweetly explained that I underestimate how painful it can be for those who love us to watch this and for me not to think we are suddenly alone and that nobody cares...) Thank you, Kestra.
Just one thing, let us Be who we are and Feel how we feel. Because I am no saint and losing Yum-Yum, even slowly,  really hurts. 

On my other blog "Honeyantdreaming" you can read about suddenly remembering my unborn son yesterday; I try to separate the blogs, but that line is blurring now...even I cannot always tell the difference.
~*~

WE GOTZ A DREAM TOO: MOMMY, STOP SINGING! PLEASE...

 

DEDICATED TO EVERY GUINEA PIG WHO IS A 
SERVICE ANIMAL:
WE FEEL YUR PANE!!!

Yum-Yum: "Lil'bloke, now look here. You're doing a great job as my Blog Apprentice, but
we're an "uptown" blog and we use proper spelling and correct English when we vent here, so I hope you understand that I will be teaching you to blog like HemingPigWay, not a street urchin. Capiche?"

Squirrel: "Yes, Yum-Yum, I capiche."
YY: "O.K. Let's try it again. From the top."

Squirrel: "MOM DOES THAT!
MOM DOES THAT, SHE SAYS,
'FROM THE TOP' BEFORE SHE STARTS SINGING AND -"

YY: "Squirrel, you realize she has put my bed next to hers. You think I don't feel your/our pain?"

Squirrel: "oh. yeah. true, that."

YY: "Little grasshopper, blogging is storytelling. Just tell our story truthfully and you will have mastered the art. We all have faith in you: You Have a Dream. Just use the five W's: What, Why, When, Who, Where. O.K. now, from the - 
Just begin again with your story."

Squirrel: Nobody knows what we are going through and i duzn't know how to use periods but nobuddy knows all she does when she can't get out of bed is listen to Les Mis and try to memorize the words when she can't even spell my name because she doesn't even know "does the Q go before or after the U? I can't remember, she says" then she sings all the parts and act them out even using a dustbuster and other things like plants and she done cut her hair with sewing shears like Fantine last Janrary so her hairdresser cut in HALF how much she got to pay her now to GET HER HAIR CUT PROPER cuz that lady you KNOW THAT HAIRDRESSER don't want NOBODY seein'  mom walk in dat place and sittin' in dat chair with dat Fantine hair (cuz, seriously, she don't look like no Anne Hathaway, either) so hairgirl pleads with mom NOT TO CUT HER OWN HAIR AGAIN so we put duct tape on her art supplies if they gotz scissors and then now she trying to learn the words and have i forgotten to mention the drumming? OH, YEAH! dat what we get on a GOOD DAY WHEN SHE NOT IN BED and can sit on her yoga ball cuz her physical therapist said to but now so she singing and you know why? YOU KNOW WHY?
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH? SHE GONNA GO WATCH THE MOVIE ON CHRISTMAS cuz that what Jews do then have Chinese food (at least we sure jon stewRt said that once) and they put her in the back with the gimpy people and SHE GONNA SING WITH DA MOVIE!!!  anyone see "Inglorious Bastards?" well, it was violent but the whole movie theatre TOTALLY EXPLODES AT THE END IN AN INFERNO wid all them bad peeps and that what it gonna see m  like   if , if..."

Yum-Yum: "Do I detect budding 'James Joyce' thing happening here? We may actually have a literary genius in my wee, widdle apprentice!"

EVERYBODY TOGETHER FOR THE REPRISE:
"Tomorrow is another day and only God knows what we eat today...one more hay...one more hay....ONE HAY MORE!!!!!!!"
~*~

(the blog below contains the Trailer from the film
where, for the first time in Cinematic History, the
actors sang each part LIVE on film, while the
orchestration was added later. this gave them,
forced them, to be as real and authentic in
their roles as possible.)
Apologies Ms. A, we just discovered how unreadable green is. It will never happen
again we promise!